as the herder Gerdy, yes Gerdy, and the awkward instrument of the same name that's cool in

its steampunk, fiddle-like appearance. But here's the thing: I'd rather not hear the

music produced by it. You could argue that it's more important that the instrument, with

its primary function of producing music, should be better in that regard. You'd be right.

Why am I talking about the weird Hungarian instrument so much? Well, I think it's an

amazing and specific coincidence that Herdy Gerdy's namesake is a nearly perfect analogy

to the game itself; that is, Herdy Gerdy looks as theoretically awesome as the instrument,

and plays...well, it plays as well and annoyingly as the instrument sounds. Herdy Gerdy not

only artistically looks well in its watercolor, animated film style, but it also looks like

a 3D platformer. It may be strange that I'm disappointed that it's not, as any belief

that it is a 3D platformer would imply an uninformed amount of research. But, yeah,

I just picked up the game for 99 cents because of cute designs and, once again, my belief

that it was a PS2 era 3D platformer, the best era of 3D platformers. Instead, it's a poorly-controlling

herding simulator that's not fun at all. OK, so maybe Herdy Gerdy is a little bit of

a 3D platformer in that it takes place in a 3D environment and, as Gerdy, yes Gerdy,

you can jump. But when his father, Master Herder Gerdryn, yes Master Herder Gerdryn,

doesn't wake up on the day of the annual herding competition, yes annual herding competition,

Gerdy sets out to remove the evil spell placed on his father by...winning the annual herding

competition. Sounds like the father's just dead and this game is really just about a

farm animal-obsessed boy in denial, but regardless, the story makes no sense and isn't interesting

in the slightest. Luckily, other aspects of the presentation fill in the whimsical and

likeable gap left by the story and characterization. As mentioned earlier, the game has an awesome

watercolor aesthetic, and environments and characters look like video game adaptations

of some characters in an animated movie that exists somewhere. Character and creature designs

are as weird as they are charming, and while the naming of said creatures is lackluster

(doops and gromps), there's nevertheless a certain level of charm to it. Too bad it's

all ruined by the gamplay. I'm not sure I've ever played a game where

the quality of presentation and gameplay are in such stark contrast. As I mentioned, Herdy

Gerdy is a herding simulator, one that plays like a short portion of a 3D platformer I

wish the game would actually be. What I mean is that it plays badly, like it was designed

without the fact that the whole game has to be played like this in mind. You just run

at creatures to direct them towards their pens. To be fair, that's at first; later on

in the game, you get items that more effectively

help you direct creatures in the right direction. But the poor controls still stand; Gerdy moves

with flailing limbs and the amount of precision you would expect out of a kid running around

with flailing limbs. In order to move onto the next area, you need to corral a certain

percentage of the creatures, which is like whatever, but sometimes you have to come back

with a certain item to get the rest in order to embark on a different path. That would

be cool, too, getting a little Metroidvania style gameplay in there, but the herding of

the creatures is so paradoxically boring and frustrating that you don't want to go back

and prolong the game any further. I could explain to you the irrationality in having

to prove to old gypsies that you can herd and the frustration caused by the predatory,

bear-like Gromps that eat the docile creatures and cause many a level restart, but I think

I've talked about this game long enough. Almost. It may sound like I'm bashing Herdy Gerdy.

That's because I don't like it. Its neat aesthetic, that I do enjoy, somehow makes my distaste

for the game itself even greater. A game that looks like this would be great...if it played

well. The argument could be made that I suck at the game, and...yeah, I mean, I probably

do. But Herdy Gerdy's gameplay does nothing to incentivize. Conflictingly stiff and loose

controls, frustrating creature AI, collectibles that just unlock concept art and the like,

and just a boring gameplay premise effectively cancel out the likeability that could be brought

out by the game's visual style. I'm all for obscure, different games, but maybe this obscure,

different game just isn't for me. Maybe hardcore Herdy Gerdy fans can point out what's so great

about it. Otherwise, I think this one can just stay in its 99 cent, mediocre obscurity.