and you have possibly forgotten your state of mind (I doubt it though).

而妳可能已經忘記妳的心境如何 (雖然我很懷疑)。

You seem the same as always, and being you, hate every minute of it. Don't!

妳似乎一如既往，做自己，討厭著每一分鐘。別這樣！

Learn to say “F*ck You” to the world every once in a while. You have every right to. Just stop thinking, worrying,

偶爾也該學著對這個世界說「去你的。」妳有權利這麼做。就是別再思索、擔心、

looking over your shoulder, wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out,

提心吊膽、徘徊、懷疑、害怕、受傷、希望有些簡單的出路、

struggling, grasping, confusing, itching, scratching, mumbling, bumbling, grumbling,

掙扎、緊握、困惑、渴望、搔破頭、含糊不清、笨手笨腳、發牢騷、

humbling, stumbling, numbling, rambling, gambling, tumbling, scumbling, scrambling, hitching,

低聲下氣、躊躇不前、麻木不仁、東拉西扯、投機取巧、冒冒失失、輕描淡寫、匆匆忙忙、蹣跚而行、

hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning, honing, boning, horse-shitting, hair-splitting, nit-picking,

策畫、找麻煩、抱怨、埋怨、怨恨、埋頭苦幹、胡說八道、吹毛求疵、雞蛋裡挑骨頭、

piss-trickling, nose sticking, ass-gouging, eyeball-poking, finger-pointing, alleyway-sneaking,

浪費時間、好管閒事、招搖撞騙、引人注目、互相指責、鬼鬼祟祟、

long waiting, small stepping, evil-eyeing, back-scratching, searching, perching, besmirching,

長久等候、小心翼翼、眼神惡毒、互相利用、追根究柢、尸位素餐、汙言穢語、

grinding, grinding, grinding away at yourself. Stop it and just DO.

一直一直折磨你自己。不要再如此，做就對了。

From your description, and from what I know of your previous work and your ability;

從妳的敘述，還有對妳先前的創作及妳的能力了解；

the work you are doing sounds very good. “Drawing — clean — clear but crazy like machines, larger and bolder…

妳的創作聽起來很好。「畫風乾淨、俐落，但像機器一般瘋狂，更宏偉、更放肆 ...

real nonsense.” That sounds fine, wonderful — real nonsense. Do more. More nonsensical, more

真的毫無意義。」那聽起來很棒、很美妙 — 真正的毫無意義。再多創作一些。更毫無意義、

crazy, more machines, more breasts, penises, cunts, whatever — make them abound with nonsense.

更多的瘋狂、更多的機械、更多胸部、陰莖、陰道，無論甚麼 — 去創作更多毫無意義的東西。

Try and tickle something inside you, your “weird humor.”

試著喚醒妳內心深處的東西，妳的「古怪幽默」。

You belong in the most secret part of you. Don't worry about cool, make your own uncool.

妳屬於妳自己內心深處最隱密的部分。別擔心是不是很酷，創造屬於妳自己的不酷吧！

Make your own, your own world. If you fear, make it work for you — draw and paint your fear and anxiety.

創造妳自己的世界。如果妳害怕，讓害怕為妳所用 — 畫出妳的恐懼與焦慮。

And stop worrying about big, deep things such as “to decide on a purpose and way of life,

然後停止擔心一些深奧的事情，像是「決定一個目標與人生的道路，

a consistent approach to even some impossible end or even an imagined end.”

對一些不可能的結果或甚至想像的結果抱持一致的態度。」

You must practice being stupid, dumb, unthinking, empty. Then you will be able to DO.

妳必須學著笨一點、駑鈍一點、少想一點、放空自己。然後你才能去做。

I have much confidence in you and even though you are tormenting yourself, the work you do is very good.

我對妳很有信心，即使妳一直在折磨自己，妳的創作很好。

Try to do some BAD work — the worst you can think of and see what happens

試著做一些糟糕的創作 — 妳能想到最糟的創作，然後看看會發生甚麼事，

but mainly relax and let everything go to hell — you are not responsible for the

但最主要是放鬆，然後讓所有事都下地獄吧 — 妳不需要為這個世界負責 —

world — you are only responsible for your work — so just DO IT.

妳只對妳自己的創作負責 — 所以放手做吧。

And don't think that your work has to conform to any preconceived form, idea or flavor.

不需要覺得妳的創作必須遵循任何先入為主的形式、想法或風格。

It can be anything you want it to be. But if life would be easier for you if you stopped working — then stop.

它可以是妳想要的任何形式。但如果停止創作會讓妳的生活變得容易些 — 那就停手吧！

Don't punish yourself. However, I think that it is so deeply engrained in you

別懲罰妳自己。然而，我覺得創作已經深植於妳的內心，

that it would be easier to DO. It seems I do understand your attitude somewhat,

所以放手去做會更加容易。似乎我有些了解妳的態度，

anyway, because I go through a similar process every now again myself. I have an “Agonizing Reappraisal” of my work

好吧，因為我每隔一段時間就會經歷相同過程。我對我的創作都有「全盤重新評估」的過程，

and change everything as much as possible — and hate everything I've done,

然後盡可能的更改所有東西 — 厭惡所有我完成的東西，

and try to do something entirely different and better. Maybe that kind of process is

接著試圖做些完全不同、更好的東西。或許那樣的過程

necessary to me, pushing me on and on. The feeling that I can do better than that shit I just did.

對我來說是必要的，一直把我往前推進。有種我可以做出比剛剛那種垃圾更好的感覺。

Maybe you need your agony to accomplish what you do. And maybe it goads you on to do better.

也許妳需要備受煎熬才能完成妳正在做的事。或許這樣能驅使妳做得更好。

But it is very painful I know. It would be better if you had the confidence just to do the stuff and not even think about it.

但我知道這是非常痛苦的。如果妳有自信放手去做而不要思考太多，這樣就更好了。

Can't you leave the “world” and“art” alone? And also quit fondling your ego. I know that you, or anyone, can only

妳就不能把「世界」與「藝術」分離出來嗎？還有停止安撫妳的自我。我知道妳，或是所有人

work so much and the rest of the time you are left with your thoughts.

只能工作那些時間，剩下的時間都留給妳自己的思緒了。

But when you work or before your work you have to empty your mind and concentrate on what you are doing.

但當妳在創作，或創作之前，妳必須清空妳的腦袋，並集中在妳正在做的事上。

After you do something it is done and that's that. After a while you can see some

在妳做完某件作品時，就是完成了。過一段時間後，

are better than others but also you can see what direction you are going.

妳可以看出哪一些比較好，但同時妳也可以看清前進的方向。

I'm sure you know all that. You also must know that you don't have to justify your work —

我確定妳很清楚。妳也要了解妳不需要為自己的作品找理由 —

 not even to yourself. Well, you know I admire your work greatly and can't understand why you are so bothered by it.

甚至對妳自己也不用。妳知道我很欣賞妳的創作，而且我無法了解為什麼妳為創作感到困擾。

But you can see the next ones and I can't. You also must believe in your ability.

但你可以看到下一個創作，而我無法。妳也必須相信自己的能力。

I think you do. So try the most outrageous things you can — shock yourself.

我覺得妳有。所以試著創作一些出格的作品 — 讓自己嚇一跳吧。

You have at your power the ability to do anything.

妳有能力做到任何事。

I would like to see your work and will have to be content to wait until Aug or Sept.

我很期待看到妳的作品，必須等到八月或九月才能等到吧。

I have seen photos of some of Tom's new things at Lucy's. They are very impressive — 

我在 Lucy 那看到一些 Tom 新作的照片。他們很令人印象深刻 —

especially the ones with the more rigorous form; the simpler ones. I guess he'll send some more later on.

特別是有嚴謹形式的那些；最簡練的那些。我猜他之後會寄更多來。

Let me know how the shows are going and that kind of stuff.

讓我知道展覽辦得如何，還有諸如此類的事。

My work has changed since you left and it is much better. I will be having a show May

妳離開之後我的作品就有些改變了，變得更好了。我在 5 月 4 日到 29 日會辦個展覽，

4–29 at the Daniels Gallery 17 E 64th St (where Emmerich was), I wish you could be there.

就在 Daniels 畫廊，東 64 街 17 號 (過去是 Emmerich 所在地)。我希望妳可以來。

Much love to you both. Sol

愛妳們兩位。Sol 筆。