Oh!

噢！

Wonderful!

很好！

Well, we are planning a beach vacation and we're looking to hire someone to watch our Lily.

這個嘛，我們在規劃一場海灘之旅，想找個人來顧我們的 Lily。

Great!

好啊！

How old is she?

她幾歲呢？

She just turned 30.

她剛滿 30 歲。

Wow, you both look so young.

哇，你們兩個看起來真年輕。

Oh my goodness, no no.

噢天，不是啦。

She is not our child.

她不是我們的孩子。

She's the baby of our friend group.

她只是我們朋友圈裡的寶寶。

Ohh.

噢！

Is the Wi-Fi working for you guys?

WiFi 是不是壞掉了啊？

Is it on airplane mode?

妳是不是開到飛航模式？

Ohh, mmhmm.

噢，對！

She's so cute.

她真可愛。

She's technically an adult, but she has the practical life skills of a toddler.

她基本上是個成人，但只有幼兒的生活技能。

That can be tough.

這樣會很辛苦呢！

I mean we love her, you know, we really do and we want her to come with.

我們愛她，真的愛她，也想要她一起來。

But it's, uh, it's been a little hard to travel when she doesn't know how to make a reservation at a restaurant or load a dishwasher.

但，呃，跟她旅行有點累，因為她不會訂餐廳，連洗碗機也不會用。

Never responds to email threads?

都不回電子郵件？

Always arrives late, if at all?

總是會遲到？

Yes!

對！

Only knows how to cook eggs?

唯一的廚藝就是荷包蛋？

Yes!

沒錯！

Every time she insists she can cook dinner for us, it's always dry (bleep) eggs!

每次她堅持要做晚餐給我們吃，就一定是煎蛋！

That's very, very normal for the baby of the friend group.

這在朋友圈裡的寶寶中都是很常見的。

How unprepared do you think she is for the trip this week?

你覺得她對這趟旅行，準備的狀況如何？

Who knows? Hold on, I'll see.

誰知道呢？等等，我來問問。

Lily, do you know where we're going this week?

Lily，你知道我們這禮拜要去哪裡嗎？

Beach?

海灘？

- Oh, good. - Yeah.

- 噢，不錯欸。 - 真的。

Do you know which beach?

妳知道是哪個海灘嗎？

There's more than one beach?

世界上不是只有一個海灘嗎？

Yes, there's more than one beach in Los Angeles.

對，在洛杉磯就不只一個海灘了。

We're going to Santa Monica.

我們要去聖莫尼卡海灘。

We told her.

早跟她講過了。

And what are you bringing for your trip?

妳準備了什麼行李啊？

Weed.

大麻！

And?

還有呢？

And toothbrush.

還有牙刷！

And what else, just the brush?

還有呢，牙刷而已嗎？

Or are you gonna want some toothpaste, too?

還是妳也會想要帶點牙膏？

Can't I just borrow theirs?

我不能借他們的就好了嗎？

Hell no.

才不行！

The last time she used up all my Colgate Max White for Men and my mouth smelled like a trashcan instead of like, you know, a man.

上次她把我的高露潔男性亮白牙膏整個用完，害我的口氣聞起來超差，而不是像個，嗯，男人！

Please?

拜託嘛？

She used my expensive face sunscreen on her entire body.

她還把我昂貴的防曬面霜拿來塗整個身體。

- I didn't know. - And I got sunburnt!

- 我哪知！ - 害我曬傷了！

Okay, I'll bring my own pastes and lotions.

好嘛，我自己帶牙膏跟乳液！

And don't you think you want to bring a swimsuit?

妳不覺得應該帶一件泳衣嗎？

I can't find mine.

我找不到泳衣...

Oh my goodness.

我的天。

Lillian, we got you a swimsuit last year!

Lillian，我們去年才買一套泳衣給妳！

- It's lime green so she wouldn't lose it. - Oh!

- 是萊姆綠的，這樣她才不會搞丟。 - 噢！

Where is it?

在哪？

I'm wearing it!

我正穿在身上！

Lily no.

Lily 不行！

Pants on.

把褲子穿好。

She's like pushing boundaries.

她一直在挑戰我的極限。

Are you wearing your bathing suit because you ran out of clean underwear?

妳因為乾淨的內褲都穿完了，才穿泳褲的嗎？

Yes.

對。

But, it's my second time wearing it when I do it all inside out so it's good as new.

但是，這是我第二次穿，我有把它翻過來穿，所以它跟新的一樣。

She smells.

她臭死了。

I could smell that.

我有聞到。

You guys are being so mean!

你們很壞欸！

Laundry's really hard!

洗衣服真的很難！

Please stop whining!

別再吵了！

I have an idea of something that could help.

我有個點子，或許能幫上忙。

To be separated by color, I just wanna do one...

還要照顏色分，我只想...

I know.

我知道。

What about this?

這個怎麼樣啊？

Ooo!

哦！

Ah.

噢。

Why didn't I think of that?

我怎麼沒想到？

Here you go.

來吧！

It's Fireball.

是火球。

You really get her.

妳還真懂她。

You're hired!

妳錄取了！

Great!

棒！

She's sweet.

她很可愛。

I'm hungry.

我餓了。

Do you guys want eggs?

你們想吃蛋嗎？

No.

不要。

Oh, you know what, I got this.

噢，交給我。

Come on, you're hungry?

妳餓了吧？

Uh-huh.

嗯。

Come here and have a sip.

過來，吸一口。

Here, try to get on there.

來，試著過來。

This freaky (bleep) always happens when you try to hire a babysitter for your adult child.

幫「大小孩」找保母，這 Ｘ 的怪行為總是會發生。

Oop!

噢！

She latched.

她很會吸母奶！

Hey!

嗨！

It's Lily.

我是 Lily。

If you like CollegeHumor and want to support us, sign up for Dropout for the low price of five items off the dollar menu per month, you do the math, you'll get videos like this a whole week sooner.

如果你喜歡 CollegeHumor，也想要支持我們，就來註冊 Dropout，每個月只要花點小錢就能比別人快一週看到影片哦！

To chat with us live in the Dropout Discord and get exclusive content like Dimension 20.

和我們在 Dropout Discord 上聊天，還能看到像《20 次元》的獨家內容。

There are no stupid questions.

世上沒有蠢問題。

Are you my freakin' dad?

你是我爸嗎？

Sign up for your free trial today.

註冊即可免費試用。

Did you do the math from earlier and if you did, can you tell me how much it was?

你有算這樣要花多少錢嗎？如果有，可以告訴我是多少嗎？

Cause I'm bad with numbers.

因為我對數字的概念很差。

Five and, five times one...

5...5 乘以 1...