- Yeah, babe.

-樂意之至，寶貝。

Portrait? Full body?

人像模式還是全身照？

You know what? I'll take both.

算了，我兩種都拍。

- No, okay yeah.

呃，好的。

(whimsical music)

（搞怪的音樂）

- Okay.

-好的。

(camera clicks)

（按下快門）

Yes, yes!

對了！對了！

Work it, okay, smile.

做得好！可以！微笑！

Less, less. - Okay.

收斂一點，收斂一點。-好。

- Look that way.

-看那邊。

Now, laugh.

現在，笑。

- Oh my God!

-我的天啊！

- That's like fake, not a fake laugh,

-這樣笑起來有點假，不要假笑。

like a, "Oh my God, I got caught up in the moment."

表現得像是：「我的天啊，我自然流露的表情被捕捉了下來。」

- Oh, like that? - Boom!

-這樣子嗎？-中了！

- Listen, listen to me, okay?

-聽著，聽我說，好嗎？

You are a gem.

你很珍貴。

You are smart and you are successful, and he does not deserve you.

你很聰明又很成功，他根本不值得擁有你。

- All right, see you in a bit.

-一會見。

- Hmm, you look a little bit like a hallucination.

-你這樣很迷幻風耶。

I think you should go change.

去換一套吧！

(whining) You know what he is? He's the cantaloupe in a salad.

（哀嚎）你知道他是什麼嗎？！他是沙拉里的哈密瓜。

(camera clicks) - Oh this is good.

（按下快門）-噢！這張拍得可真好！

Oh, okay.

噢，好的。

- You know how everybody hates getting cantaloupe in their salad?

-你知道大家有多討厭沙拉裡出現哈密瓜嗎？

That's what he is, he's just filler.

他就是被拿來充數的菜。

Are you doing a shift at the chocolate factory?

你是巧克力製作工廠的工人嗎？

- You're right, you're right.

-你說的對，你說的很對！

Am I like the strawberry? Am I the strawberry not the cantaloupe?- Yes, you are the strawberry.

我是不是草莓？我是草莓，不是哈密瓜，對不對？ -沒錯，你就是草莓！

You are the only berry in a salad.

你是沙拉裡面最珍貴的莓果。

You are expensive, and you are a farmer's market berry.

你是耀眼的，你是來自農夫市集的珍貴莓果！

- Okay, bye.

-好的，先告辭了。

- Hey Beetlejuice, it's not Halloween.

-這位陰間大法師，現在可不是萬聖節喔！

(sighs)

（嘆氣）

- I'm a berry! Mother F-er!

-我是珍貴的莓果！不要臉的傢伙！

(whining)

（哀嚎）

(hip hop music)

（嘻哈音樂）

(mumbled chatter)

（旁人交頭接耳）

- [Girl] Who's that?

-（女聲）她是誰啊？

- [Girl] Do you see that girl over there?

-（女聲）你看到那邊那個女生嗎？

- [Guy] What a weirdo.

-（男聲）好怪哦！

(hip hop music)

（嘻哈音樂）

- [Girl] Oh my God, both of them?

-（女聲）天哪！一個就算了，還兩個一起來？

(chuckles)

（暗自發笑）

- Are you being weird again?

-你是不是又起肖了？

(mumbled mocking)

（含糊地嘲弄著對方）

Are you being weird again?

-你是不是又起肖了？

- Nanananana.

-吶吶吶吶吶～

(flicking tongue)

（吐舌）

My name is Reese with her.

我叫 Reese 和她的

(growling)

（咆哮）

Look at me, I'm the perfect blend of chocolate and peanut butter.

看看我，我就像巧克力混合花生醬一樣完美。

- You can't get with this.

-賭你一定做不到！

(moaning)

（嗚咽）

I just have so much work to get done today.

我今天超忙！

- Kevin and I got in a fight.

-我和凱文吵架了。

- Okay. Tell me everything.

-來，告訴我發生了什麼事。-

(whining)

（哀嚎）

- Can you proofread this text to Kevin for me?

-你可以幫我校對一下要傳給凱文的簡訊嗎？

(scoffs)

（嗤之以鼻）

Hey Reese, can you see my underwear?

嘿 Reese，你看得到我的內褲嗎？

- Yes. - Ugh.

-看得到。

- I think it's a little harsh.

-我覺得用詞有點太強烈。

- Really?

-是嗎？

- Yeah. - What?

-對啊。-什麼？

- I mean, maybe like die isn't the best choice of words.

-我的意思是，用死這個字可能不太妥當。

- Should I do deceased?

-或者我改為去世？

What about now?

現在呢？

- Yes. - Ugh!

-還是看到了。-噢！

Should I put a period?

要下句號嗎？

- Yeah period-- - Die period?

-要。-死，再下一個句號這樣？

- It's more professional. - That sounds smarter.

-看起來專業點。-看起來整齊點。

- I mean he is your boss.

-我的意思是，他是你老闆。

- Okay, what about now?

-好，那現在呢？

- Yes. - What?

-還是看到了。什麼？！

- I told you to stop buying stuff off Instagram ads.

-我警告過你別買 IG 廣告上的東西了吧？

- But the algorithm knows me so well!

-但演算法真的很懂我！

(camera clicks)

（按下快門）

Oh that's good.

好棒！

- [Man] Yeah, I like if you want I could show you my lightsaber collection, it's actually pretty impressive.

-（男聲）對啊，如果你感興趣，我可以帶你看看我收藏的光劍系列，你會發現其實還蠻厲害的。

I just can't let you touch any of them 'cause they're in mint condition, so.

不過你不能碰它們，因為它們就跟新的一樣，所以。

- Oh my God, I'm so sorry to interrupt but can you help me for a second?

-天哪！很抱歉打斷你們，但你可以幫我一個忙嗎？

Yeah, I have explosive diarrhea, I need your help.

我的肚子超痛，我需要你的幫忙。

Sorry, yeah, we'll be right back.

抱歉，我們馬上回來！

Can you just, yeah sorry!

拜託你，抱歉！

(phone rings)

（電話響起）

- Oh my God, how is it going?

-天哪！進度如何？

- Oh my God, it's going so good. He is so hot.

-天哪！一切都很順利！他有夠帥的！

Honestly I might spend the night with him tonight.

老實說，我今晚可能會跟他過夜。

(phone beeps)

（電話嗶嗶作響）

- Hi Aunty!

-阿姨，你好嗎？

- Hello Reese, where is Lilly?

-Reese 你好啊！Lilly 人呢？

- You know what, she is in the washroom and she might have to stay over tonight,

-她在廁所。然後，她今晚可能會在我這裡過夜。

because we are studying...our lines, for the show.

因為我們在對表演的對白。

On the count of one--

我數到一

(screaming)

（尖叫）

- One, two, three.

-一、二、三。

(camera clicks)

（按下快門）

One more.

再來一張。

Just do it, just do it.

撕吧！你撕吧！

- One.

-一。

(screaming)

（尖叫）

Seriously, you guys are perfect for each other.

認真的，你們兩個超登對！

I have never seen her this happy,

我從來沒見過她這麼快樂。

I'm so happy for you both. - He is the best, thank you.

我真為你們兩個感到開心。他最棒了，謝謝你。

Should we go do your thing, babe?

寶貝，我們是不是該去處理你的事情？

- Yeah, let's go. - Let's go, okay.

-對啊，我們走吧。-走吧。

- Oh, just a second.

-噢！等等。

Yeah, listen and listen good. If you hurt her, I will find you.

對了，你聽清楚。要是你敢傷害她，我無論如何都會找到你。

I will key your car, I will hack your Venmo. Do you hear me?

我會刮花你的愛車，駭進你的 Venmo 行動支付，聽到了嗎？

Oh yeah, let it out.

對！都發洩出來。

(moaning)

（嗚咽）

- I'm sorry! (whines)

-對不起！（哀嚎）

- It's okay, it's okay.

-沒事了，沒事了。

Just let it out of your body.

發洩出來就對了。

- Are you mad?

-你生氣了嗎？

- No, I'm not mad.

-我沒有生氣。

But also, you're a great guy and I hope it works.

-當然，你是個很棒的男生，我也希望看到你們兩個開花結果。

- Thank you.

-感謝。

- Okay, perfect.

-好了，完美。

But I will kill you.

但我絕對會殺死你。

Not mad!

我沒有生氣！

Yes this is Mrs. Witherspoon.

對，我是 Witherspoon 本人。

Yes, I am Lilly Singh's professional reference.

沒錯，我是 Lilly Singh 的推薦人。

- Ugh, can't find my phone!

-哎呀！我找不到我的手機！

- You know, she's very organized.

-她是個有條理的人。

- I hate my life!

-我好討厭我的生活！

- And she has a great attitude.

-她的態度很好。

- I paid like $90 for that Popsocket!

-那個泡泡騷很貴耶！90 塊錢耶！

- You what she is, good with money.

你知道嗎？她的理財能力也很強。

(screaming)

（尖叫）

No, that's my neighbor.

不，那是我的鄰居。

- Are you mad?

-你生氣了嗎？

- I'm not mad.

-我沒有生氣。

- Don't be mad.

-不要生氣。

- I'm not mad!

-我沒有生氣！

Hey! - Bye bye, I'm running late.

嘿！掰掰，我快遲到了。

- Okay, have fun on your date.

-好，約會愉快。

- Yeah, thank you.

-謝啦。

- Oh, come back here.

-等等，回來。

Okay, you're a little stinky.

你有點臭。

- Thank you.

-感謝。

(gagging) Oh my gosh, honey.

（嘔吐）我的天哪，寶貝。

Did you have seafood?

你是不是吃了海鮮？

(screaming)

（尖叫）

Okay, do you still want me to do the bikini, honey?

那你還要我幫你做比基尼除毛嗎？

- No!

-不要！

- Got it.

-收到！

- God no! No!

-拜託不要！不要！

Hey thank you so much for watching this video with...- Reese!

感謝你們收看我和 Reese 的合作影片。-

- She's amazing, I'm obsessed.

-她很棒！我深深為她著迷。

If you wanna check out her YouTube channel, it is down below, do it right now!

如果想觀看 Reese 的影片，我把資訊放在下面，影片看起來！

My last collaboration's over there.

我上一個合作影片在那裡。

Behind the scenes vlog channel right there.

影片花絮在這裡。

Make sure you subscribe to this channel 'cause we makin' videos!

要記得訂閱我的頻道，因為我們會繼續製作更多精彩的影片給你！

One love Lilly, that is a wrap, and zoop!

影片到此結束，Lilly 跟你說掰掰！

We're like twins.

我們好像雙胞胎。

- That's really impressive.

-這真的很讚。