Today I'm going to show you how to make a lovely summer salad from some possessed vegetables.

今天，我要教各位如何用一些著魔的水果，來做一碗美味的夏日沙拉。

Just so you can see the subtle differences for yourselves.

讓你們看看兩種水果之間的微小差異。

This is your average cucumber, and this is a cucumber I picked up the last time I crossed over into the fourth dimension of darkness.

這根是常見的小黃瓜，而這根是我上次去暗黑第四象限所採的小黃瓜。

So, let's prepare it for our salad!

那就開始準備沙拉吧！

First, you'll need to remove the thorns.

首先，要移除上面的刺。

I would recommend using a pair of pliers for this.

這裡我建議用鉗子來拔。

You need to be very careful with the thorns, as they contain a venom that can bring on a chesty cough and instant insanity.

這裡得非常小心，因為這些刺含有劇毒，會讓人不斷咳嗽且馬上發瘋。

So, next, create two incisions along the length of the vegetable like so and remove this segment and set it aside.

下一步，在兩側留下切口，移除上部並移置旁邊。

You should now be able to see the spine running along the length of your cucumber.

現在應該就能看到小黃瓜裡的脊椎。

This should come out fairly easily with the help of a teaspoon handle or similar shaped object.

用湯匙或類似的物品，應該就能輕鬆取出。

This could be a nice little treat for your dog!

取出的東西可以當狗狗的點心！

Greens are good for you, Rover.

Rover，多吃蔬菜對身體好！

Then, simply cut up the cucumber and add it to your salad bowl.

然後將小黃瓜切塊，並放到沙拉碗裡。

Next we have the gem lettuce.

下一個材料是寶石萵苣。

Or (foreigner language) to give it its native name.

或它原本的名字是 (外語)。

Now, be careful removing the outer leaves, as the teeth are sharp.

然後，小心地移除外面的葉子，因為裡頭的牙齒很鋒利！

Very sharp.

非常鋒利。

And once you've found the mouth, hold the lettuce upright and drop a gummy bear into it.

找到它的嘴巴後，把萵苣立好，再放入一個熊熊軟糖。

As he eats it, the goodness in the gummy bear is going to neutralise that evil taste you'd otherwise be left with.

當它吃的時候，熊熊軟糖的善會中和萵苣的惡。

Whilst he's occupied chewing, just go ahead and roughly chop him up.

當它忙著咬熊熊軟糖時，就把它給切了。

This can also then just be added to our bowl.

然後就把它們放到碗裡。

Next we have our peppers.

下一個材料是彩椒。

I tend to opt for red peppers as I prefer the taste and yellow peppers from this realm also tend to be full of human teeth.

我通常會選擇紅椒，因為我較喜歡它的味道，而且這個王國的黃椒裡頭通常有許多人齒。

So take your red pepper and cut it open.

所以，拿起紅椒，切開它。

As you can see, we're going to need to remove this pepper's heart of darkness.

如你所見，我們現在要拿出這個紅椒的暗黑之心。

If you just go ahead and open up the ribcage with your fingers, then you can pull out the heart and set it aside.

用手指打開它的肋骨，就可以把心臟取出並移置一旁。

The ribcage can then be taken out as well, but I tend to leave them in to add to the overall crunch.

也可以把肋骨取出，但我會留著來增添整個沙拉的酥脆口感。

Your call!

你決定！

Now our salad is assembled, I would recommend dressing it in a vinaigrette with a holy water base.

沙拉已經做好了，我建議用聖水基底的醋來調味它。

Or at least get a priest to bless your balsamic.

或至少請祭司淨化你的紅酒醋。

This really just helps to ensure the salad won't try and possess you or come alive and eat your eyes.

這可以確保沙拉不會試著要附你的身，或是直接活過來吃掉你的眼睛。

And lastly, sprinkle a few cubes of feta cheese over the top.

最後，在上頭撒上一些菲達起司。

And you're finished!

這樣就完成了！

A lovely summery salad made from...

一碗美味的夏日沙拉...

Oh my god. It got me.

天啊！它在我身上！

Hey, thanks for watching my video!

嘿，感謝收看！

If you enjoyed it, why not give it a like, 'cause it all really helps!

喜歡的話，記得按讚，這可以幫助我成長！

If you wanna subscribe to my channel, just go ahead and press the 'subscribe here' area on the screen.

如果想訂閱我的頻道，點擊右上角的「在此訂閱」。

Now, I need to find a priest!

現在呢，我得去找個祭司！