Name: 你是哪種？生病時的 16 種人格 (16 Personalities on a Sick Day)
Uploaded: 2020-01-16T21:01:10.000Z
Duration: 3 min 12 s

Can you please come over, and bring the Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup?

妳可以來看我嗎？順便幫買個 Campbell 的雞湯麵？

I take a multi-vitamin every day, I get enough sleep every night, I wash my hands religiously.

我明明每天吃綜合維他命、早睡早起，也有規律洗手。

According to WebMD, I either have a cold, or death will be upon me at any moment.

根據網路醫生網，我不是感冒，就是死到臨頭了。

I don't need to go to a doctor for a cold, all right?

區區感冒，我不用去看醫生，好嗎？

I've got my old fashioned remedy right here.

Just like my Aunt Hilda used to give me when I was a toddler.

就像 Hilda 阿姨從小給我的那樣。

They are gonna fall apart at the office if I don't show up!

我不在的話，辦公室的大家會分崩離析的！

Now, question for you, how much of this is too much?

現在，回答我，這個藥吃多少會過量？

Because I think I'm starting to reach that point!

I'm not skipping my workout just 'cause of a little cold.

我才不會因為一點小感冒就不去健身。

I'm not gonna be coming in today, I really don't feel well.

我今天不會到，我身體不太舒服。

I've got a headache, fever, chills, and I threw up right before I made this phone call, but that was just because I was nervous about calling in sick.

我頭痛、發燒還畏寒，就在打這通電話之前我還吐了。但那只是因為我對於打電話請假感到緊張。

對你們這些辦公室的爛人們感到感冒。

Actually no, I have diarrhea, so I'm not coming in today.

沒啦，我拉肚子，我今天不會去上班。

A sick day is a perfect opportunity to catch up on some reading.

生病修養的日子，就是一個閱讀的大好機會。

Or to just watch YouTube for eight hours.

But I gotta get up and get that video game controller, or this will have been a wasted sick day.

但我得起身，拿到那電動手把，不然今天這個病假就浪費了。

Time to regain my strength the only way I know how... arguing with fools online.

是時間恢復體力了，用我熟知的方法。那就是和網上的白痴爭論。

你要讓一點小感冒停下你的腳步？

All I have done today is rest and take my medication at the appropriate times.

我今天唯一做的事情就是休息，還有在適當的時間吃藥。

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你是哪種？生病時的 16 種人格 (16 Personalities on a Sick Day)

literally

stuff

opportunity

specifically