I think it's a tough time, and here's why.

我覺得這個時代很艱困，我告訴你為什麼。

I was writing on a TV show last year.

我去年在為一齣電視節目寫腳本。

At the end of the show, when it was cancelled, I checked my bank balance on my phone.

節目結束的時候，它被取消了，我在手機上查看我的銀行存款餘額。

And on my phone I saw that I had 5,421 dollars.

然後手機顯示餘額為 5,421 美元。

Not to brag.

我不是在炫耀喔。

And this is how little I know about being an adult.

而凸顯了我對身為成年的了解有多不足。

I saw the bank balance on the screen and I thought to myself - with no irony.

我看著螢幕上的存款餘額，然後心想，完全沒有諷刺意味。

I should buy a house.

我應該買一棟房子。

Not a big house, one of those small 5,000 dollar houses.

不需要是大房子，買價值5,000 美金的小房子就好。

How is any millennial ever gonna own a home?

千禧世代怎麼可能買得起房子？

How is any young person ever gonna own a home?

年輕人怎麼可能擁有自己的房子？

It seems impossible, and it's made me hate old people.

這似乎完全不可能，而這讓我痛恨老人。

I see a few of you in here tonight.

我看到今晚有幾個老人在場。

I hate you.

我恨你們。

'Cause every old person in a city like London or L.A. or New York is the same.

因為每一個住在像倫敦或洛杉磯或紐約這些城市裡的老人都一樣。

Well they're like, my house is worth two million pounds, but when I bought it in 1981 I paid 11 raspberries for it.

他們常這樣說，我的房子價值 200 萬英鎊，但是我 1981 年買的時候只花了等同於 11 顆覆盆子的錢。

And every young person's like, I have nine roommates!

但常聽年輕人說，我有 9 個室友！

One has a dog with rabies, we'd love to get him out but his name is on the lease!

其中一個還養了有狂犬病的狗，我們很想把牠弄出去，但牠的名字在租約上！

And every old person's like, I'm a librarian with a country home in the Cotswolds.

然後老年人會說，我是位圖書館員，我在科茲窩有間鄉村小屋。

Go fuck yourself!

去你媽的！

And then there's criticism of young people like, young people live on their phones.

然後還有人批評年輕人說，年輕人都活在手機裡。

It's the only place we can afford to live.

因為那是我們唯一負擔得起的地方。

I can't enjoy certain television shows.

我不能好好享受某些電視節目。

Like I was watching Spongebob Squarepants with a younger cousin - two years younger, we love the classics.

就像我在跟我堂弟一起看《海綿寶寶》的時候 - 他只小我 2 歲，我們都喜歡經典。

And I'm getting angrier and angrier 'cause I'm watching Spongebob and I'm thinking... this sponge owns his own pineapple?

結果我越看越生氣，因為我邊看海綿寶寶邊想...這塊海綿有自己的鳳梨屋！

This sponge owns a two-story pineapple?

這塊海綿擁有兩層樓的鳳梨屋？

Oh, he must be a banker.

噢，他一定是銀行家。

He's not a banker, he works in a fast food restaurant!

但他不是銀行家，他在速食店上班！

And his neighbor works with him in the restaurant lives in an Easter Island head.

而且他的鄰居，跟他在同一間餐廳上班，住在復活節島人像裡。

That's a listed building, there's no way he can afford that.

那是列入保護的建築，他不可能負擔得起。