Clickbait

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I'm not quitting YouTube

我沒有要退出youtube

Well, I didn't exactly say that I was going to quit, but you know having the words "quit" and "YouTube" in the title, It's kinda, you know, it's kinda clickbaity.

嗯...我沒有明確的表示我要退出 但是只要有“退出” 跟“youtube“ 兩個詞在標題上就很容易把你們騙進來

But it's not, I promise

但是我保證我不是在騙你們

And at the same time, it's still not completely untrue. Let me explain

但是同時也有點算是 讓我解釋

The truth is guys, over the past year or so

事實是，經過了這些年

I umm...

我...

I... uhm

我...嗯...

Sorry, it's just umm...heh

抱歉....只是...

It's just really hard for me to gather my thoughts

我只是很難釐清思緒

When there's loud cheesy, emotional music just playing right in my ear (Very annoyed)

當很大聲的老套感傷音樂在我耳邊放

*Greg holding radio playing music*

我正說到，我沒有真的要退出youtube

*Ryan shakes head as Greg backs away*

但是我的確打算做些改變

*Ryan Sighs*

讓我從頭說起

As I was saying, I already told you guys I'm not quitting

這些年下來，我真的有考慮過退出youtube

But, there are gonna be a lot of changes and

看，這就是為什麼

Let me just- Let me just start from the top so that I can explain

我沒辦法有一個和你們真心交流的對話

Over the past year, I really have been considering quitting Youtube

因為我不斷被突來的東西打斷

*Dramatic music starts* And-

這是我的錯....還有他！

*Ryan knocks radio out of Greg's hand*

一直把氣氛搞得很感傷，這才不感傷！

*Greg walks away*

各位，玩笑話先不說了 讓我們認真的討論

See this is why I can't have a serious

我並不是在說我不想做youtube了 相信我

Heart to Heart talk with you guys because I

我了解Youtube一直提供我很好的機會

I keep cutting away to random things

但是

It's my own fault... And him!

我不再享受做影片了

Tryna make this all sad. It's not sad

我知道這有點嚴重

Look guys, all jokes aside. Let me just be real for a second

我不再“喜歡我的工作”

It's not that I don't want to do Youtube and I- trust me

我知道大家應該要喜歡他們的工作

I do realize how great of an opportunity it has been

但是要創作出好的影片和原創內容

For me and.. and still is

你必須要享受工作的過程，至少我是這麼認為的

But I just wasn't having fun making Youtube videos anymore

我不是像其他youtubers一樣像個機器人，我需要靈感

And I know it's a first world problem, OK

這也是爲什麼我去年的影片數那麼少

I'm not "having fun at my job"

我花了近乎一整年才發現

I know everybody is supposed to have fun at their job

我遇到了很多youtubers都會遇到的問題

But in order to create really good content and unique things

到底要創作那些大家喜歡看的影片或者是

You have to have fun doing it, at least that's what I believe in

做我真正想做的影片

I'm not a machine like other Youtubers, I need inspiration

即使那表示我要做那些你們並不那麼感興趣

I mean that's one of the reasons why I hardly posted last year

不了解或是可能會冒犯人的影片

And it took me pretty much the entire year to realize why

那些我剛開始當youtuber時做的影片

I found myself falling into the typical Youtuber trap of

當我還不擔心讓我的觀眾失望，冒犯人或得到很少的觀看次數

Trying to create videos that work versus trying to create videos that

我到去年年底才發覺我在強迫自己做我不想要做的影片

Well...You're inspired to make- things that you wanna make

我放棄做那些我真的想做的題材，因為我太害怕了

Even if that means creating videos that I know for a fact that a lot of you guys probably not like

但我並不是在說去年所有的影片

Or understand or most likely be offensive

事實上，我去年年底開始發布一些我真的想做的影片 而我也體驗到了後果

The kind of videos I used to make when I first started Youtube

點閱率下滑，點不喜歡的人增加 但是說實話我感覺比較好了因為我做了我一直以來想說的事

You know, when I wasn't afraid of disappointing people or being too offensive or getting less views or whatever

我相信有看的人應該知道我在說哪支影片

I just finally realized at the end of last year that I was forcing myself to create videos that I don't even feel like making

總而言之，當我去年年底發現我不再享受做影片時

And I was holding so many different things that I really wanted to make, I just was too afraid to do it

我察覺我得做出改變並下決定

And by the way, I'm not talking ALL the videos last year

我是要改做別的並退出youtube

In fact, towards the end of last year, I started posting some of the videos that I wanted to post and.. I felt the consequences

還是做出改變並重拾我對做youtube影片的興趣

I mean I saw the views drop, the dislikes go up but honestly I felt better because I did something I've been wanting to say

開始發佈我想發的影片

I'm sure you can figure out which videos I'm talking about

做我做的節目，儘管伴隨而來的負面後果

But anyway, once I made the realization that I wasn't having fun anymore

那些不喜歡，惡意評論，下滑的訂閱數

Um, towards the end of last year, I knew that I had to do something about it and make a decision

我只是認為這些事我必須做的，因為這是我做youtube的初衷

Either I need to just do something and quit Youtube entirely

我要做的僅是停止瞻前顧後，不再顧慮那些不重要的瑣事

Or I need to make changes and make Youtube fun for me again

不要再害怕失敗並抓住機會嘗試新事物

And just start posting you know, whatever the hell I want wanna post and do the shows

做那些我幾年前不會嘗試的事

That I wanna do, despite all the negative consequences that come with it

如果那些代價能換回我對做影片的興趣

The dislikes, and the bad comments, and the you know the losing subs or whatever it is

那麼我打算這麼做 這是我的決定

Just, I just have to do those things because that's the whole reason why I started Youtube in the first place.

...直到我發現直接退出youtube並另找出路會讓事情變得多簡單

All I have to do is stop caring. Stop caring about the things that don't matter.

所以我決定這麼做

Stop being afraid of failure and..and chances take chances and try new things.

我在假期中認真的考慮

Things that I would've never done you know, in the previous years

如果我要退出youtube，我不能就此無所事事

But if that's what it takes to allow me to continue to do this and have fun doing it

我必須想我還能做什麼其他的事

Then, I'm just gonna do it. That's what I've decided...

當然，我的第一直覺就是從事我一直在做的事--娛樂大眾

Until I realized just how much easier it would be to just quit Youtube entirely and just do something else

我一直想當個演員，而現在正是亞裔演員最好的時機

So I went with that

推廣亞裔的風潮正興

*SLAM*

沒錯 亞裔男演員現在可搶手呢

*Music plays*

相信我，我知道好萊塢在找什麼樣的人

So over the holidays I really thought about it.

嗨 嗯 我是Ryan Higa 我來試鏡Glen這個角色

If I were to quit Youtube, I can't just do nothing.

ok 你準備好就可以開始囉

I had to think what else could I possibly do?

ok

And obviously my first instinct was to do something similar to what I already do...Entertainment

Maggie 妳答應我

I always wanted to be an actor and right now, specifically for asians, it's a great time to be an actor

如果我沒能活著從藥房回來，你要堅強的活下去，為了我們的孩子

For the whole Asian movement going on, you know, spreading diversity and whatnot.

因為 嗯...

Yeah, asian actors are kind of a hot commodity right now.

呃 不好意思 你在幹嘛？

Hmm, Trust me, I know what Hollywood's looking for.

演戲？

Ryan: "Hi. I'm uhh Ryan Higa, and I'm here to the audition for the role of Glen"

嗯 不好意思 你的口音是怎麼回事？

Gina: "OK, whenever you're ready"

亞洲口音啊 配合角色

Ryan: *Breathes In* *Coughs* *Whispers "Ok"*

我不確定你有沒有拿到筆記 但是Glen是一個在喬治亞州出生並長大的亞裔美國人角色

Glen: "Maggie...(In Asian and Country accent) I need you to promise me...

我很抱歉 因為我看到這是一部出現在好萊塢電影裡的亞洲人角色 所以就擅自做假設了

That if I don't come back from the Pharmacy, I need you to be strong, Live on and do it for the little ones...

沒關係 你再重新來一次吧

Because if an un-" *Interrupted*

好

Paco: "Uhh..Excuse you, what are you doing?"

記得他是在喬治亞州出生長大的

Ryan: "Acting?"

喬治亞州 了解

Will: "Yeah and I'm sorry, What kind of accent were you doing?"

Maggie 我來自喬治亞州 妳要--

Ryan: "Asian.. Like the race"

我覺得到這邊就好了 對吧

Paco: "I'm not sure if you got the notes but Glen is an Asian-American character who was born and raised and raised in Georgia".

不 等等 拜託 我能做得更好

Ryan: "I'm so sorry, I just assumed because this is Hollywood and I saw Asian written on the character list uh"

只要給我些筆記或什麼

Gina: "That's OK, we'll just take it from the top again".

好吧 再給你一次機會 不要再帶口音了

Ryan: "OK"

但是他說這個角色有一點點口音...

Paco: "And remember that he's born and raised in Georgia".

對 南方的口音 因為他是出生長大在喬治亞州

Ryan: "Georgia. Got it. OK".

南方口音！哦我知道怎麼用南方口音說

Glen: "Maggie... (In accent) I am from Georgia. And I need you-" *Interrupted*

最後一次 從頭開始

Paco: "Alright I think we're good here, right?"

好

Ryan: No- what, no, no, no, please I uh, I can do better.

Maggie

Ryan: Just give me notes or anything.

我要妳向我保證 如果我沒從藥房回來

Paco: Fine, one more time from the top but just lose the accent.

我要妳...

Ryan: But the character, it says he has a slight accent-

最後一幕 我改編了那首歌 你們了解吧

Paco: Yeah, a southern one, because he's born and raised in Gorigeia.

我也想過做些非娛樂產業相關的工作

Ryan: Southern! oh my god... Im- I can do southern! I can do southern.

我的意思是 我也不排斥正常上班族的工作

Gina: Last time, from the top.

或者是兼職工作

Ryan: Okay. *Breathes in*

我也許沒辦法在一開始就拿到最好的工作 畢竟我大學輟學

Glen: Maggie *In southern accent*

但是 至少一個普通的工作？

I need you to promise me. I don't come back from that pharmacy,

那種只需要基本技能的工作

I need you...

我有一大堆很棒的基本技能

*Music drops* To bing bong, ling long, do it for the ding dong, ya ching chong.

我可以wait(weight) tables 我也做過這樣的工作

Ryan: Da da da da dong dong dong dong dong

嗯 只是以防突然有風

Ryan: End scene. *Breathes in, breathes out* I um, improved the song at the end I'm sure you guys can get the rights...

呃 你們還有需要什麼嗎

I even thought about some other jobs that are not entertainment related.

呃 我好像還沒幫你們點餐 對吧？

I mean, I never been opposed to a regular 9-5 job

我會回來

Or a part time job even.

我會回來！

I probably wont initially get the best job, because I dropped out of college.

你知道的 “我會回來” 那個市長

But, like a normal job, ya know?

你們知道嗎？他的名字叫啥

One that requires basic skill, I mean,

啊！巨石強森！我會回來！

I have a ton of amazing advanced basic skills.

我也可以當保姆

I could wait tables, I mean, I've done that before.

我從小拉拔我的狗長大到現在

Just in case it gets, ya know a little windier out here,

基本上這是一樣的事情

Um, anything else you guys need?

如果沒人想雇用我

And you- you know what? I didn't take your order yet huh?

我可以當Uber駕駛

Ill be back!

自己當自己的老闆

Ill be back! *In deep voice*

我其實覺得我應該會是一個完美的uber司機

you know- whats that-? List me uh uh "I'll be back! The governor!

看我就知道了 我是亞洲人

Ya know? Whats his name?

你知道他們怎麼說亞洲人司機吧

Ah! Dwayne Johnson! ya, I'll be back, I'll be back!

太棒了 亞洲人司機

I could be a babysitter,

沒錯！快把安全帶繫好

I mean, I've raised my dogs since they were puppies.

因為我們準備要出發了！

It's basically the same thing.

嗚呼！

*Laughs*

如果以上那些事都沒辦法實現的話

*Baby cries*

還有最後一件我可以嘗試的事

*Sprays squirt bottle*

相信我 這真的是最後一件事我想到我還能做的事了

*baby stops crying*

我想過回去念大學 拿到我的核醫學學位

And if no one wants to hire me,

也就是我在輟學前一直以來的計畫

Uber driving.

但是現在我已經是一個不同的人了 ok?

I'll be my own boss.

距離我在大學的時期已經過了整整十年

I actually think I'd be an amazing Uber driver.

有了這些我在youtube上累積的知識

I mean look at me, Im Asian.

現在大學對我來說簡直是小事一樁

You know what they say about Asian drivers right?

嘿 嗯 你在找我？

*Grunt*

對 Ryan 這個理應是你的專題論文

Great.. Asian driver...

但你開頭卻寫“嘿 大家”

Yup! Better buckle up!

對 我知道我的開頭有點粗糙

*Seatbelt click*

但是我的論文是累積下去的 後面會越來越好

Cause we're going drifting!

在結尾之前 還挺有說服力的

WOOHOOO

“謝謝你的觀看 如果你喜歡的話 請留言

And if none of the other things work out.

並訂閱如果你想看到更多的論文“

The very last thing I thought about doing,

其他論文快要完成了 所以...

and trust me this is the last thing I could think of.

Ryan 你不會真的認為我會接受這種論文吧

I thought about going back to school, and getting my degree in nuclear medicine.

這個荒謬至極

Which was my original plan before I dropped out

什麼？

But the thing is, I'm a different person now, OK?

首先 你根本沒有用電腦打出來

A whole decade has passed since I've been in college

不僅如此 你還用鉛筆寫

With all the knowledge that I've gained over the years, here on Youtube,

什麼 不是的 我可以改 只要你再給我兩三天

*Scoffs* This time around, college is gonna be like NOTHING

ok 但是我還要告訴你幾次

Ryan: Hey you um, you wanted to see me?

不要用雙關梗在你的論文裡

Roberto: Yes, Ryan... This was supposed to be your final thesis essay...

我真的不記得我有用雙關 如果真的有的話那大概是...

And you started it off with "Hey Guys".

”針對我的主題 我試著證明植物能在只有相機閃光的情況下存活

Ryan: Yes, I know it is um...it's a little rough in the beginning

我想你可以稱之為 “Photosynthesis“ (笑）

But it builds, its a build essay and it gets better like

對 我應該要把“笑“拿掉的

By the conclusion, it's pretty strong

這間大學的學生花幾個月的時間來架構他們的論文

Roberto: With that being said, thank you for reading. If you liked this thesis, please leave an A..

你花了多少時間？最多一小時？

And be sure to subscribe for more essays coming soon

不 不是這樣的好嗎

Ryan: They are.. coming soon. That's--

你知道嗎？ 這簡直...

Roberto: Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.. You can't honestly expect me to accept this, can you? I mean..

就像吃了我的錢的投幣機

This is ridiculous

什麼？

Ryan: What?

這不邏輯 僅僅是論文的結尾就花了我超過一小時

Roberto: First off, you didn't even type it out.

甚至超過

And not only did you not type it out, but you didn't write it in pen, you used pencil

真的嗎？

Ryan: Wha--No that.. I could definitely, I could convert that if you give me like 2 or 3 days

真的！

Roberto: OK, OK and, and how many times have i told you..

這些花了你一小時？ 才四句話就花了你四小時？

I do NOT want you using puns in your essays?

不是 是背面的結尾

Ryan: I honestly do not recall writing a single one in there like if, if there IS a pun, it's probably--

什麼背面？

Roberto: For my thesis, I would prove that a plant can survive off a flash of a camera

在最後面

Guess you could call it, My Photosyn-thesis. LOL?

TeeHee

Ryan: Yeah, I should've took the "LOL" out

這個才是...

Roberto: Alright, Students at this University spend months..MONTHS working on their essays and

滾出去！

You spent what? Maybe an hour, tops?

好吧

Ryan: Okay, no? Okay, that is.. that part is untrue, okay?

總而言之，我想說的是我會在這個頻道上做一些改變

You know what that is? That is.. just..a..

我知道很多人支持且尊重我因為我一直保有同樣的風格這些年下來

That is a soda machine that doesn't take coins.

但是這是我必須為自己做的事

Roberto: What?

這並不代表我再也不會做你們習慣看的那些影片

Ryan: It's nonsense, because the ending statement alone took me over an hour

只是在那些需要較長製作時間

And even more than that.

有些花上幾個禮拜 一兩個月的影片中

Roberto: Really?

我也會po些其他的東西

Ryan: Yeah!

那些我曾經太害怕而沒敢做的影片

Roberto: This, this took you an hour? 4 sentences, 4 sentences.. that.. that took an hour?

像是一些沒有諷刺的個人觀點

Ryan: The ending statement, that's the conclusion, the back of that

或是一些沒有短劇的諷刺

Roberto: The back of what?

做些讓我和朋友捧腹大笑的荒謬歌曲

Ryan: At the end

雖然你們可能不覺得有趣

Ryan: TeeHee

還有我一直想做的podcast

Ryan: It's supposed to--

我知道這不是很特別 幾乎每個youtuber都有做

Roberto: GET OUT!

我們也有做過一些 但我真的很喜歡

Ryan: Okay, um

和別人有更深一層的討論

Overall, what I'm trying to say is, there's gonna be changes on this channel

不僅僅是引人發笑的喜劇 而是那些真的對世界重要的事

And I know that a lot of you praise me and respect me for not changing my content

你們將會看到我新的一面

Over the years, but this is something I have to do for myself

你們會發現我是一個認真的人 我們會討論重要的議題

Now that doesn't mean I'm gonna stop posting the videos that you guys are used to

和大多數男性不同 我不喜歡大胸部

It just means that in between those videos, because you know, those videos take

你們覺得忍者真的存在嗎？

A lot longer to make, sometimes a couple weeks to a month, sometimes 2 months,

你不喜歡短裙 你只喜歡吃

I am gonna be posting other things as well.

有生菜和番茄嗎？

The other things that I have been too afraid to post.

新鮮的起... 對 是三明治 就是一個簡單的三明治

Like rants that don't necessarily have skits in them

哦 芥末？

Or skits that don't necessarily have vlogs.

對

Ridiculous songs that we've made that make me and my friends laugh.

什麼樣的芥末？法式芥末？

Probably not you guys

哇 你的眉毛動好快 好厲害

And a podcast that I've been wanting to do

哇 那個真的很深奧

And I know it's not something completely unique, every Youtuber has one now but,

我們開始討論人獸交

We've already done a few and I just love doing them.

我同意

I love being able to just talk about things on a deeper level with people

所有重大到影響世界的話題

And not, not just comedy..Things that actually matter to the world.

'Off the Pill' 的podcast馬上要發佈了

I mean it's a whole other side to me that you're gonna see

總之 我知道很多人會離開因為這些改變