字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 ♪♪ -We're coming up on the 40th anniversary of the first 24-hour news network, so, today, let's celebrate the Peabody Award-winning journalist who's had more impact on the news industry than anyone else. -"Scarface" Al Capone may have built it, and nobody knows what's in it. Some say money. [ Electronic gunfire ] Some say bodies. [Electronic gunfire] Some say it's booby-trapped. [ Electronic gunfire ] It may be Scarface Al Capone's biggest secret, and we'll open it on live television. [ Suspenseful music plays ] -In 1986, Geraldo Rivera changed the course of history. He promised viewers a look at the contents of a vault that might, or might not, have been Al Capone's. -Who knows? I don't. -Geraldo was prepared to knock America's socks off, a task so simple, this was the sponsor. -Brought to you by Nice'n Easy. ♪♪ -After two hours of explosions... -We're gonna blow that wall off. [chuckle] -...and searching... -That may be significant. We don't know. -...all under the expert management of Geraldo... [ Air horn blaring ] ...it was time for the big reveal! [ Drumroll, cymbals clash ] -When we began opening this vault nearly two hours ago, we had no real idea what we'd find inside. As it turns out, we haven't found very much. [ Triumphant music climbs ] -But Geraldo was mistaken. He did find something in Al Capone's vault. [ Ringing ] 30 million viewers watched! Making Geraldo's two hours of content-free TV the highest-rated syndicated special, ever. ♪♪ -[Chuckle] -Like Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, and the creator of the Snuggie, [ Chime ] Geraldo hit upon a game-changing invention that would save the news media effort and money: replace actual news with the possibility of news. And, with that, no-news was born. [ Glass shatters, cash register chimes ] ♪♪ The first step was testing the waters with more prime-time television specials. -What they saw was not from this world. -"Alien Autopsy: Fact or Fiction?" -What we were looking at was a mermaid. -Tonight, we may find a mummy. -Millions of Americans tuned in to watch a fake alien, a fake mermaid, and a real Maury Povich. [ Suspenseful chord strikes ] It was time to send up a no-news trial balloon over on actual news channels... -One of the strangest things in the history of my television career is goin' down. -...with a story that seemed like real news, that actually wasn't. -I was really, really worried. -Say hi to Wolf. His name's Wolf. -Hi! -Hi, guys. -Say hi? [ Suspenseful chord strikes ] -Yeah, who the hell is Wolf? Find out in my new special, "Wolf Blitzer: Fact or Fiction." [ Sultry jazz plays ] No-news was taking off. Its long, slow, tantric burn allowed news networks to kill airtime, reporting that they were simply waiting for news to happen, a move inspired by playwright Samuel Beckett. ♪♪ [ Suspenseful chord strikes ] [ Coins clinking ] But no-news had yet to pass its most daunting task. In our tribal and divisive times, could no-news be the one thing both conservative and liberal networks agree upon? -Donald Trump's tax returns have surfaced. We'll go through it, next. In just a second -- A full tax return for someone like Donald Trump would be a lot longer, but this is all we've got. [ slow-motion ] All we've got. -The big reveal that wasn't. We can only imagine where Rachel Maddow got the idea. [ Buzzer ] -I remember watching it. It was kind of a crazy-genius idea. One very important and lasting lesson: hype. works. [ Suspenseful chords striking ] -There are many hardworking journalists reporting in the Fourth Estate today, but the networks know that it's cheaper and easier to provide 24-hour content that just feels like news. And, since people don't wanna pay to support journalism, no-news now has the opportunity to reign supreme forever. We can only hope that Geraldo finally appreciates just what he found in that vault. [ Suspenseful chord strikes ] [ Cheering and applause ] -Tonight, we are live and finally going to uncover what is hidden inside Al Capone's vault! [ Whistling ] [ Suspenseful chord strikes ] [ Cheering and applause ] [ Upbeat chords striking ]
B1 中級 Andy Borowitz:新聞去哪兒了?| 現在一切都有意義了 (Andy Borowitz: Where Did The News Go? | Now It All Makes Sense) 3 0 林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日 更多分享 分享 收藏 回報 影片單字