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  • (8-bit music and beeps)

  • - [Narrator] How To Be a 90s Gamer.

  • Follow these steps and you too, can be like us.

  • Step one, get a console.

  • - Whoa, Sega Genesis?

  • - Nintendo 64.

  • - We knew how much you wanted

  • a certain handheld gaming system.

  • (boy gasps)

  • - Electronic mini golf?

  • - [Mario] Okey doke.

  • - [Narrator] Accessorize, super scope, laser scope,

  • convenient carrying case, Game Boy printer.

  • (mechanical whirring)

  • And the radically unsuccessful power glove.

  • Learn how to fix any problem.

  • (puck clicks) (dramatic orchestral music)

  • - What happened?

  • - I don't know.

  • - Press the reset button.

  • - It's not working.

  • - Check the cords.

  • - Uh.

  • - Blow in the cartridge.

  • (blowing air)

  • ("Get Ready For This" by 2 Unlimited)

  • (both sigh)

  • - [Narrator] Have a sick gaming sleepover.

  • - I brought my N64, all my games, two guidebooks

  • and a Duo-Tang full of cheat codes.

  • - Cool, but why couldn't we just use my TV?

  • - You're TV's way too small.

  • If we're gonna pull an all-nighter,

  • we can't be straining our eyes.

  • (plastic bang)

  • (grooving 90s music)

  • - [Narrator] Negotiate deals.

  • - Word on the playground is you got a GameShark

  • for your birthday.

  • - Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.

  • - I could offer you a water gun, two finger blades

  • and a pack of Dunkaroos if you can get me a Mew.

  • - Chocolate or vanilla frosting?

  • - Vanilla.

  • - Deal.

  • - [Narrator] Overcome water level anxiety.

  • - You're running out of air.

  • (increasing 8-bit beats)

  • Dude, you're gonna die.

  • Better hurry. (laughs)

  • What the heck are you doing, man?

  • You're so screwed, you're gonna die.

  • Told you. (bubbling bursts)

  • - [Narrator] Argue over the best console.

  • - Hey can you come over this weekend and help me

  • with the water temple?

  • I've been stuck in it for two weeks.

  • - (sighs) Fine.

  • - Are you guys talking about Zelda?

  • N64's for babies.

  • - No, it's not.

  • - Yeah it is, you can't even play Sonic.

  • - Sonic sucks.

  • - What?

  • Socker Boppers Socker Boppers

  • You can sock

  • (knocking taps)

  • - [Narrator] Rent games from the video store.

  • - Hello ma'am, one rental of Duke Nukem please.

  • - You know that's rated M, right?

  • - Oh, uh yeah.

  • - And do you have an adult with you?

  • - Um, actually, I do have adult with me.

  • His name is John A. McDonald.

  • (blowing air)

  • (quiet popping)

  • - I won't tell if you don't.

  • - [Narrator] P1 gets the good controller.

  • - Okay, so I'll use this one and you got a couple choices

  • here, we've got this one that's got a button missing.

  • It's a little broken, might not want to use that one.

  • This one which had a little bit of root beer spilled on it

  • or the one with the Cheeto dust?

  • - Uh, I'll take the Cheeto dust.

  • - [Narrator] Friday nights are for partying.

  • - [Both] Hello, Mrs. Hamilton.

  • - We're here for the party.

  • - What party?

  • - It's a lan party.

  • (crickets singing)

  • Can we just come in, this monitor is really heavy.

  • - [Narrator] Run up your parent's electricity bill.

  • - Guys, I'm getting zergling rushed over here.

  • - No problem, sending marines.

  • - Man, zerg's so cheap.

  • - Speak for yourself, Protoss.

  • (gladiator roars)

  • (buzzing electric)

  • (all scream)

  • We must have blown a fuse.

  • - [Son] Oh god, my Mountain Dew.

  • - [Mom] Are you boys okay?

  • - [Son] Get out of here, Mom, you're embarrassing me.

  • - [Narrator] Stay up past your bedtime.

  • (soft footsteps)

  • - Now for a few rounds of Command and Conquer.

  • (computer clicks)

  • (loud internet screeching)

  • - Mike, you should be in bed.

  • - Mom, but I'm just, I wasn't doing, oh mom.

  • - No buts, straight to bed, it's so late.

  • - [Narrator] Discover girls.

  • - Guys, do you want to see the hottest girl ever.

  • (8-bit ascending beeps)

  • - Does Articuno have a catch rate of three?

  • - Look, mm.

  • - Whoa, she's so hot.

  • Dude, how did you rent this?

  • - (laughs) My mom left her purse open.

  • - [Boy] Do you think her boobs are real or fake?

  • - [Narrator] And finally, win at all costs.

  • - Ugh, I hate tug of war.

  • - It's tug o'war not tug of war.

  • - What does the O stand for?

  • - Of, duh.

  • (bongos drumming)

  • - [Video Game] Start.

  • (plastic crunching)

  • (boys moan and scream)

  • - And that's how I got this scar.

  • - [All] Ew.

  • - Sounds like the 90s sucked, grandpa.

  • All those games sounded so boring and you didn't even

  • have wifi, sounds to me like you're living in the dark ages.

  • Socker Boppers Socker Boppers

  • You can sock all day

  • - [Narrator] What did we miss?

  • Leave a comment in the comment section below.

  • (grooving saxophone)

(8-bit music and beeps)

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B1 中級 美國腔

如何做一個90年代的玩家 (How to be a 90's Gamer)

  • 9 0
    ayane 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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