Ross?

羅斯？

Ross?

羅斯？

Okay, whenever you're ready.

好，你準備好了再跟我說。

And you're the father by the way.

順帶一提，你是孩子的爸爸。

But you get...

但你應該知道的... 。

Can I get you some water?

你要喝點水嗎？

No, I'm good, I'm good.

不用，我很好。

Ross, there is no pressure on you, okay?

羅斯，我不會給你任何壓力，好嗎？

I mean you can be as involved as you want.

你想要參與多少就參與多少。

Yeah.

嗯... 。

I, Uh...

我... 呃... 。

I'm just...

我只是... 。

I don't know. I don't understand.

我不知道，我不了解。

Um...

呃...。

How this happened?

這怎麼會發生？

We, we used a condom.

我們、我們有用保險套啊！

I know. I know but, you know, condoms only work like 97 percent of the time.

我知道，但，你知道的，保險套只有百分之九十七有效。

Wha- What?

什、什麼？

What?!

什麼？！

Well, they should put that on the box!

他們應該寫在盒子上呀！

They do.

他們有。

No they don't!

他們才沒有！

Well, they should put it in huge block letters!

他們應該大大地框起來！

Okay, Ross come on let's just forget about the condoms.

好，羅斯我們先不要管保險套。

Oh well, I may as well have.

噢，對，根本不用保險套。

Listen, you know what?

聽著，你知道嗎？

I was really freaked out too when...

我原本也很驚慌...

Freaked?

驚慌？

I'm not freaked out!

我沒有驚慌啊！

I'm indignant as a consumer!

身為一個購買者，我很憤怒！

You know what?

你知道嗎？

Let's- let's talk later.

我們等等再來談吧！

No, no!

不，不！

I wanna talk now!

我現在就想談！

Okay?

好嗎？

In fact, I wanna talk to the president of the condom company!

事實上，我想跟保險套公司的經理談談！

Okay, you know, maybe I should come back...

好，你知道他，我可以等等再回來...

Yeah, I'll press one!

好，我按 1 ！

Oh my god!

天啊！

What happened to the door?

門怎麼了？

So it's noticeable, huh?

所以看得出來，是嗎？

Look, is Rachel here?

聽著，瑞秋在這裡嗎？

I really need to talk to her.

我真的需要跟她談談。

Didn't you two already talk?

你們不是已經談過了嗎？

Yeah, but...

對，但是...

Okay, okay...

好吧，好吧！

Look, you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but there's something else.

聽著，你們知道我跟瑞秋共度了一晚，但不只如此。

Rachel's pregnant.

瑞秋懷孕了。

Oh mother of god!

噢我的老天鵝啊！

I can't believe that!

我真不敢相信！

With my child!

是我的小孩！

That is brand new information!

這完全是新消息啊！

You already know, don't you?

你們已經知道了，對吧？

Little bit.

一點點。

How you doing?

你還好嗎？

Okay.

還好。

Okay.

還可以。

I mean I'll be okay.

我的意思是我會好的。

It's just I don't think I handled it very well.

我只是覺得我沒有處理得很好。

What did you say to her?

你跟她說了什麼？

Nothing.

沒什麼。

But the compliant department at the condom company got an earful, and then when I turned around she was gone.

但是保險套的客服我倒說了很多，我一轉頭她就不見了。

Oh, Ross.

噢，羅斯。

I know, but hey, in my defense I just found out that condoms are only like 97 percent effective.

我知道，但為我自己辯護一下，我剛發現保險套只有百分之九十七有效。

What?

什麼？

I got to go find her.

我必須去找她。

Wow, hey oh, hold on.

誒，等等。

Are you serious?

你認真的嗎？

So like 3 percent of the time they don't even work?

所以有百分之三的機率它們沒有效？

Huh?!

蛤？！

They should put that on the box!

他們應該要寫在盒子上啊！

- Evidently, they do. - What?!

- 顯然地，它們有。 - 什麼？