Yes.

對！

Okay, not the phones.

好，不是手機更新。

I'm not talking about the phones.

我不是在說手機。

I'm talking about the alphabet.

我是說字母。

Did you see this?

你們看到了嗎？

Yes!

對！

Yeah, the song that we all learned as a kid to learn the ABCs, the whole alphabet, they changed it.

對，我們小時候用來學 ABC 的字母歌，整首歌都被更新了。

Yep, look what they did.

對，看看他們做了什麼。

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U. V, W, X, Y, Z.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.

WTF?

什麼鬼？

They...so they supposedly changed it because kids couldn't understand the L, M, N, O, P put together.

他們...據說他們改了它是因為 L、M、N、O、P 放在一起令孩子難以理解。

So they.. this version separates those letters.

於是他們...這個版本就把這幾個字母分開了。

If you thought Bernie and Ernie being more than just roommates...

如果你覺得芝麻街的 Bernie 和 Ernie 不只是室友關係的話...

Bert and Ernie.

Bert 和 Ernie 。

Huh?

蛤？

Bert and Ernie.

Bert 和 Ernie 才對。

Bert and Ernie.

Bert 和 Ernie 。

Bernie and Ert... is that what I said?

我剛剛說什麼， Bernie 和 Ert 嗎？

You said Ernie and Bernie.

妳說 Ernie 和 Bernie 。

I don't know.

我不知道。

I just, I don't know these people.

我其實不認識這些人。

Bert and Ernie, if you thought that they were--being more than just roommates was upsetting your childhood, this is a whole other level.

Bert 和 Ernie ，如果你覺得他們不只是室友關係，搞砸了你的童年，這個字母歌又更上一層樓了。

Bert and Ernie should be together. So should L, M, N, O, P.

Bert 和 Ernie 應該要在一起，就像 L、M、N、O、P 一樣。

Who did it? Who changed it? Who can I sue?

誰做的，誰改的，我可以告誰？

That's...that...those...those were the questions.

以上是我想問的。

The old song was fine.

舊的版本沒有問題啊！

It's not like people don't eventually learn the letters.

又不是說人們不會學到這些字母。

Ultimately, we know L, M, N, O, P is not one letter.

最終，大家都知道 L、M、N、O、P 不是同一個字母。

Just like at some point we know that "pisketti" is spaghetti.

就像我們總有一天會知道 pisketti 和 spaghetti 指的都是義大利麵。

Which I learned recently.

這是我最近才學到的。

There are some things, though, that shouldn't change.

但是有些事情不應該改變。

Remember how Pluto was a planet, and then it wasn't, and then now it is again?

記得冥王星曾經是九大行星之一，結果突然不是了，然後現在卻又是了？

Make up your mind, space doctors.

下定決心好嗎，太空博士們！

Listen, if we're going to start changing childhood things, I've got other ideas.

聽著，如果我們要開始改變童年的事物，我倒是有其他主意。

How about we make LEGOs soft?

把樂高積木改成軟的，怎麼樣？

How about that?

如何？

I don't even have kids, and yet I've managed to step on one.

我根本沒有小孩，但我還是踩到了它。

And also I think drinking age should be 16, driving age should be 21, and by 14 every child should have a rescue animal.

然後我覺得合法的飲酒年齡應該是 16 歲，開車應該是 21 歲，然後所有小孩滿 14 歲都必須領養動物。

Whether it's a dog, a cat, a possum- I am not...just everyone should have a rescue animal.

不管是狗、貓還是負鼠，我不...但大家都必須領養動物。

And if we're going to start changing songs, I have an idea.

假如我們要開始改歌的話，我有個點子。

Let's change "Baby Shark" by removing all the words and all the music.

我們來改《鯊魚寶寶》，把整首歌的歌詞和音樂都拿掉。