I am Olivia Sui.

我是Olivia Sui

We are not the same person. We're tired of people confusing us.

我們不是同一個人。我們已經厭倦了人們把我們搞混。

But instead of getting mad, we're here to help.

但我們沒有生氣，而是來幫忙的。

By giving you guys the simple dos and don'ts for how to not piss off Asian people.

通過給你們簡單的注意事項，讓你們知道如何不惹惱亞洲人。

First, let's talk about greetings.

首先，我們來談談問候語。

You might not know how to pronounce our names.

你可能不知道我們的名字怎麼念。

So, do just ask.

所以，做只是問。

It's weird for everyone when you try and say our names and then butcher them.

當你試著說出我們的名字，然後又把它們刪掉的時候，大家都很奇怪。

So, is it Olivia Soo-wai, or Soo-wee, or, uh, Soo-eye?

那麼，到底是奧利維亞-秀慧，還是秀薇，或者，呃，秀眼？

Sui.

隋。

Oh.

哦。

Okay, so, Mari Te-catch-a-he.

好吧，那麼，瑪麗-特-抓-阿-他。

Close. Ta-ka-ha-shi. It's phonetic.

近了Ta-ka-ha-shi。是音譯的。

Well, you said it was Japanese.

你說是日本人

Zjhoon.

志勳

Zhjay-woonah?

Zhjay -woonah?

Juh-zjuhn-joon.

Juh-zjuhn-joon。

No, it's John.

不，是約翰

What? We have the same name!

什麼？ 我們有同樣的名字！我們有相同的名字！

Am I Asian?

我是亞洲人嗎？

Aw, I knew I was Asian! Dude!

哦，我知道我是亞洲人！老兄！

Wha-ah!

Wha -ah!

Dude, Jared! I'm Asian, man!

老兄，賈裡德！我是亞洲人，夥計！

Don't fetishize Asian women. Don't call it "Yellow Fever."

不要迷信亞洲女性。不要叫它 "黃熱病"。

Yeah, why does it have to be a disease?

是啊，為什麼非得是一種病呢？

There is nothing sexy about diseases.

疾病是沒有什麼性感的。

What about... Malaria.

那...瘧疾。

Hmm, I guess diseases are sexy.

嗯，我想疾病是性感的。

Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

慢性阻塞性肺病；

Emphysema.

肺氣腫；

Gonorrhea.

淋病；

Nope.

不對

Don't pander to us.

不要向我們獻媚。

And don't try to one-up our Asian-ness.

別想在我們亞洲人中獨佔鰲頭。

Oh, that's right. You're Japanese.

哦，對了，你是日本人。你是日本人。

Yeah!

是啊！

Oh my God, I went to Japan once.

哦，我的上帝，我去日本一次。

Oh, no way!

哦，不會吧！

Yes.

是的，我知道

My uncle, he actually--

我的叔叔，他實際上 -

And I love anime, like, so much.

而且我喜歡動漫，喜歡，那麼多。

Like, oh my God, like, konnichiwa.

像，哦，我的上帝，像，馬背。

Like, the best, right?

是最好的，對吧？

Mm-hmm.

嗯哼。

Anyways, sayonara.

總之，sayonara。

Do know that there are a lot more countries in Asia other than, China, Japan, Korea.

要知道，亞洲除了，中國，日本，韓國之外，還有很多國家。

For example, India, right, Monica?

比如說，印度，對吧，莫妮卡？

Huh?

咦？

On that note, don't assume that we're all from the same country either.

在這一點上，也不要以為我們都是同一個國家的人。

Not all Asians are the same.

不是所有的亞洲人都一樣。

You'd actually probably really like my friend.

其實你可能真的會喜歡我的朋友。

- Oh? - Yeah, she's Korean.

- 是的，她是韓國人。

I mean, you might even know her already.

我的意思是，你甚至可能已經認識她了。

I don't know every Asian person.

我不認識每個亞洲人。

- Her name's Sarah Kim. - Oh. I do know her.

- 她的名字是莎拉金。- 哦，我確實認識她。我知道她。

And?

還有呢？

I like her.

我喜歡她

Oh.

哦。

If you're making a movie about Asian people, don't cast a white person to play an Asian.

如果你要拍一部關於亞洲人的電影，不要讓一個白人來扮演亞洲人。

Cast me.

給我投。

Or me!

還是我！

Or me!

還是我！

Please leave.

請離開。

- Uh-uh. - Why?

- 呃，呃。- 為什麼？

But I, you know, I can こんにちは, I can do it.

但我，你知道，我可以 你好，我可以做到這一點。

All right. Cool. Bye!

好吧，我知道了涼爽。再見！

Bye, forever.

再見，永遠。

Don't assume we're all good at math.

不要以為我們的數學都很好。

Yeah, that's stereotyping.

是啊，這就是刻板印象。

- 18% of half of $51 is-- - $4.59.

- 51元的一半的18%是----4.59元。

Damn it!

該死的！

Don't assume we all know karate.

不要以為我們都會空手道。

Yeah, that's stereotyping.

是啊，這就是刻板印象。

Ow, ow, ow.

嗷，嗷，嗷。

What was that?

那是什麼？

I thought the karate's inside me.

我還以為空手道在我體內呢

What? No!

什麼？ - 不！什麼？

You have math. We get one!

你有數學。我們得到一個！

What do you have?

你有什麼？

A sh*t ton of cute backpacks!

一大堆可愛的揹包!

That's a lot of dopes.

那是很多笨蛋。

Yeah, do you think it sounds too negative?

是啊，你覺得這聽起來是不是太消極了？

Maybe, and we're generalizing a lot, which is the exact thing we don't want people to do.

也許吧，而且我們以偏概全，這正是我們不希望人們做的事情。

Right, so I guess if you want to not piss off Asian people, don't be an asshole.

對，所以我想如果你想不惹惱亞洲人，就不要做個混蛋。

Or like, overall, don't be an asshole.

或者說，總的來說，不要做一個混蛋。

Don't be an asshole.

不要成為一個混蛋。

Wow, I love this video, and Asians!

哇，我喜歡這個視頻，還有亞洲人!

Hey, if you want to watch "One Letter Off Kids Shows," tap that box on the left.

嘿，如果你想看 "一字關兒童節目"，就點左邊那個框。

Or if you want to see more of Mari, tap that box on the right for "Smosh Pit Weekly."

或者如果你想看更多的馬麗，請點擊右邊那個方框，查看 "煙坑週刊"。

It's back every Saturday, baby!

每週六都會回來，寶貝！