He told me to never tell anyone and I'd be sinning if I did.

他叫我不要說出去，不然我就有罪。

What is your biggest secret?

你最大的秘密是什麼？

During my teenage years of depression, I got involved with the psychotic and obsessive guy that abused, threatened, and blackmailed me.

在我青少年憂鬱的時期，我跟一個心理有問題的男生在一起，他對我施暴、威脅、勒索我。

I swore if I had the money, I would have hired someone to kill him to relieve me of the nightmare I lived in.

如果我有錢，我發誓我會請人殺了他，讓我不要再活在他的陰影下。

My father died 14 years ago, but I still add his number to my contacts list every time I get a new phone.

我爸爸在十四年前過世了，但每當我換手機時我還是會把他的手機號碼加到我的聯絡人裡面。

I'm addicted to porn.

我對色情片成癮。

I am Christian, but sometimes I get terrified that this is all that there is.

我是基督教教徒，但有時候我會怕人生就是僅此而已。

I'm not religious or affiliated with any religion...

我並不虔誠，也沒有信任何宗教。

But we all have that similar feeling, and I have that same feeling that you, your eyes open all of a sudden, This is where you are and this is all that you have...

但這種相似的感覺人人都有，我也有曾經有過這種感覺，突然睜開眼睛發現，你生存在這裡然後你也只有這些。

And that's scary.

這真的很可怕。

I don't think much about leaving, but I do fantasize about what my life would be like if I didn't get married at 21, have two children before 25, or quit teaching because more money needed to come in.

我沒有想過要離開，但我曾幻想過如果我不是 21 就結婚、 25 歲就生了兩個小孩、辭掉教師工作為了要賺更多錢的話，我的生活會變什麼樣子。

When mom told me you had killed yourself, I was so relieved I would never have to tell you I'm gay.

當媽媽告訴我你自殺了時，我因為不用跟你說我是同性戀而覺得鬆了一口氣。

Umm..

呃... 。

First of all as a person who is gay, when I was in high school, I worked on a suicide hotline for three years.

首先，身為同性戀，我以前高中的時候在自殺防治專線工作了三年。

I don't want anybody to ever feel relieved at.

我不希望有人會覺得鬆一口氣。

I mean, what I gathered from this, is that a parent took their own life like to be relieved.

我從這裡得到的是，他因為一位家人自殺而感到慶幸。

That's a lot of turmoil.

好混亂的感覺。

I feel for them.

我很有感觸。

I love my dad, but wish he would get a DUI just once.

我愛我的爸爸，但我希望他可以不要在喝醉酒或受藥物影響駕駛下開車。

Yeah, I think that's always really hard when you have a parent and you feel like that parent isn't as responsible you might like them to be.

對，我覺得當你有家人，但你覺得那位家人沒有你期望的那麼負責任時真的很困難。

I think you can still love someone but wish them to step up.

我覺得你還是可以愛他，但你希望他可以負點責任。

I think that's like a perfectly plausible thing to ask.

我覺得那是很合理的要求。

My best friend died because of me.

我最好的朋友因為我而死了。

I'm 19 and I met her in a children's depression hospital after an attempted suicide.

我十九歲，我在兒童憂鬱症醫院在她嘗試自殺之後遇見了她。

A day after she contacted me and for some reason, I didn't reply.

有一天她聯絡我，不知道什麼原因，我沒有回覆。

I was scrolling through my Instagram feed.

我在滑 Instagram 。

I clicked their icon and read the comments, “RIP, miss you so much”.

我按了她的頭貼，唸了留言「願死者安息，我好想妳。」

It was.. , then I knew I had killed someone I love.

真的是... ，然後我就發現我殺了我愛的人。

This situation hits me.

這個狀況我很有感觸。

It hits me so deeply and almost instantly.

我幾乎是馬上有了很深的共鳴。

It's a subtle reminder that the influence that you leave on somebody could be eternal.

這件事提醒了我們你對其他人的影響是永遠的。

There's power in your presence; there's power in your influence; there's power in who you are.

你的存在有力量，你的影響有力量，你這個人是誰也有力量。