I always forget. They were always pretty bad,

我總是忘記。它總是很糟糕。

but I remember one time we bought --

但我記得有一次，我們買了--

you know the costumes that come in the box with the cellophane,

你知道新的服裝都是會有個包裝袋

and it was Batman.

那是蝙蝠俠套裝。

I think it was Batman. -Yeah.

我想應該是蝙蝠俠套裝。沒錯。

-And my mom made me wear a sweatshirt over it.

然後我媽要我在外面多加一件運動衫。

[ Light laughter ]

(笑聲)

So basically I was a kid in a sweatshirt with a Batman mask.

所以我當時是帶著蝙蝠俠面具穿著運動衫的小屁孩。

[ Laughter ]

(笑聲)

And I had been wearing it all day.

我一整天都穿著。

I was so excited to wear it, that I had chewed the plastic.

我很興奮能穿這件，我咬了那個塑膠袋。

Mouth -- I was, like, chewing on the mouth thing,

嘴巴---我當時咬著東西

and it cut my lip open.

它劃破我的嘴唇。

So, I had, like, a bloody mouth and --

所以我滿嘴鮮血。

kid in a sweatshirt, Batman, and I jumped off a stoop

一個穿著運動衫的蝙蝠俠，拿了糖果後

after I got candy.

跳下階梯。

And I go, "I'm Batman" or whatever,

我說了「我是蝙蝠俠」之類的

and I jumped off, and it was so cheap

接著就跳下去，因為服裝很便宜

that the costume just ripped. [ Light laughter ]

所以它就裂開了 (笑聲)

I had, like, jeans on underneath,

我當時裡面有穿著牛仔褲

but I ended up just being a kid in jeans and a t-shirt.

結果變成一個穿著 T恤衫的小屁孩。

-With a mouth -- -With a bloody lip.

嘴唇上還沾了鮮血。

-Sweatshirt, jeans -- -Yeah, and a bloody lip. Yeah.

運動衫、牛仔褲、嘴唇鮮血。是的。

That was probably the worst one.

那可能是最糟糕的一次。

But I don't know, I've had bad ones.

但我不知道，或許是吧。

This first one here is from @JodieColombo.

第一則是來自 @JodieColombo。

-Ooh! -She says,

她說：

"My grandmother wrapped my cousin up in tinfoil

「我奶奶在萬聖節用錫箔紙把我包堂弟起來，

for Halloween and said he was a Hershey's Kiss,

說他是 Hershey's Kiss 的巧克力，

everyone thought he was leftovers."

大家都以為那是是廚餘。」

[ Cheers and applause ]

(歡呼聲與掌聲)

-Come on!

笑一下！

[ Applause ]

(掌聲)

Leftovers are good costumes.

廚餘是好的變裝。

-I'm going as old lasagna. [ Light laughter ]

那我變裝老千層麵。(笑聲)

This one is from @MemeFinder69.

下一則是來自 @MemeFinder69。

[ Audience oohs ]

(觀眾還呼聲)

-Wow. [ Laughs ] What?

哇。(笑聲) 什麼啦？

I hope that was for "MemeFinder."

我希望他是 MemeFinder。

-Yeah, he was probably born in 1969.

他可能是 1969 年出生的。

-Yeah, sure.

一定是。

-He says, "I went as a hand last Halloween.

他說：「我萬聖節裝扮了一隻手，

I spent the whole night getting hit in the face."

結果我整個晚上被人一直打臉。」

Like... High five, high five.

大家來擊掌、擊掌。

Ow. [ Smack ]

哎喲。(拍擊聲)

High five. Ow. [ Smack ]

來擊掌。哎喲。(拍擊聲)

High five. Ow. [ Smack ]

來擊掌。哎喲。(拍擊聲)

[ Laughter ]

(笑聲)

High five, nerd. [ Smack ]

宅男、來擊掌。哎喲。(拍擊聲)

Ow.

哎喲。

-MemeFinder.

-MemeFinder

-This one's from @RachelLees.

下一則是來是 @RachelLees。

She says, "In 2017 we all went out as a family group

她說：「2017 年我們全家人裝扮成超級英雄，

of superheroes -- Superman, Supergirl, and Wonder Woman.

超人、女超人、神力女超人。

At the last second, my youngest demanded she dress as poop."

最後一刻，最小的說她要裝扮成便便。」

[ Laughter ]

(笑聲)

[ Cheers and applause ]

(歡呼聲與掌聲)

-Come on, Superpoop.

不錯啊，超級便便。

-This one's from @KellytheWalsh.

下一則來自 @KellytheWalsh。

She said, "I got 50 people at my high school to wear all gray

她說：「我們有 50 人在學校都全身穿灰色，

and sunglasses so we could be 50 Shades of Grey.

配戴太陽眼鏡，所以我們是格雷的 50 道陰影，

I was told it wasn't school appropriate,

但有人說不適合學校，

and we had to enter the costume contest as pavement."

所以我們將扮裝主題改為柏油路。」

[ Laughter and applause ]

(歡呼聲與掌聲)

That's pretty good. -Yeah.

那真的還不錯。是啊。

-I like that one. -You're not going to win, kid.

我喜歡這一則。孩子，你贏不了的。

-Sexy pavement. [ Laughter ]

性感柏油路。(笑聲)

This one's from @ms-emily-allen.

下一則是來自 @ms-emily-allen

She says, "I dressed as Ariana Grande

她說：「我的萬聖節裝扮是

for a Halloween party.

Ariana Grande。

On the street, a kid yelled, "Look, Mom, it's old Ariana.'"

在街上，一位小屁孩子說著：「媽媽快看，是 Ariana 姥姥。」

[ Laughter ]

(笑聲)

There's no need for that.

也不用說出來吧。

-Thank you, next. [ Laughter ]

謝謝，下一則。(笑聲)

This one's from @JoAnnNJ1.

下一則是來自 @JoAnnNJ1。

Says, "I'm a teacher,

說道：「我是一位老師，

and our school Halloween parade was that day.

我們學校的萬聖節遊行剛好在那一天。

I grabbed a cat costume from the first store I passed.

我經過第一家店隨手買了一件貓裝。

Halfway through the parade another teacher told me

遊行到一半另一位老師告訴我

it said "naughty little kitty" on the back.

背後寫著『性感小野貓』。」

-Oh. [ Laughter and applause ]

(歡呼聲與掌聲)

-Uh, Miss Palmer. -Excuse me.

Palmer 小姐姐。不好意思。

-This last one here is from @RickEGreen.

最後一則是來自 @RickEGreen。

He says, last year I strapped a bicycle tire to my neck

他說：「去年我在脖子套上自行車胎

and just sit next to the couples all night,

整晚坐在一對情侶旁邊，

I was the third wheel. -Oh.

我扮演備胎。

-There you go. There you have it,

的確是備胎。當好當滿。」

those are our "Tonight Show Hashtags."

以上是我們的 Tonight Show Hashtags 的節目。

To check our more of our favorites,

看更多我們的最愛

go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.

請上 tonightshow.com/hashtags 網站。