(stutters) There's, there's some, there's some pretty good ones.

有些笑話真的是蠻不賴的

Uhh..

嗯...

Especially, you know one of the crazy things when you do these live Q&As is some of them are very silly, so we got one -

特別是有些..你們知道，當你在做現場問答環節時，會有些很怪異的問題，其中一個是

"Mark, are the allegations true that you're secretly a lizard?"

"Mark,那些說你其實是一條蜥蝪的說法是真的嗎?"

Umm..

嗯...

(stutters) I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to go with no, on that. I, I am, I am NOT a lizard.

我只能說我不是,我不是蜥蝪

Umm..

嗯.....

But you know keep the high quality comments coming in.

但是,很可以,請你們繼續留這些高品質留言

Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, WELL!!!

好的，好的，很好！

Mr. Suckerberg, dunked yourself into a hole!

吸克柏先生,你這次挖坑自己跳了

Mr. SSSucker!

＊吸＊克柏先生!!!

SSSSUCKERBURG!!

＊＊吸＊＊克柏!!!

Not a lizard people, he said.

他聲稱自己不是蜥蝪人

We've been seeing Mark Zuckerberg act strange for a long time, a long time now from, from the infamous or famous meme.

我們發現祖克柏的行為怪異，有很長的一段時間了，自從那個MEME出現之後就不斷發生

Nice job team.

「一級棒喔 隊友們」這個梗

"New face filters on Instagram today."

"這是全新的instagram濾鏡功能,

"This is my favorite one so far. Nice job team!"

好！！！！！！！

New face filter on Instagram today.

好！！！！！！！！

This is my favorite one so far.

吸克柏先生,你這次挖坑自己跳了

Nice job team,

＊吸＊克柏先生!!!

Something is cLeArLy off with Mark Suckerberg's

＊＊吸＊＊克柏!!!

Antics before where what is it? Why is the man?

他聲稱自己不是蜥蝪人

Leading a social media network so incapable

他聲稱自己不是蜥蝪人

Of social

我們發現祖克柏的行為怪異

ness

有很長的一段時間了

This I just want to warn you guys what I'm about to show you next

自從那個MEME出現之後就不斷發生

Might shock you.

「一級棒喔 隊友們」這個梗

It might...

"這是全新的instagram濾鏡功能,

ZZZzzuck (suck)

這是我目前最喜歡的一個

To watch

一級棒喔 隊友們"

especially for you Mark,

*重複* 這是全新的Instagram濾鏡功能,

If you're watching.

這是我目前最喜歡的一個

I know you are :).

一級棒喔 隊友們

I know you're watching Mark.

看來馬克.祖克柏的身份背後真的有鬼

Well I know you're sweating..

我們現在面對的事實是甚麼?為什麼這個男人

Or can you sweat Mark?

為什麼一個領導社交媒體的男人

Are you capable of human?

完全不擅長

things?

社交

Or do you just shed your skin?

我想提醒一下各位觀眾,接下來我要給你看的

[Video] You kind of need to remind yourself that you need to focus, and-

會讓你震驚

umm and try not to let stuff bother you as much as possible

它會

But it is gonna bother you because you're Human,

讓 你 震 精(驚)

and I was human

特別是你喔,Mark

I am human still um..

如果你在看的話

*Audience laughing*

我知道你有在看喔,Mark

*Pewds has the mind of a Reddit detective*

我知道你已經嚇到冷汗直流了

*Chuckles*

噢 還是你會流汗嗎？

*INHALE*

Mark？？

[Felix] Let's keep watching.

你會流汗這種人類..機制？

[Video] BUT UM-

還是你只會蛻皮?

But it- but it was just reffering to myself in the past.

"你有時候要提醒一下自己需要集中 嗯,盡量不讓琑事影響自己"

Um. (STOP WITH THOSE UM'S PLEASE)

"但是它們還是會讓你分心的 因為你是一個人啊"

Not that I was not human-

"我曾是"（？

I was just referring to myself in the p (quietly) *ast*

"我也是 ...我仍然是人"(譯:暗黑3!?!?)

(what does it mean??) *Really really softly*

..............

Now that sort of thing doesn't just SLIP out of your tongue, okay Mark?

*笑*

All right?

*抽氣* 我們繼續看下去

"I was human"

"但..嗯.."

That just doesn't happen

"但...只是在說過去的我啦"

Normally, okay?

"嗯.."

You just don't-

"不是在說我不是人"

You just don't simply say stuff

*重複* 我只是在說過去的我

That you're not supposed to say like

*笑* (所以這意味著...？？)

Uhh..

那種話正常人不會突然說出來的.好嗎Mark?

Horrifically offensive words,

好嗎？

That are genuinely frowned upon by the entirety of

"我曾經是人類"!

Humankind except them-

那平常根本不會發生啊

Okay, all right. Well.

正常來說 好嗎？

It just DOESN'T HAPPEN MARK

你正常根本不會

I Need answers..

正常根本不會說出一些

[Video] But it is gonna bother you because you're human,

平常不會說的話

And I was human,

像是被完全被大眾唾棄,十分具攻擊性且冒犯人的字眼 (譯:pewd最近的妮歌事件)

I am human still *What do you mean.*

但是他們私底下還是會－算了 好吧

*Audience laughing at Mark's words*

反正不會有人這樣講話的！！MARK！！

but-

我要真相！

[Felix] They cut away to the audience,

"但是它們還是會讓你分心的 因為你是一個人啊"

You know they they-

"我曾是.."

have his drone sitting in the back-

"我也是 ...我仍然是人"

OH GAWD

"但.."

OH GAWD x2

他們把畫面切去觀眾那邊了,他們早就安排好了一個無人機在他後面待命.噢 老天!

[Felix] WE'VE HAVE A CODE RED OVER HERE

天啊!!這邊出狀況了,灰色警戒!!! (譯:灰色=恐怖份子)

What is it that your hiding from us,Mark-e succ?

你到底在隱瞞甚麼 馬克-吸克?

Why is your laptop webcam taped over with your microphone?

為什麼你用膠帶把筆電的鏡頭跟麥克風都封起來了呢?

Is it so that during your shedding period?

是不是每當你到蛻皮週期的時候

People won't find out? (loominarty)

他們才不會發現?

well, I know because from one reptile to another I mean from one part..

而我,我知道,因為我們是同類

*burp*

我是指我們都是...

I know, okay. I just know I have sources--I have a reliable sources That's telling me that you're a reptile

*嗝*

Okay, this is a really great channel that analyzes body language. Let's see what they have to say about the succ

我知道的

so

我就是知道

for me

我有情報來源

The thing that I was really fascinated by it it always have been is

我有可靠的線人

um

告訴我你就是 爬 蟲

People right and how people work um you notice" we're gonna go back

OKAY？

I didn't expect it to cut off from his body you see how he's sitting straight up

這是個很棒的身體語言分析頻道

Hands on his knees head up chin level. Where as opposed to this guy who's mirroring Mark?

來看看他們對吸克柏有甚麼看法

He slightly angled down in the face, so he's submitting to Mark. He's covering. He's open. He's dominating the space and he is

"所以"

Purposely doing this and we'll I'll show you how I know is

"對我來說"

People right and how people work

"我一直以來都很著迷的"

In orders in college. I studied psychology and computer science

"就是人啊"

very long

"還有人們是如何運作的"

intense eye contact

"你會注意到..."

He's purposely doing it looks away shortly purposely doing that as well thoughts come through it gives a break

「我們回放一下」

But is to dominate "and you know one of the things that you learn when you study psychology is

「我沒想到影片會突然就從他身上切到他的臉 觀察一下他坐的十分筆直」

That there are all these parts of the brain

「手放在膝蓋上,頭抬至下巴跟地面平行」

Which are geared" say how long he's holding that eye contact now normally when you have someone who's submitting to you

「而與Mark正對著的這個人」

And you're still continuously dominating them in the fashion that he's doing right now with his body posture his intense eye contact

「他稍稍把臉向下,所以他正在對Mark臣服 而且雙手交差在隱藏自己」

You're going to give them a break and relax your body so that they can relax and be relaxed as well

「Mark身體語言則是開放的 表示他正主導著這個空間中的交流」

so it's a relaxed atmosphere" It really feels like I'm I'm

「而他是有意識的去做這個動作的」

We're breaking down and it's some sort of alien life-form here. Okay. That's been trained to mimic human behavior a

「我會說明我到底怎麼知道的」

lot of stuff happened along the way, I think um

"...還有人們是如何運作的"

You know there were real learning points and turning" and now we see the sweat, and that's one of the few things

"我在大學的時候曾有讀過心理學跟電腦科學"

It's really hard to control." No no he doesn't sweat. He doesn't, he doesn't sweat come on. Let's get real here

「相當長」

*Mark Zuckerberg,with the mind of a normie,tries to know what the Z U C C meme is*

「相當頻繁的眼神交流」

What's the whole Z U C C thing? *Pewds laugh* Well, he's talking about oral sex

「他正在刻意地做這個交流 然後短暫的轉移視線也是刻意的 有想到東西要講,眼神交流作了短暫的停頓」

Good morning Jarvis good morning mark. It's Saturday

「目的就是主導甚麼時候要停」

So you only have five meetings room temperature is set to a cool

"而你知道你在讀心理學其中要學的東西是"

68 degrees

"我們的腦袋有這些部分"

Earlier this year, I started building a simple AI to help run our home

"是這樣去...."

I talked to Jarvis using this app I built it uses artificial intelligence to understand me and figure out what to do

「看見他持續那個眼神接觸多久嗎?」

Max woke up a few minutes ago. I'm entertaining her all right. Let's go check on her

「通常面對一個臣服的對象的時候 」

Practice our man

「而由你主導這個交流,像是他現在在做的 用他的身體語言跟眼神交流之後」

Jarvis your Mandarin is so soothing. Jarvis also helps me get ready in the morning."fresh shirt!" "Fire in the hole!"

「你正常會給點時間對手休息 還有給你自己身體去放鬆,連帶他們也可以稍微放鬆一下」

Hell yeah. and Jarvis can play all of our favourite music. Hey play us some good Nickelback songs" "I'm sorry Mark. I'm afraid

「所以你能讓這個交流有和諧一點的氣氛」

I can't do that

我真的感覺我們..嗯..

There are no good Nickelback song"

我們漸漸逼近真相了

Good! that was actually a test all Nickelback sucks. Am I right everyone

這是甚麼外星生物之類的東西,有沒有?

HEHEHE

牠是受過人類行為模仿訓練的

Yeah, Nickelback is the worst.ohoho

"一路上發生了很多事情 我想"

*Pewds laughs weirdly*

"裡面總有些事物給我們上了一課或成為轉捩點"

Nickelback sucks

「而現在公開場合,他則不由自主地流汗」

Oh they're the worst

「那是少數很難控制的身體語...」

I hate them because everyone else hates them ahahaha. Have you heard of my Crocs? Haha?

不 不 不 他不會流汗的

Who would wear them? Am I rite ahahaha

他就爬蟲根本流不出來

I can't think for myself ahahaha

我說真的

*HEHEHEHEHEHE*

"kenneth留言：「Mark我看你連吸都不會吧」"

Anyway, I talked to Jarvis using this app

"甚麼鬼?你直播過後再來跟我講那是甚麼東西吧"

I built it uses artificial intelligence to understand and figure out what to do. Jarvis also

"我盡力幫你看看"

Helps me get ready in the morning "Fresh shirt!" "Fire in the hole!"

"那個吸克 ZUCC是甚麼啊?我根本沒看過"

And Jarvis can play all of our favorite music. Okay, how about just play some songs that our whole family likes

*模仿* 那個吸克 ZUCC是甚麼東西呢?

*Excision - Robo Kitty appears*

*笑*

And if I don't want to talk, I could just text Jarvis through a messenger bot that I built

呃

What the hell ya doing Z U C C

*小聲* 他在講吸懶叫啦

My bad

早喔 賈維斯 「早喔 馬克 今天是星期六」

auughh....

「所以你只有5個會要開而已」 *facebook行政總裁設計了一個全新的虛擬助手賈維斯*

I think my favorite part of Mark is sense of humor. It's truly

「室溫設定到涼快的華氏68度」 *對,上帝 又稱摩根.費曼在告訴祖克柏他的室溫*

I-It's something

"今年年初,我開始設計一個簡單的AI幫助我處理家居日常"

Hey, welcome to F8!

"我用這個自行開發的AI程式"

We're gathered here at the second biggest event called F8, this week and uh

"來讓賈維斯理解我的指令"

You know we probably should have seen this one coming out there

"並且想辦法執行"

Probably should've seen this coming after Fast and Furious 7

「馬克斯在幾分鐘前已經起床了我在逗著她玩」

didn't

"好 來去看看她吧"

It's our bad

00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,359 "賈維斯 你的普通話令人心曠神怡喔" *賈維斯智能高的可以教你的孩子普通話*

Now while we don't have The Rock here today, We do have the tech equivalent David the Rock Marcus

「謝謝」 *賈維斯智能高的可以教你的孩子普通話*

And while we may not live our lives a quarter mile at a time

"賈維斯也幫我的每天早上作準備"

Did you feel that - that invokes some something in me man, what?

"給我乾淨的衣服"

what ibasfomskfbsflsgtbsfkn

「開火！！」 *賈維斯很明顯也兼職了籃球賽用炮射衣服出來那個跑龍套*

Again.While we may not live our lives a quarter mile at a time

*賈維斯很明顯也兼職了籃球賽用炮射衣服出來那個跑龍套*

*Zoom in on Z U C C's face*

"這才像話"

And we may not live our lives one quarter life at a time man I

"賈維斯還能播我們最愛的音樂"

\Stop with those weird ass laughs Pewds/

"嘿 來播些五分錢的好歌吧"

Know at least some guy here lived their lives one quarterly earnings at a time all right

「對不起喔馬克,我想我不能這樣做」

All right, bear with me. I got one more one more for you." No no no Z U C C

「五分錢連一支好歌都沒有」

I can't I can't well Fast and Furious' tagline is "Never Give Up On Family." Oh here it comes. "Our's is similar.

"好!那其實是在測試你而已"

Never give up on the family of apps" [Why?????]

五分錢爛到流湯了,對嘛各位?

Not as catchy

哈哈哈

Not as catchy *Facepalm Pewds*

耶,五分錢爛死了

Aww my god....

*詭異的笑*

That has to be an inside joke please at least let that be an inside joke, oh my God -Christian Channel Pewds-

五分錢爛死了

That's what progress in science is so fast you

啊哈哈哈

might even call it

他們最爛了 啊哈哈哈

Fast and Furious

我討厭他們因為大家都討厭他們

*Vin Diesel walks away in shame*

啊哈哈哈

What's with the Fast and Furious integration? It's clearly a sponsor.

你聽過鱷魚牌嗎? 啊哈哈

Is Z U C C himself hashtags spon, without hashtag spon? Mark

誰會穿它們？對吧？ 啊哈哈哈哈

eeeeueeeueee

我無法自行思考

You you you gotta you got to hashtag spon or hashtag add at least, I mean youtubers

啊哈哈哈哈哈

We're just bombarded by this shit, and and all the shame and everything that comes with it

隨便啦

"Oh you had a promo and you didn't disclose it with at least 48 hashtag adds all over the screen

"我用這個自行開發的AI程式"

Blasted with giant symbols and the theme song of this is Sponsored, this is sponsored

"來讓賈維斯理解我的指令"

I'm getting paid for this." what i- what it what is happening here, okay?

*一級棒喔 隊友們XXD "並且想辦法執行"

But what what what kind of world dominating plot? Are they working on they're clearly doing in this at the Oscar?

"賈維斯也幫我的每天早上作準備"

"Hey play some good Nickelback songs." *FUNNY Z U C C* Nickleback

"給我乾淨的衣服"

Music is Satanic. One like equals one Prayer, type Amen in the comments if you scroll down and ignore you hate Jesus." "Good

「開火」

That was actually a test. Okay, how about just play some songs that our whole family like?"

*中斷錄影*

*The literal form of cancer*

"賈維斯還能播放我們最愛的音樂"

They like you're watching and remember one like equals one Z U C C

"好吧 播些我們全家都愛的音樂"

*PewDiePie awkwardly staring at the camera as he fakes positivity*

*Excision - Robo Kitty*