replaying the same bad memories over and over again in your head if so then

you're in luck because in today's video I'm going to show you exactly how to get

over your past mistakes now in order for us to get to the bottom of this problem

we have to first talk about why we think about the past in the first place see

the human brain is a very very powerful machine with one main purpose which is

to keep you alive and it's incredibly good at that we are the only species on

this planet that can project far into the future and also think back to our

past and this ability has allowed us to outsmart the hundreds of other species

on this planet that are far stronger than us physically the main reason we

think about the past is so that we can prevent bad things from happening again

let's say for example late one night you're walking down a dark alley by

yourself and you're approached by a couple of guys they pull a knife out and

ask you to empty your pockets congratulations you just got mugged

afterwards you're gonna find yourself playing that event over and over again

in your head for days weeks and maybe even months because even though you

weren't physically hurt that was still an extremely dangerous situation to be

in it you could have been seriously injured or even killed so your brain is

gonna keep thinking about this event until it figures out how you can prevent

something like that from ever happening again now this doesn't only apply to

physically dangerous events because the more common type of dwelling we do

nowadays is on mentally dangerous events let's say for example you have a crush

on a girl at work or in school after a couple of months you finally muster up

the courage to tell her how you feel but she turns you down in a rather harsh way

even though this event didn't harm you at all physically it does cause a lot of

mental pain experiments have been conducted where they discovered that

being rejected lights up the same pathways in your brain as physical pain

so it turns out that rejection does hurt literally and because of this your brain

is gonna see this event as something you need to prevent from happening again in

the future and it's going to keep dwelling on it

until it figures it out and it does so in a simple three-step process the

first step is by figuring out the why why did she reject you so harshly was it

because you took too long to ask her out was it because you did so in a very

awkward manner was it because you're not attractive enough you need to figure out

a why once that sorted out step number two is coming up with a solution if she

rejected you because you're awkward then a solution might be to fix your social

skills especially when it comes to talking to girls if she rejected you

because you're not attractive then a solution you might come up with is to

hit the gym and fix your diet so that you can look better and be more

attractive you need to come up with a solution that could prevent this bad

event from happening again which brings us to the third and final step seeing

that it's working you need to actually make progress and see that your solution

is getting you closer to preventing that bad event or mistake from happening

again in the future if your solution was to improve your social skills then you

will eventually get to a point where some girls start saying yes to you and

even though some will still turn you down they do so in a more polite manner

seeing this sort of progress will reassure your brain that you've solved

the problem that the bad event or past mistake will become less likely to

happen again and this will allow it to relax and think about other things now

if you're someone who keeps thinking about your past mistakes then it's

because you're stuck somewhere in this three-step process some of us never

figure out the why maybe we really don't know why something bad happen to us if

that's the case you need to do your research look for clues and figure it

out in the case of girls turning you down reading a book on dating or

relationships may shine some light on the answer you could even ask a friend

for their honest opinion on why the ladies don't fancy you or maybe we never

figure out the why because we end up blaming something that's out of our

control some guys after getting rejected will

blame things like their Heights or their race which are not things that you can

change and this prevents you from moving on because these are wise that have no

solution you can't change your ethnicity you need to figure out a why that is

something that you have control over moving on some of us get stuck trying to

figure out the solution if you have no idea how to solve something simply

google it chances are there's a book or video out there that tells you exactly

what you need to do you just have to find it use the

power of the internet to your advantage and finally some of us never see

progress it may be because you never actually applied the solution to your

life which could be because of numerous reasons such as an identity issue not

believing that you are worthy a change being in a bad environment that prevents

you from changing having an addiction or plain old laziness whatever it is you

need to actually try and follow through with your solution another reason why

you might not be seeing progress maybe because the solution you decided on is

ineffective which does happen from time to time because not every solution you

come up with is going to work everyone is different and because something

worked for someone else doesn't mean it's 100% going to work for you in this

case you need to simply try and test out different solutions until you find one

that actually allows you to make progress by unstuck in yourself from

wherever you are in this three-step process you allow your brain to do its

job you will have successfully taken steps to preventing the past mistake or

bad event from happening again and because of that your brain will finally

be able to let that memory go and that's how you get over your past mistakes this

episode was brought to you with the help of the guys at audible if you're stuck

trying to figure out the why or the solution part of getting over a past

mistake then audible is something you should really consider because the

answers you're looking for are almost always found in books nowadays I do just

about all of my reading by listening to books on audible mainly because it

allows me to read in places where I can't physically pull out a book such as

when I'm working out commuting somewhere or even when I'm doing my grocery

shopping chances are the answers you're looking for is somewhere on the platform

you just have to take advantage of the convenient time that we live in and go

look for it go to www.mptv.org and to free audible originals every single

month and besides that guys stay tuned