I am going to bed. Good night.

我要去睡啦，晚安。

Uh, well...

呃，等一下...

Is everything okay?

一切都還好嗎？

Well, It's uh... It's—it's just that I was hoping that...

呃，那個... 我... 我只是希望能...

Well, that we could...

那個，我們能不能...

And I-I wanna make this clear.

我想要講得明白一點。

I-I-I wanna be straightforward. I want to have a...

我... 我想要直言不諱。我想要...

Okay. Uh, Luther? Are you available to translate?

好喔。呃，Luther？你能來幫忙翻譯一下嗎？

Yes, ma'am.

是的，夫人。

I really was hoping we could spend some time together.

我真的很希望我們可以享受一下兩人世界。

When was the last time we had sex, woman? Re-election night?

我們上一次上床都是什麼時候了？連任那一晚嗎？

What does a brother not named "Bill Clinton" have to do to get some [bleep] in this house?

難道不叫比爾·柯林頓，就不能在白宮好好做愛做的事情嗎？

Well, you have been very busy lately.

這個嘛，你最近忙成那樣。

You know what? If I could ju—can we get your translator? - Oh, yes, certainly. Uh, Catendra?

不然這樣好了，我可以請你的翻譯過來嗎？ - 噢，好，當然沒問題。呃， Catendra？

Yeah, honey?

親愛的，怎麼啦？

Could you please translate: "Well, you have been very busy lately."

可以請你翻譯一下「你最近忙成那樣。」這句話是什麼意思嗎？

Sure.

當然。

My [bleep] ain't one of your limousines that you can jump in and out of whenever you feel like.

我的ＸＸ 可不是那台可以自由進出的豪華禮車，讓你想就來，不想就走。

I don't see you all day, then you want a booty call?

你整天都不見人影，然後一回來就只想打炮？

I need an emotional connection, [bleep].

我需要感情互動的好嗎， ＸＸ。

Thought this was, uh, romantic.

我還以為這樣是很浪漫耶。

I'm [bleep]in' tryin', bitch! Can't you see?

我已經他 X 的在試了，婊子！你看不出來嗎？

I'm playin' the romantic music, I got the pinot in the glasses....

我都已經放這麼浪漫的音樂，還倒了兩杯皮諾紅酒...

What more do you want from me? An engraved invitation from my nuts?

你到底還想要什麼要我怎樣？刻字在我的蛋蛋上當作邀請函嗎？

Maybe we should make a date.

也許我們應該要先約個會。

What am I supposed to do? Jump out of my clothes every time Little Barry stands at attention?

那我該怎麼做？每次只要看到小歐巴馬站起來，就直接脫光光嗎？

You ain't my commander-in-chief, mother-[bleep], and my vagina ain't some cave in the Middle East you can fly your heat-seeking missile into whenever you feel like it.

你可不是我這個人的三軍總帥，王 X 羔子，而且我的陰道可不是什麼能讓你隨心所欲用熱追蹤導彈射進來的中東洞穴。

Well, I... I didn't mean to call you, but I-I had meetings all day long.

唉呀，我不是故意要打擾你，但我都開一整天的會了。

I'm dealing with these mother-[bleep] Republicans, hearing "No, no, no" all day long.

我每天都得和這些共和黨的雜Ｘ打交道，整天得聽他們在那邊「不不不」。

Then I come home, and you ain't gonna let me get my jam on up in here?

然後我一回家 ，你卻只會讓我吃閉門羹？

Well, you know, I have had a busy day too.

嗯，你知道的，我也同樣很忙呀。

You act like I ain't got nothing else to do, [bleep].

你說的好像是我整天沒事做一樣，ＸＸ。

I got these obese mother-[bleep] on my ass 24/7.

這些過胖的 X 小鬼讓我一天 24 小時都沒得休息啊。

What's more important—you getting your wick dipped, or some eight-year-old fat-ass collapsing in his bunk bed?

你覺得哪一個比較重要－幫你止癢，還是讓八歲小胖暴斃在床上？

Okay.

好吧。

You seem to be forgetting job number one.

你似乎忘記你最重要的工作是什麼了。

You are my secretary of [bleep], bitch! Get to work!

你可是我的Ｘ愛私人秘書，婊子！快點打卡工作！

You.

你真是的。

Luther? Catendra?

Luther？Catendra？

Oh, yes, yes, sir.

噢，是的長官。

We'll—we'll take it from here.

接下來我們自己處理就好了。

Absolutely—yes, sir. - Yes, ma'am.

當然，是的，長官。 - 是的，女士。

Thank you. - Good night. Good night, ma'am.

晚安。 - 晚安。晚安，女士。

Come here.

來這邊。

Oh, this feels good.

噢，感覺真是太棒了。

Um, mom? Dad?

呃，媽媽？爸爸？

I know you already said that I can't go, but can I please go to the party tonight?

我知道你們之前說我不行去啦，但求求你們，拜託可以讓我去今晚的派對嗎？

Malia, use your translator.

Malia，用你的翻譯吧。

If you don't let me go to this party, I will get a tattoo on my face.

如果你們不讓我參加派對，我就直接在臉上刺個刺青給你們看。

Have fun.

玩得開心點。

[IN A WORLD...]

[在一個...]

I'm here with Ozamataz Buckshank, the rookie of the Sandford University.

站在我身邊的是史丹佛大學的新進球員 Ozamataz Buckshank。

[WHERE COMEDY IS KING...]

[喜劇為王的世界...]

That's the one...

就是那個...

Welcome to... Cunnilingus Class!

歡迎來到... 愛撫教室！

[NO HERO IS SACRED...]

[沒有所謂神聖的英雄...]

And the racist-ass Mel Gibsons. - I know, I know.

還有那個種族主義者梅爾·吉勃遜。 - 我知道，我知道啦。

Pretty much, Stimpy.

差不多就是那樣，Stimpy。

Now hold on a second!

給我等一下！

Mr. T!?

T 先生！？

WHO? (Who was slapping around your little homey?)

誰？(誰在拍打你的小兄弟啊？)

[WATCH KEY & PEELE NEXT WEEK]

[下禮拜準時收看 KEY & PEELE]

[CATCH ALL THAT?]

[看清楚了嗎？]

Oh, god damn!

噢，老天啊！

Forget about the telephone. I need to speak from my heart.

忘了什麼電話吧。我得說出我的真心話。

Shut the f*ck up!

他 X 的給我閉嘴！

But folks, I'm sorry, gonna get everybody tonight. I'm gonna get... nobody is safe.

大家抱歉，但今天每個人都會被我吐槽。我一定會... 沒有人是安全的。

Who is next?

接下來是誰？

Do me!

選我選我！

YO.

唷。

Racist-ass Mel Gibson is still kind of my sh*t.

我還是挺喜歡種族主義者梅爾·吉勃遜的。