♪

- Quvenzhané Wallis and Stephen Hawking

in the same room discussing me?

Guess they must've made up.

Focus.

There'll be Fergies a-plenty in the Good Place.

[tender music]

♪

[sighs]

- I don't know where we went wrong with Tahani.

- I know, she is such a disappointment

compared to her sister.

- Hello, Father.

Hello, Mother.

- Oh, hello, Tahani.

We were just talking about

how you're a huge disappointment

compared to your sister.

- Have a seat, we'd love to get your take.

♪

- How's it going in here?

- I'm losing by three.

Meditating to calm myself down.

I'd be winning by, like, a million

if I could play as the Jags

instead of playing against the Jags.

I hate scoring against my own favorite team.

[foreboding music]

But you already knew that.

Because this is the test!

- Yeah, that's not a revelation or something.

I explained that very clearly.

- It's nice to see you, Tahani.

Apparently, wherever you've been,

they've been keeping you well-fed.

- You know, I've actually risked

quite a lot to be in this room right now,

so if you could just not be cruel for maybe 30 seconds,

that would be lovely.

- Apologies,

it's been a while since we've seen you.

We have so much to tell you about your sister.

- We've just heard the most wonderful news.

Kamilah dedicated her last album to you.

- Really?

- Well, she dedicated it to her fans

and you're one of her fans.

- The whole point of this afterlife test

is that everyone in these rooms

is supposed to be talking about me.

And yet, even in this scenario,

you are still talking about Kamilah.

Which is exactly the point.

I was never going to be enough for you.

Never going to earn your respect.

You know, I've done things

that you would never have approved of.

I died,

dressed as someone in the service industry,

I shagged a Floridian,

I even ate a Cheeto.

both: [gasp]

- That's right. Chewing it was deafening.

And it's the happiest I have ever been.

- Don't get upset, dear.

You barely fit in that dress,

and I'm afraid you're going to

hulk out, as it were.

- Okay.

I'm sorry we didn't have a better relationship.

And I wish you both the best.

♪

[sighs]

♪