shedding your need for validation from others

[ Shimmering ]

[ Upbeat tune plays ] [ Cheering and applause ]

You know, I haven't been this upset

since my good friend Taylo was rudely upstaged

my my other friend Kanye, who was defending

my best friend, Beyoncé.

[ Sigh ]

First, I cleansed myself

of all the worldly possessions

I gave them all to Goodwill.

That's what I call Prince William.

I was Baz Luhrmann's muse for a while.

That was quite fun.

Reach for the stars!

As I said to my good frien Elon Musk.

[ Needle scratches record What a weird creep.

Why was I friends with him

You found this place on Airbnb?

I used Heirbnb, h-e-i-r.

It's an app where we swap mansions,

private islands.

I would say I outdid myself, but,

I'm always this good,

so I simply did myself.

I haven't met a more perfect couple since I set up Drak

with Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

You know, one of my shyest friends -

I won't say his name,

to preserve his privacy --

but he asked me to cohost

his TV show, "Anderson Cooper 360."

I enjoy American football.

I dated a player, once.

But he wasn't my type,

so I set him up with my friend Gisele.

Buendchen. -Yeah, we got it.

We always get it.

En garde!

[ Thwack ]

Obviously, I'd never do that

in a competition.

That'd be a 3/10 deduction -[Crying out]

Ah! There are plenty

of other people I could help

My good friend Ben Affleck

Sting. No last initial.

Barbra Streisand.

Kevin Costner. Bono.

Scary, Sporty, Posh, and Baby.

Johnny Depp. Mark Zuckerberg.

Ryan Reynolds. Javier Bardem.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

It's not about who you know.

Enlightenment comes from within.

♪♪♪♪

The Dalai Lama texted me that. [sniff]