Name: 錯誤的數字 (Wrong Numbers)
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T08:20:37.000Z
Duration: 9 min 32 s

(Incoherent taking on other side of phone)

Hey, James. This is James from the future.

嘿詹姆斯，這是來自未來的詹姆斯。

Just wanted you to give you a call and let you know that,

只是想讓你打個電話讓你知道，

Puberty can be tough, but, you can get through it.

青春期可能很難，但是，你可以撐過去的。

你打錯電話了。╭∩╮◕ㅂ◕ ╭∩╮

I grew up in a generation where smartphones where a new thing.

我成長於智慧型手機剛出現的世代。

My parents never got me one because they didn't want me to access the Internet

我的父母從來沒有幫我買過手機，因為他們不希望我

用一個可以放在口袋裡的設備接觸網路

because they were super strict and didn't want me looking at...

因為他們超級嚴格，不想讓我看......

結果適得其反...... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

所以，他們從沒給我智慧型手機。

In fact, I didn't even get my first cellphone

事實上，我甚至沒有拿到我的第一支手機

Now as an adult who uses his cellphone everyday,

現在作為每天使用手機的成年人，

我不知道我沒有手機是怎麼活過16年的。

如果我曾經遇到過需要打電話給父母的情況

If I was ever in a situation where I needed to call my parents

我會問最近的人可不可以借電話 （我可以跟你借電話嗎）

I would just ask the nearest person if I could borrow their phone

現在，如果螢幕前有任何父母沒有給他們的孩子手機，

Now if there's are any parents watching this who haven't given their children a cellphone yet,

從一個沒養小孩的網友口中聽好了。

Take it from a guy on the internet with no children.

你可以給他們你的標準毒販手機（指備用手機）

You can just give them your standard drug dealer phone.

但是你應該至少給他們一支手機，以防萬一發生緊急情況

But you should at least give them a cellphone in case there's an emergency

我能想到給孩子一支電話的唯一缺點

The only downside I can think of giving your child a phone is:

就是他們總會花太多時間在上面

They'll end up spending TOO much time on it

所以..你應該時不時限制他們使用手機吧我不知道。

So.. you should just turn off their service from time to time I don't know.

當我16歲並結束高中二年級的時候

When I turned 16 and finished up my sophomore year of high school

我不是在90年代長大...... 這...其他人都有iphone，

I didn't grow up in the 90s... Tha- everyone else had iphones

但我是唯一一個帶有鍵盤的手機的人。

But I was the only one with a fli- with a phone that had a keyboard on it.

有了那支手機，我遇到了幾件事

and with that cellphone, I've had a couple of incidentses

Where sometimes a random person would call me

而這就是你如何進入這個月的影片主題。

And that's how you segway into the theme of this month's video.

第一個故事發生在我在Sooubway工作的時候。

This first story happened when I was working at Sooubway. (Not Subway)

#SOOUBWAY 4 這故事不夠精彩而沒有放在其他3集裡

#SOOUBWAY 4. It wasn't good enough to be in the other 3.

所以距離打烊還有5分鐘，我們在Sooubway接到一通電話

So it was 5 minutes until closing and we get a phone call on the Sooubway phone.

「呃~~~~~感謝你打給Sooubway 我可以怎麼幫助你呢？」

"UGHHHHH..Thank for calling Sooubway. How may I help you?"

我應該說，「我是詹姆斯，我可以怎麼幫助你呢？」

但我不打算告訴這個隨意的陌生人我的名字！

But I wasn't about to tell this random stranger my name...

Anyway, the other person on the line said,

「如果我遲到的話，沒關係嗎？我只需要汽油。」

time do you guys close in five minutes is it alright if I show up late I just

我完全願意透過電話幫這個人做三明治

Idiot: "Is it alright if I show up late? I just need gas."

然後我不會幫他結帳，並把錢塞到自己口袋。

I was totally willing to make this guy's sandwich over the phone,

我是開玩笑，我沒這樣做，這樣是犯罪，請不要告我。

所以我說，「是的，我能幫忙，你想要什麼樣的三明治？」

and then I wouldn't ring him up and just pocket the money.

「哦，先生，請不要擔心，這個三明治會讓你放出充足的氣體。

我 - 我的意思是，你想要薯片還是什麼？」

So I said, "Yeah I can do that. What kind of sandwich do you want?"

「不！」他說，「我只需要汽油！」

「好的，是的，所以你會去加油，

This sandwich will give you plenty of gas. I... I mean, do you want chips or something?"

"Okay, yes. So, you'll get gas, then are you gonna stop by and pick up a sandwich?"

即使我對這個人說的第一件話是：

我想他以為他正在和加油站講話。

Even though the first thing I ever said to this guy was:

所以我說，「先生，我們這裡是Sooubway？」

I think he thought he was talking to a gas station.

而我還沒來的及跟他說自助加油站不會...

下一個故事發生在我在家時，我接到了一個我不認識的電話。

And I never got the chance to tell him that gas pumps don't close.

我現在的朋友告訴我，他們不接他們不認識的任何號碼

This next story happened when I was at home

但是我的焦慮不會讓我這樣做。

and I got a call from a number I didn't recognize

如果是銀行打來說你的戶頭被駭了怎麼辦？

如果是你的奶奶怎麼辦？因為你為什麼會把她的號碼紀錄在手機裡？

they don't answer the phone to any number they don't recognize.

或者如果是你的奈及利亞叔叔想要給你他的金條收藏怎麼辦？

而且需要你的資料才能匯給你？

What if it's your bank calling saying your account got hacked?

你永遠不會知道！所以我總是會接電話。

What if it's your grandma 'cause why would you have her saved in your phone?

所以我回答了，正是這個女人要找「勞倫斯」。

Or what if it's your Nigerian uncle who wants to give you his collection of gold

我說，  「哦，我不是 - 你打錯號碼了。」

bars and needs your information for a wire transfer?

她繼續說， 「不是416-295嗎？」

You just never know, so I always pick up the phone.

這顯然不是真的號碼，所以不要試著打電話。

So, I answered it and it was this woman asking for a Lawrence.

我說，「不，這裡是416-293」，因為這是我的電話號碼。

同樣，這實際上不是真的電話號碼， 所以請不要打電話過來。

字幕列表影片播放

錯誤的數字 (Wrong Numbers)

recognize

accent

situation

character