I was someone who thought I just get along better with boys.

我是一個認為自己只是和男生相處得比較好的人。

But in reality, I was just terribly intimidated by, and afraid of, WOMEN.

但實際上，我只是被女人嚇到了，害怕女人。

I fell into that whole stereotypical thinking that women are drama or too emotional or catty.

我陷入了那種陳舊的思維，認為女人都是戲精，或者太情緒化，或者斤斤計較。

Blurgh. Social conditioning.

Blurgh.社會條件。

But as I've stumbled through my twenties, matured, and learned, and grown and I'm now rapidly approaching 30.

但當我跌跌撞撞地走過二十幾歲的時候，成熟了，學習了，成長了，現在的我已經迅速接近30歲了。

I've been looking back and thinking about what's been the most impactful in my life in the last decade.

我一直在回顧和思考過去十年對我人生影響最大的是什麼。

If I could go back in time and tell myself anything at 20, what would it be?

如果我可以回到過去，告訴20歲的自己什麼，會是什麼？

And without a doubt, I would say, "Yo, female friendships though, you're sleeping on them."

毫無疑問，我會說："喲，女性朋友的友誼雖然，你在睡覺。"

And as I take stock of the kinds of women in my life, I have noticed a pattern emerge, the sort of standing pillars of friendship, that each one of my friends sort of fall into.

而當我在盤點我生活中的女性種類時，我發現出現了一種模式，我的每一個朋友都算是友誼的立柱。

Number one: The Caretaker

一號看守人

She's protective, nurturing, and encouraging.

她會保護人、培養人、鼓勵人。

She's got a multitude of snacks in her purse whenever you're hungry, will send you out the door with an umbrella or jacket if you forgot one, and leave you feeling loved and taken care of.

只要你餓了，她的包裡就會有眾多的零食，如果你忘了帶傘或外套，她會送你出門，讓你感受到被愛和被照顧。

She's sort of like your mom and your big sister and mother nature rolled into one beautiful package.

她有點像你的媽媽和你的大姐，還有大自然母親，集於一身的美麗包裝。

She's the kind of women who bakes a delicious gluten free muffin in the same day that she retiles her bathroom.

她是那種在上廁所的當天就能烤出美味的無麩質鬆餅的女人。

Number two: The Fun-time Friend

二號歡樂時光的朋友

She's a wild card, but isn't that the best card in Uno!

她是一張野牌，但這不就是優諾最好的牌嗎!

She can out drink you, make you laugh until you pee a little, and has a million events that you can be her plus one to.

她可以把你喝倒在地，讓你笑到尿不出來，有無數的活動，你可以做她的加一。

She's especially essential immediately post-breakup and will make sure that you have ample thirst traps to make your ex regret their decision.

她特別是分手後立即必不可少的，她會確保你有充足的渴求陷阱，讓你的前任後悔他們的決定。

She makes you feel like it's both of you versus the world, and you pity the world because they're hella outnumbered.

她讓你覺得是你和世界的較量，你可憐世界，因為他們人數太少了。

Three: The Independent Woman

三:獨立婦女

She's driven, inspiring, and has her life together, but makes your mess of life feel like it's a glorious work in progress.

她有動力，有靈感，有自己的生活，但讓你的亂七八糟的生活感覺是一個光榮的工作。

She's the one you call when you have no idea how to find out where your towed car is, or when you need advice on how to find a good tax person.

當你不知道如何找到被拖走的車在哪裡時，或者當你需要諮詢如何找到一個好的稅務人員時，你就會找她。

She's probably not that much older than you, maybe she's even younger than you.

她可能並不比你大多少，也許她比你還小。

But her emotional maturity is through the roof and you definitely view her as your mentor sometimes.

但她的情感成熟度是通天徹地的，你有時絕對把她看成你的導師。

She's confident, has a solid sense of self worth, and everything about her is what you wanna be when you grow up.

她自信，有堅實的自我價值感，她的一切是你長大後想成為的。

Four: The One-on-one Friend

四是 "一對一 "的朋友一對一的朋友

She may be more introverted, so you mostly hang out one-on-one bonding over tea and good conversation.

她可能比較內向，所以你們大多是一對一的結伴而行，喝著茶，聊著天。

You may discuss anything from books you've been reading to the deep-seated traumas you're uncovering in therapy.

你可以討論任何事情，從你讀過的書到你在治療中發現的深層創傷。

But either way, you usually hang out for hours on end and leave your time with her feeling connected, seen and excited to talk again.

但無論是哪種方式，你通常會在外面玩幾個小時，離開你和她的時間時，感覺有聯繫，被看到，並興奮地再次交談。

She's normally incredibly compassionate, deep-feeling, and thoughtful.

她平時就非常的有同情心，感情深沉，體貼入微。

And you value her objective perspective on so many different issues.

而你卻看重她對這麼多不同問題的客觀看法。

And finally, five: The Toxic Friend. Not all female friends are great.

最後，五。有毒的朋友。並不是所有的女性朋友都很好。

In fact you may have a few toxic friends in your circle, from frenemies to negative nancies, we all have that friend that we're not entirely sure we should even be friends with.

其實你的圈子裡可能有幾個毒舌的朋友，從閨蜜到負心漢，我們都有那麼一個朋友，我們甚至不完全確定是否應該和他做朋友。

I mean maybe every time you see each other she talks for two hours before asking you a question about yourself.

我的意思是，也許每次你們見面，她都會聊上兩個小時，然後再問你一個關於自己的問題。

Maybe she's emotionally draining, puts you down as a joke, or reaches out only when she wants something from you.

也許她在感情上很耗費精力，把你當做一個笑話，或者只有當她想從你這裡得到什麼的時候才會主動聯繫你。

Either way, you usually have something to learn from this kind of friend, whether it's how to set strong boundaries, speaking up for yourself, or just learning what type of people you don't want in your life.

不管是哪種方式，你通常都能從這種朋友身上學到一些東西，不管是如何設置強大的界限，為自己說話，還是隻是學習你不想在生活中遇到哪種類型的人。

There you have it.

這就是了

The five types of female friends I've noticed circulate in and out of my life over the last ten years.

過去十年，我注意到的五種女性朋友在我的生活中循環往復。

And if I had to guess which one I was, I would probably say The One-on-one Friend.

如果要我猜我是哪一個，我可能會說是《一對一的朋友》。

Though I have definitely been The Fun-time Friend when I was a teenager; and on occasion, The Toxic One, which sucks but sometimes you are.

雖然我在少年時期絕對是The Fun-time Friend；偶爾也是The Toxic One，雖然很爛，但有時候你就是這樣。

What about you? Let me know in the comments below, and do not forget to share this with that special friend in your life or The Toxic One.

你呢？請在下面的評論中告訴我，別忘了和你生命中那個特別的朋友或者《毒舌》分享。

Uh yeah, actually, if a friend randomly sent this to you, you're probably toxic, sorry!

呃，是的，其實，如果朋友隨便給你發了這個，你可能就有毒了，對不起!

I am Anna Akana and thank you to Audible for sponsoring today's video.

我是安娜-阿卡娜，感謝Audible對今天視頻的贊助。

Listening makes us smarter, more connected people and there's no better place to listen than audible.

傾聽讓我們成為更聰明、更有聯繫的人，沒有比有聲有色的地方更適合傾聽了。

Audible members choose three titles every month, one audio book plus two Audible Originals that you can't hear anywhere else.

Audible會員每月選擇三本圖書，一本有聲書加上兩本Audible原版書，你在其他地方聽不到。

Just go to audible.com/anna or text "Anna" to 500-500 and browse their unmatched selection of audio content.

只需登錄audible.com/anna或發短信 "Anna "到500-500，即可瀏覽他們無與倫比的音頻內容選擇。

I recently listened to the book "Text Me When You Get Home".

最近我聽了《回家後給我發簡訊》這本書。

It was such an informative read about the way that modern female friendships have evolved in both cinema representation and in the life of the author Kayleen.

這是一本關於現代女性友誼在電影表現和作者凱琳的生活中的演變方式的書，內容非常豐富。

As someone who was also once threatened by the idea of a woman and greatly intimidated by flocks of them, I found it to be really relatable in all the ways that I used to reject being a girl's girl because I was stupid.

作為一個也曾經被女人的想法威脅過，被成群的女人大大嚇到的人，我覺得這本書真的很有親和力，我曾經因為自己笨而拒絕做一個女孩子的女孩。

Start listening with a 30-day free trial and your first audio book plus two Audible Originals are free when you go to audible.com/anna, or text "anna" to 500-500.

從30天的免費試用開始聽，你的第一本有聲讀物加上兩本Audible原版書都是免費的，只要你去audible.com/anna，或者發短信 "anna "到500-500。