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  • If you are like me then whenever you have to talk to a stranger

  • these thoughts come to your mind also.

  • 'Am I looking okay?'

  • 'What if they don't like me?'

  • 'OMG...but my English is so bad.'

  • 'What if they think I am stupid?'

  • I was shit scared of talking to new people too

  • but even then, I went on to represent India

  • at the World Championship of Public Speaking at Florida, USA

  • after winning 4 rounds.

  • And if I can stand on that stage

  • and talk to hundreds of strangers, without peeing my pants

  • then so can you. And today I am going to tell you exactly how.

  • So it doesn't matter if you just want to go to a stranger and say 'Hi',

  • give a smashing presentation infront of hundreds of strangers

  • or simply ask a guy or a girl out on a date;

  • today by the end of this video, you will learn

  • how to be confident while talking to strangers.

  • So in today's video we are going to learn

  • how to talk to one stranger,

  • how to talk to 10-12 strangers in a Group Discussion, especially during interviews.

  • And finally we are going to see how to master public speaking

  • and give brilliant presentations; be it in your school or in your office.

  • But most importantly, towards the end, I'll give you a Bonus Tip

  • that will turn the tables and make you fall in love

  • with talking to strangers.

  • But before that, if you like what I am saying

  • make sure you hit that big fat 'Like' button

  • because that motivates me to make more videos.

  • Let's begin.

  • See, all of us have a close group of friends and family

  • that we are very comfortable talking to.

  • But when it comes to talking to somebody outside this group,

  • we think twice about it, our heart starts beating faster

  • and some of us even start sweating.

  • So here are the 3 things that you must do

  • to keep your heart-rate in check.

  • 1. Realise that you do not have to be perfect.

  • I want you to think about the top 3 villains that you hate.

  • Mine are Regina George from Mean Girls,

  • Kamolika from Kasauti

  • and ofcourse, Thanos.

  • If you think about it, all of these 3 characters

  • are smart, dress great and are...

  • Perfect.

  • And that's why we hate them.

  • Being perfect will not make people like you.

  • On the contrary, it will make people dislike you.

  • Whenever you are talking to someone and he/she notices

  • that you also have flaws, you also make mistakes,

  • you also have your insecurities just like them,

  • that's when that connection happens.

  • 2. Make it about them.

  • If you want to build a rapport with someone,

  • make the conversation all about them.

  • You can ask questions like...

  • 'Where did you do your schooling?'

  • 'Did you like the new Avengers movie?'

  • 'How are you so smart, tell me, do you also watch The Urban Fight videos?'

  • This has 2 benefits...#1) People love talking about themselves.

  • So give them that opportunity and learn more about them.

  • #2. When you shift your mental focus from

  • 'Omg, what am I saying? How am I looking?'

  • to all about them i.e their opinions, their interests

  • that's when your nervousness goes down.

  • 3. Join different groups.

  • Jump on the opportunity of meeting new people.

  • So help organise events,

  • join clubs like Toastmasters, BNI, Rotary etc..

  • where you will get to meet new people reguarly

  • and have one-on-one conversations.

  • Now apart from these groups, another thing that

  • will help you talk to new people, even outside your country

  • is this app called, 'Cambly'.

  • They have tutors from US, UK, Canada

  • and this app provides 1-on-1 speaking practise sessions with them.

  • I'll show you how this app works just before the Bonus Tip

  • but for now, remember, you need to get yourself in situations

  • either through groups, through apps or through communities

  • where you can have as many 1-on-1 conversations as you can.

  • Be it for MBA, Job Recruitment or Bank Exams,

  • Group Discussion is an important round, but

  • it is very different from a 1-on-1 conversation

  • because here you have to impress a recruiter

  • who is not even talking to you.

  • Instead, the room is full of chaos;

  • he is shouting, she is shouting

  • and nobody is letting you speak.

  • But as Littlefinger says, 'Chaos is a ladder'.

  • Now let's see how we can climb it.

  • Whenever you are in a Group Discussion, you can do 2 things

  • to impress a recruiter.

  • 1. Show that you are a professional.

  • Even if others are shouting, you don't shout.

  • It's just disrespectful.

  • And avoid using informal phrases like,

  • 'Kya yaar? Whaat re?'

  • On the other hand, you don't have to use complicated words

  • like Shashi Tharoor or be a Grammar Nazi.

  • It's okay to make a few grammatical mistakes here and there

  • as long as you are confident while speaking.

  • 2. Show that you are flexible in accepting other people's views.

  • This is important because eventually you will work in a team

  • where not everybody will agree with you.

  • Your team members will come from

  • different lifestyles, backgrounds, religions, beliefs.

  • So even if they don't align with the way you think,

  • it's important that you are open to new ideas.

  • If you want to know how to start a GD,

  • what to say in the middle,

  • how to summarise it towards the end

  • and want to know what kind of topics come in a GD round then

  • I've made a separate detailed video titled,

  • 'How to prepare for a Group Discussion'

  • You can find this video on my YouTube channel

  • or I've even left the link in the description.

  • Make sure you check it out.

  • Do you want to know a secret?

  • Everybody is afraid of public speaking.

  • The fear of public speaking is the number 1 fear

  • more than death; which means people are ready to die

  • instead of speaking in public

  • which means this fear is no joke.

  • But just like any other skill, even public speaking can be mastered

  • and here are the 5 ways to do it.

  • 1. Whenever you are on stage, KISS.

  • Keep it simple, silly.

  • Have you ever heard Navjot Singh Siddhu speak?

  • 'A fallen lighthouse is more dangerous than a reef'

  • *That was a very bad impression*

  • 'Even a cock crows over his own dunghill'

  • I am sure he is a great man but what I am trying to say is that

  • it's okay to sound complicated and smart

  • whenever you are writing a book or the dialogues of a movie.

  • You can pause and rewind.

  • But whenever you are giving a presentation,

  • your audience cannot pause and rewind you.

  • So you need to be clear from the word go.

  • So keep it simple just like

  • you talk to your friends.

  • It's okay to be nervous on stage.

  • The problem is when we show the audience that we are nervous

  • by clutching our wrists too tight,

  • playing with our pockets or

  • pulling on a hand-kerchief.

  • So here are a few gestures that you must avoid

  • whenever you are on stage.

  • *Playing with your hair*

  • *Apologising too many times*

  • *Having your arms crossed*

  • *Turning your back to the audience*

  • The easiest way to take care of your body language is to

  • get on to the stage and

  • take a few seconds to relax yourself.

  • Just breathe and smile.

  • And then start.

  • 3. Forget about audience reaction.

  • When you are public speaking, you are talking to a

  • group and in that group somebody fought with his wife,

  • somebody did not get promotion,

  • somebody is tired,

  • somebody is addicted to Instagram.

  • And all of these reactions have nothing to do with you personally.

  • Think of it this way, when you go to hear someone speak

  • do you wait for their speech to bomb?

  • No, right?

  • You are there because you want to learn something from them.

  • Most of the audience wants you to succeed

  • and the rest of them don't care because

  • they have their own priorities.

  • So even if you see a few bored faces here and there

  • forget about it and just focus on

  • your delivery, you presentation because this

  • is your moment and nobody else

  • can take it away from you.

  • Before I move on to the next section, this is

  • what I want you to do.

  • Comment and let me know, when was the last time

  • you heard a great presentation and who gave it?

  • Was it your school principal?

  • or somebody from your office or was it a TED Talk?

  • Incase you have it, provide the YouTube link below

  • so that all of us can watch and learn from it.

  • 4. Invest as much time and money

  • it takes to learn how to speak.

  • Let me tell you a story..

  • In 2010, I joined a public speaking club called Toastmasters.

  • It's a self-help club. Nobody is an expert but

  • it's a community that learns by supporting each other.

  • I used to pay 6$ per month to be a part of it

  • which is like 72$ per year.

  • My college friend used to tell me,

  • 'Why are you wasting money, just to go there and speak?'

  • Just a few months back he pinged me. His name is Aziz

  • and he said, 'You remember how I used to make fun of you?...

  • ..I was wrong. Clearly, public speaking changed your life!'

  • So invest as much time and money

  • it takes to learn how to speak well.

  • Obviously do not fall for those shams that

  • promise you that they will teach you English in just 30 days.

  • But...if it's an app, a club or a community

  • that says that it's a process and they are with you throughout that process

  • then try them out for a few times,

  • see how others have progressed

  • and if you get positive vibes from them

  • invest your time and money in it.

  • Because I have seen people get way ahead in their careers just by

  • getting over their fear of speaking.

  • And one of the ways of investing your time and money

  • is through the 'Cambly' app.

  • Before I give you the Bonus Tip, remember I told

  • you that I'll show you how Cambly works.

  • So this is how the app looks like,

  • you can see the list of the tutors

  • and where are they from.

  • Check out their profile and

  • start talking to them like this...

  • So that's how easy it is to talk to someone through Cambly

  • and yes this video is sponsored by them.

  • But you know that I do not accept sponsorship requests unless I really believe in the product

  • and I think Cambly is a great way to

  • talk to new people and learn how to speak confidently

  • especially when you are preparing for exams like IELTS.

  • And I even got a discount for you.

  • Go to the subscription page and type the Promo Code, 'theurbanfight' and

  • you'll get a flat 30% discount on all of the packages.

  • I really hope it works out for you.

  • Look, being nervous is not new to you.

  • You were nervous on your first day of school,

  • you were nervous when you first rode the bike,

  • you were nervous when you gave your first exam.

  • But now, all of that nervousness is under your control, right?

  • You know why?

  • Because you are a fighter.

  • Just like any other skill, speaking confidently

  • is also a skill that takes constant practise

  • that only a fighter like you can do.

  • So today's Bonus Tip is this...

  • ..always go back!

  • Every time you fail on the stage, go back and do it again.

  • Every time you screw up talking to someone,

  • go back and do it again.

  • Every time you do not clear a GD round,

  • go back and do it again.

  • You will be nervous

  • but it only means that this thing

  • is important to you.

  • Nervousness is not a STOP sign,

  • it is a GROWTH sign.

  • On that note, if you want to receive a notification

  • every time I drop a new video,

  • 'Subscribe' to my channel and hit that 'Bell' icon

  • because I make Career, Finance and Relationship videos just for you!

  • I am going to see you again very soon, until then

  • Keep fighting The Urban Fight to be Fit!

If you are like me then whenever you have to talk to a stranger

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A2 初級

如何在與陌生人交談時不變得神經質? (How to Not Get NERVOUS While Talking To Strangers)

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    up1217home 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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