And since then, I have been dating women.

從那時起，我就開始和女人約會。

And what I found very fascinating is that the more I date women, the more I find myself understanding heterosexual men.

而我發現非常迷人的是，我和女人約會的次數越多，我發現自己越能理解異性男人。

Let me explain.

讓我解釋一下。

Exhibit A: I was on a first date with a girl, who asked me out by the way, this is relevant because when the check came, she never once made a move to pay.

證據A:我和一個女孩第一次約會， 她約我出去，這是有關係的， 因為當支票來了， 她從來沒有做過付款的舉動。

Not even like the fake "let me reach for my purse" move.

連 "讓我伸手拿錢包 "的假動作都不喜歡。

And though I don't mind paying on a date, part of me felt like, you know, the offer would have been nice.

雖然我不介意在約會時付錢，但我的一部分覺得，你知道，這個提議會很好。

I was also a little taken aback that she didn't even say thank you.

我也有些詫異，她連謝謝都沒說。

AND I never heard from her again.

而我再也沒有她的消息。

It really made me feel like she just asked me out so she could have a free dinner.

這真的讓我覺得她只是為了能免費吃頓飯才約我出來的。

And the moment I thought that, I was like, "Oh my god. I sound like all of my guy friends right now."

而當我想到這一點的時候，我就想，"哦，我的上帝，我聽起來像我所有的男人朋友現在。我的聲音就像我所有的男人朋友現在。"

And my argument against why guys should pay for dates has always been like, look, girls take hours to get ready.

而我的論點反對 為什麼男人應該支付的日期 一直喜歡，你看，女孩需要幾個小時的準備。

Our investment is looking really nice for you.

我們的投資對你來說真的很不錯。

Make up, clothes — that costs money too.

化妝、衣服--這也要花錢。

But we were both girls in this situation. We both took hours to get ready.

但在這種情況下，我們都是女孩。 我們都花了好幾個小時來準備。

So I definitely felt slighted.

所以我肯定覺得自己被輕視了。

Exhibit B : On another day, I went back to a girl's house and I ended up making friends with her cat.

證據B：又有一天，我回到一個女孩家，結果我和她的貓交上了朋友。

That's not a pun. I'm talking about her literal actual animal.

這不是一個雙關語。我說的是她真正的動物。

And she said: Wow! My cat never likes anyone.

她說：哇！我的貓從來不喜歡任何人。

I better go out and buy a wedding dress.

我還是出去買件婚紗吧。

And again, I felt like I got some serious perspective.

而我又覺得自己得到了一些嚴肅的觀點。

I have been guilty of making these kinds of jokes on dates with men.

我也曾在和男人約會時開過這種玩笑。

I never really thought anything of it. I was just being silly!

我從來沒有想過什麼。我只是在犯傻！

But then when I was on the receiving end of it, I suddenly understood the panic.

但當我在接受的時候，我突然明白了恐慌。

And finally, Exhibit C : One girl invited me back into her house and her specific words were: Do you...wanna come in and make out?

最後，證據C：一個女孩邀請我回她家，她的具體話語是。你... 想進來親熱嗎？

Obviously, I'm like, yeah, you're really pretty. I want to press my face to yours.

顯然，我想，是的，你真的很漂亮。我想把我的臉貼在你的臉上。

But then when we got there, we both just sat on the couch and she talked until like... 3 a.m.

但當我們到了那裡，我們都只是坐在沙發上，她說，直到像... ...凌晨3點

And I was like yo girl, I gotta wake up at like 6 a.m.

我就像喲女孩，我得在像早上6點醒來。

I was told there would be kisses here, there are no kisses.

有人告訴我這裡會有吻，沒有吻。

And like look, I don't want to sound like an asshole.

就像你看，我不想聽起來像一個混蛋。

Like I don't mind talking, I love talking.

就像我不介意說話，我喜歡說話。

But she could have said : Do you wanna come in and just talk?

但她可以說:你想進來談談嗎？

And I would have had totally different expectations for the evening, you know?

而我對今晚的期待完全不同，你知道嗎？

Finally I started falling asleep and I was like, hey, I gotta go and I gave her one kiss and...and left.

最後我開始睡著了，我就想，嘿，我得走了，我親了她一下，然後......就走了。

And I felt sad that the amount of kisses promised did not equal the amount of kisses delivered.

而我覺得很難過，答應的吻的數量不等於送出的吻的數量。

And once again, I felt like a dude who was upset that I did not receive the expected physical kisses I was promised.

而我又一次覺得自己像個紈絝子弟，因為沒有得到預期的身體親吻而不爽。

And I wanted to talk about this because I felt like this has really been expanding my perspective when it comes to dating.

我想談談這個，因為我覺得這真的是擴大了我的視野，當它涉及到約會。

I finally understand a lot of the complaints my male friends have about dating that, I admit, I would usually dismiss.

我終於明白了很多男性朋友對約會的抱怨，我承認，我通常會拒絕。

But now I really get it when they say: Dating is just so expensive, man.

但現在我真的明白了，當他們說。約會是如此昂貴，男人。

Sometimes I feel like that girl doesn't even like me for me.

有時候我覺得那個女孩根本就不喜歡我，為了我。

She just wants like, a boyfriend.

她只是想要一個男朋友

I wish it were more socially expected to go dutch on the first few dates.

我希望在最初的幾次約會中，更多的社會預期是去荷蘭。

But you're like a jerk if you even suggest it.

但如果你連建議都沒有，你就像個混蛋。

And any experience that expands your compassion and understanding is one that I think is worthy of sharing.

而任何能擴大你的同情心和理解力的經歷，我認為都是值得分享的。

So what about you? Have you had any experiences that have shifted your viewpoint dramatically? Let me know.

那麼你呢？你有什麼經歷讓你的觀點發生了巨大的轉變嗎？讓我知道。

I'm Anna Akana, and thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring today's video.

我是安娜-阿卡娜，感謝Squarespace對今天視頻的贊助。

Squarespace has beautiful award-winning templates and an all-in-one platform, so there's no need to install patches or upgrades ever.

Squarespace擁有漂亮的獲獎模板和一體化平臺，所以永遠不需要安裝補丁或升級。

They also have 24-hour customer service and offer a simple and unique setup experience if you need a domain.

如果你需要一個域名，他們也有24小時的客戶服務，並提供簡單而獨特的設置體驗。

With Squarespace, you can create any kind of website whether you're chronicling your dating adventures, or just blogging about your perennial singledom.

有了Squarespace，你可以創建任何類型的網站，無論你是在記錄你的約會冒險，還是隻是在博客上寫你常年的單身生活。

Go to Squarespace.com/Anna to start your free trial today and use the offer code "Anna" for 10% off at checkout.

前往Squarespace.com/Anna開始您的免費試用，並在結賬時使用優惠代碼 "Anna "享受9折優惠。