Name: 哈囉，然後呢？社交寒暄其實沒那麼困難！(Small Talk Can Make You Happier. Here's How to Master it.)
Uploaded: 2023-07-26T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 4 min

祈使句型

Imagine you arrive at a party, but your friends are nowhere to be seen.

想像一下，你抵達派對現場，但你的朋友卻不見蹤影。

動名詞

So you have two options: the obvious one of staring mindlessly at your phone, or the terrifying one of talking to strangers.

眼前有兩項選擇：你當然可以無意識地盯著手機，或者心驚膽戰地跟陌生人講話。

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Even if you want to reach out, you might worry "what if they don't like me?"

就算想要和在場人士打成一片，你可能也會擔心「如果他們不喜歡我怎麼辦？」

"What if I come across as awkward?" "What do I even say to them?”

「如果我顯得局促不安怎麼辦？」「我甚至該對他們說什麼好呢？」

Never fear : recent research suggests that new acquaintances actually like you more than you think, and that talking to strangers can lead to a boost in happiness.

別害怕：最近有研究點出新結交的朋友其實比你想像的更喜歡你，且跟陌生人講話可促進幸福感。

But it can be hard to get started! Luckily there are some psychological tips you can use to master small talk.

可是要開始並不容易！幸好，有些你可以運用的心理學上的訣竅，讓你成為社交寒暄高手。

I'm Vanessa and you're watching BrainCraft, where we explore the psychology in your everyday life.

我是 Vanessa。你正在觀看 BrainCraft 頻道；在此頻道中我們探索日常生活裡的心理學。

First, you've probably experienced the liking gap.

首先，你可能曾經歷過「好感差距」。

In a recent study, researchers paired up two strangers to have a conversation.

在最近一項研究中，研究人員把兩位陌生人配對以進行對話。

They asked each person to rate how much they liked their partner and how much they thought their partner liked them.

他們請每個人評分自己有多喜歡談話的對象，以及覺得對方有多喜歡自己。

People consistently underestimated how much people liked them and enjoyed their company. Researchers called this "the liking gap."

大家都低估了對方喜歡自己和享受這段作伴的程度。研究者稱此現象為「好感差距」。

So, try not to worry about what people think – they probably like you more than you realize!

因此請試著不要擔心別人的想法——他們可能比你以為的更喜歡你呢！

Though you may still be wondering: How do you actually make small talk? Well, start by asking more questions!

不過你可能還是會想知道：寒暄到底要怎麼進行才好？就從更多發問開始吧！

People who ask questions during conversation have been rated as more likeable. Questions like "what do you do?" can be pretty dull.

交談中，提問的人被評為較討人喜歡。「你從事什麼工作？」之類的問題可能很無趣。

Instead, try to get to know the other person by asking: "What do you do for fun?"

相反地，試著問「你都做些什麼好玩的活動呢？」來認識對方。

"What's the best thing that's happened to you this year?" Or "What are you looking forward to?"

「今年你遇到最棒的一件事情是什麼呢？」或者，「你有什麼期待中的事嗎？」

"What excites you?" And remember that it's important to stay engaged in the conversation!

「有什麼令你興奮的事嗎？」而且記住，重點要保持對你們的談話很感興趣！

Asking follow-up questions is important – this shows you're actively listening.

提出後續問題很重要——這顯示你積極地在聆聽。

So, if the person mentions that they like traveling, ask where they've been or where they're going next.

因此，如果對方提到喜歡旅行，就問問他們去過哪裡，或是他們接下來要去哪旅行。

In a recent speed-dating study, those who asked more follow-up questions were more likely to get a second date.

在近期關於快速約會的研究中，那些詢問更多後續問題的人，更有可能獲得第二次的約會。

And give people your full attention — your actions matter too.

並且把所有注意力放在對方身上——你的一舉一動也很重要。

Studies have shown that people who texted during a conversation were seen as less polite and attentive, so put your phone away.

研究顯示在交談過程中傳訊息的人，顯得較沒禮貌、沒認真在傾聽，所以把手機放一邊吧。

Now you still might think that making small talk is about as much fun as swimming with sharks.

說到現在，你可能還是覺得進行寒暄大約跟與鯊魚同游，一樣「好玩」。

But it can actually have a lot of benefits for your professional and personal life!

但它其實能為你的職場與個人生活帶來不少好處！

For example, experts estimate that 3 out of 4 jobs are found through professional networking rather than a job ad.

舉例來說，專家估計四份工作裡就有三份是透過職場人脈覓得，而非徵才廣告。

And small talk can actually increase your sense of belonging.

而且寒暄確實能增進你的歸屬感。

Research has found that people report feeling happier when they chat with someone like a bartender or a barista and treated them more like an acquaintance than a stranger.

研究發現人們表示當自己跟調酒師或咖啡師交談時，以新朋友的方式相待而非陌生人，感覺會比較開心。

Even though you may think chatting to strangers is unpleasant, people report liking it more than they expected.

即使你可能認為與陌生人聊天不會愉快，但研究報告指出人們表示自己比原先預期的更喜歡這件事。

Just like any other skill, you can improve your small talk if you work at it.

就像任何其他技能一樣，只要努力嘗試，寒暄技巧就能獲得改善。

Casual interactions can be really positive experiences!

不經意的輕鬆互動可以是非常正面的體驗！

So with some practice and these tips, you can enjoy the big benefits of small talk.

所以經過練習再加以這些訣竅，你就能夠享受社交寒暄帶來的種種好處！