Every painting he does, he says it's gonna be a train.

他的每部畫作他都說會是列火車。

None of his paintings looks like trains, so I don't know where that comes from.

但他沒有一幅畫像火車。所以我不知道這樣的概念是哪來的。

Judy is a 15-year-old personality.

Judy 是個 15 歲的人格。

Uh, she sees herself as being overweight, so she's always on diets.

她總是覺得自己太胖，所以她永遠都在減肥。

A spirit of the water, she tends to be out just to have a shower.

她就像個水中幽魂，通常只是出來洗個澡而已。

Yeah, I mean, it... it's still me, but I just accept being called Kim.

沒錯，我還是我，我只是接受了自己被稱為 Kim。

I'm Kim Noble, and I'm an artist.

我是 Kim Noble，我是一位藝術家。

I also have, uh, dissociative identity disorder, which used to be the old multiple personality disorder.

我同時也患有解離性身分疾患，也就是過去俗稱的多重人格障礙。

It's when other personalities would take over the body.

當病發時其他人格會佔據我的身體。

It's caused from trauma, and the personality, uh, dissociates.

這是由創傷所造成的，人格會因此而解離。

So, for me, It's like sleepwalking.

所以對我來說就像夢遊一樣。

Somebody can say, "Oh, you've been, you know, up painting," and I have no memory of doing it.

有人可能會說，你剛剛有起來作畫過，而我完全不記得有做這件事。

The exhibition I'm putting on is for the Mental Health Foundation.

這個展覽是為了精神健康基金會所布置的。

They approached me, so I pulled in from my contemporary artists to the Greats.

他們聯絡上我所以我從引進當代藝術家作品到鬼才之作。

Great minds are often mistaken, aren't they?

鬼才常常都被埋沒，不是嗎？

- The difference with Kim is that you have no style. - Yeah.

- Kim 的不同之處在於它沒有特定的風格。- 是的。

It's not⏤you don't say, "Oh, that's the Kim noble."

你不會說，「噢，那是 Kim Noble 的畫作。」

Each picture shows a whole different side to you.

每一幅畫展現了妳完全不同的面相。

You know, people would said to me, "Well, come back when your style settles."

人們常常對我說：「等你整頓好自己的病後再回來畫吧！」

And it was, you know, never getting settled because they were individual artists having their own style.

但這是永遠無法整頓好的，因為他們各個是獨立的個體，有著自己作畫的風格。

I had to explain my mental health issues to explain the art because they came actually hand-in-hand.

我需要解釋我的疾病以解釋我的畫作，因為它們之間有密切的關聯性。

For me, it helps me learn about the other personalities and get a feel and understanding of them.

對我來說，畫畫幫助我認識其他人格並試著了解、感受他們。

And, you know, and that's the closest I'm gonna get to them.

而那正是最能接近各個人格的方法。 我必須去理解他們。

I'm Patricia still, but I just accept being called Kim.

我仍然是 Patricia，我只是接受了自己被稱為 Kim。

I'm the main personality now, but before, there was Bonny.

我是現在的主要人格，但之前還有個 Bonny。

Was a... was a main personality, so I would only probably be out two, three times perhaps a week.

他是過去的主要人格，所以那時我可能一個禮拜只會出來大概兩、三次。

At first there was only, I think, five, four, five of us painting.

一開始只有四、五個人格在畫畫。

And as time's gone on, other personalities have decided to paint as well.

而隨著時間過去，其他的人格也決定開始畫畫。

I started painting about 12 years ago.

我從 12 年前開始畫畫。

I had a support worker here that was a trainee art therapist.

在這裡我曾有個協助的同事是我的藝術治療師。

And she said, "Oh, why don't you get on and do some painting?

她曾說，你何不起來作一些畫呢？

I wa... I was sitting here chatting, and I said, "I'm not interested in painting; I don't know how to paint."

我那時正坐著聊天，我說，「我對畫畫沒興趣。我不知道要怎麼畫畫。」

And in the end, [I] decided to just have a go, and we didn't have any paper or anything, then use back of wallpaper.

無論如何最後我決定嘗試看看，那時我們能用的畫紙只有身後的壁紙。

And it's really really useful and helpful and healing.

它非常地有用、有幫助而且有療效。

Oh! This is, um, another room which I store the work in.

噢！它們在這。這是另一個我儲存畫作的房間。

I try to keep them in personalities like all Missy's are there.

我試著依照每個人格去分類畫作，像這邊都是 Missy 的。

This is Bonny's work. That's one of Judy's.

這邊是 Bonny 的畫作。這是 Judy 的其中一幅畫。

There's usually something in. I could see her face within there.

這裡通常有些什麼在裡面。我能看見這裡面有她的臉。

Can you see ? Yeah? And I'm not just imagining that. You see.

你看得到嗎？不是我自己想像的。你看。

This is one of Key's. That's the Cabala one.

這是 Key 的其中一幅畫。這是卡巴拉風格的。

Oh she does to see. I think that's Hebrew? I think I don't know.

她確實很有洞見。我想這些是希伯來文吧？我不確定。

These a lot here are Ria's.

這一堆是 Ria 的。

Ria, her work is very bright, and it's graphic of abuse.

Ria 的畫很鮮豔，而且圖像含有虐待的元素。

(I) had a lot of trouble with her work because her paintings are not the ones that people want to be put, you know, really on their walls.

我對她的作品感到很懊惱，因為她的作品不是一般人會想掛在牆上的那種畫。

Yeah, and that I see is dissociation.

而那邊我認為是解離的概念。

That is a print of that girl there.

那是那女孩的複印。

So..., and they've all got that on in some sort of way.

而且這些複印也出現在其他畫作上。

DID is coping mechanism, so I don't have any knowledge of any trauma so that I can then just gotten with my life.

解離性身分疾患是一種應對機制，所以我對於過去的創傷沒有任何記憶，也因此我可以繼續過我的生活。

I'm actually not affected by it.

我其實沒有受創傷影響。

Obviously somebody, like Ria, must have some memory of at all. I don't know.

顯然有些人格，像 Ria 可能就有一些創傷的記憶。我不知道。

I mean her paintings suggest she does.

她的畫暗示了她有。

I didn't know a personality was taken over because all line had is these memory gaps.

我不知道人格是如何被接管的，因為我總是會有記憶斷層。

But, you know, he didn't have a name. He didn't have...

但他沒有名字。他沒有......

I didn't have a diagnosis in them days.

那時候我的病還沒被診斷出來。

I was being treated for anything, but DID.

我當時被診斷成各種解離性身分疾患以外的疾病在治療。

One of the other personalities that I think it was 13, tried to take an overdose.

其中有個應該是 13 歲的人格，曾嘗試過度用藥自殺。

And so they were admitted to psychiatric unit and that was it.

因此我們被送到到精神疾病單位作救治。

From there, it was in that hospital.

從那時他就待在那醫院裡了。

This painting here is by a nun.

這幅畫是修女做的。

She's called a nun because we haven't managed to get her name yet.

她之所以叫修女是因為我們還沒辦法得知她的名字。

She just seems to pour on the paint so the paint's quite fresh.

她似乎會在畫上傾倒顏料，因此她的畫作非常鮮明。

I see it being very um.... It's very spiritual.

我是覺得它們......非常地有靈性。

A woman with all these little ones dancing around.

一個女子與一群小孩們共舞。

The next one here is a Missy's.

下一幅是 Missy 的畫作。

She will only use the three colors and she just splashes on the paint all the time just doing this, and flicking the paint.

她只用三個顏色做畫，而且她是將顏料揮灑在畫紙上像這樣做，然後輕彈她的畫作。

And when Aimee was younger, she used to like going up there and getting splattered with paint(s).

當 Aimee 還小的時候，她喜歡走到她的畫上去然後被顏料噴地滿身都是。

Aimee's now 20.

Aimee 現在 20 歲了。

When she was born, Social Services actually said that we would be unfit to bring her up.

當她出生的時候，社福單位說我們不適合扶養她長大。

Um, so they removed her birth, and was putting her up for adoption.

所以他們把寶寶拿走，然後為她尋找領養的人家。

I wasn't there at the birth so to me I didn't give birth to her.

懷孕的時候並不是我接管身體的，所以並不是我生下了她。

But obviously I know that the body did, and you know Amy's mine as much as any of the other personalities.

但很顯然我知道是我的身體生的，而 Aimee 是我的，如同她也屬於其他人格一樣。

So you know I don't want Aimee to feel that she's not mine because she is mine.

所以我不希望 Aimee 覺得她不屬於我，因為她就是我的孩子。

Obviously, you know our first priority has always been Aimee.

很顯然地，我們總是以 Aimee 為我們的首要考量，

And if I thought any of the other personalities would harm Aimee, you know I wouldn't want her to be with us.

如果有其他任何一個人格想要傷害 Aimee，我們就不會讓她跟我們在一起。

But they did not even know me. They gave me like an hour assessment, (and) said, "No removed child, removed child."

但是他們連我都不認識。給了我一個一小時的評估測驗，就說要拿走我的小孩。

You know, my own therapist who recommended I went (go) for a proper assessment in a mother and baby unit.

我自己的治療師建議我到親子相關單位做個適當的測驗。

She was ignored.

她的意見卻受到忽略。

We did go through the court system, and she came back to live with us after six months.

我們確實走上法律程序，而六個月後她回來與我們同住。

That's why a lot of the paintings that you know you'll see... yeah. Oh! Look! There. There are Nun's.

這是為什麼在很多畫作中你能看到...，噢！看！那裏。那些是修女的畫作。

Even the nun who has got nothing to do with anything as far as I'm concerned, but you know even her, there's a mother and child.

甚至連就我所知跟這些記憶無關的修女，她的畫作中也有媽媽跟嬰孩。

This is Susy's.

這是 Susy 的畫。

When she was first painting, all she kept painting was that: mother and baby, mother and baby.

當她一開始畫畫的時候，她就一直重複畫媽媽與嬰孩。

And then one day she done a painting, and when you pull it back, there's no baby.

有天她完成了一幅畫，然後當你拉開它，裡面卻沒有嬰孩。

So all our paintings have been mother and baby, mother and baby, mother and baby.

所有她的畫都是媽媽和嬰孩，全都是媽媽和嬰孩。

And then this ones got a curtain over it. The baby's gone.

而這幅有一窗簾蓋著。 打開看小孩卻不見了。

It's actually really sad, but she never done anymore of those after that.

這其實挺悲傷的，但那之後她就再也沒有作這類母子的畫。

That's something that obviously is deep-rooted and has a knock-on effect.

過去顯然對她有很根深柢固的連鎖反應。

And now you know 20 years on she's doing a law degree. You know in her final at uni.

現在二十年過去了，而我女兒正在修習法律學位。在大學的最後一年。

She's a well-adjusted young person.

她是一位意志堅強的年輕人。

I think we're all touched by mental illness in some shape or form.

我想我們每個人多少都有心理上的病痛，只是有形式上的差別。

I hope you're going to understand as well that if you have mental illness, it doesn't necessarily have to be a barrier to anything you want to do.

我希望你們能了解，即使你有心理上的疾病，它並不一定要成為你追夢的阻礙。

Quite a few of the artists are in the show and have got mental health issues.

這次展覽中有許多的藝術家都有心理健康方面的問題。

It is successfully what they do.

而這些展品正是他們成功做到的。

I, definitely, I prefer doodle artwork.

我絕對比較偏愛塗鴉的作品。

There is no doubt. I love those two pieces. Those are my favorite pieces.

無庸置疑。我愛這兩幅畫作。它們是我最喜歡的畫。

I never wanna sold ever cause I like them a lot.

我從不想賣掉它們，因為我太愛這些畫了。

I can relate to the person in them.

我能跟畫中的人物產生連結。

I feel like I can see that, perhaps, they've gone through (a) kind of a struggle.

我覺得我或許能看到畫中人物經歷過的某種傷痛。

I'm just so proud that I think. No, it's true, though.

我感到非常地驕傲。不，我是說真的。

Because I feel like she's just come such a long way from where her art was until now, and to see every personality exhibited in one room.

因為我覺得她從過去所畫的到今天所有人格的畫作齊聚一堂，她經歷了好長一段路。

It's a bit... I don't know, I guess overwhelming.

這有點......太不可思議了。

It's um, well, for you it's really.

我想對你來說絕對是的。

It's something nice about you know actually being classified down as an artist rather than just you know somebody weird.

能被稱為一名畫家而不是一個怪人其實挺棒的。

I meant it helps you see that.

它幫助你看到自己的價值。

I don't want to define me, but I don't think anybody with a mental health issue does.

我不想要定義我自己，但我不覺得任何有心理疾病問題的人會想。

I Think I have heard that some people do integrate and become one personality.

我有聽說有些患者確實整合成一個完整的人格。

I've been told that I can't integrate because my brain is as there are different pathways.

我有被告知說我無法被整合，因為我的腦有不同的反映路徑。

And so it would be very difficult, if not impossible, to integrate.

因此對我來說如果不是不可能，就是會非常難去整合。

But before even being told that, because that was later on after my diagnosis, I never entered therapy wanting integration.

但就算是在被這樣告知之前，因為這是後來診斷後才得知的，我也從未想要進行整合人格的治療。

I just thought that, you know, who are going to be left with?

我只是想，人格整合後剩下的我會是誰？

I just used to too many artists.

我早就習慣腦子裡住著一堆藝術家了。