Served with the United States Marine Corps from 2007 to 2012.

2007年至2012年在美國海軍陸戰隊服役。

We were clearing out a building and there was an IED in the doorway.

我們正在清理一棟樓，門口有一個簡易爆炸裝置。

And I think out of 13 people, I was the last guy that walked into the building, with my Junior Marine behind me and I stepped on that IED.

我想在13個人中，我是最後一個走進大樓的人， 我的初級海軍陸戰隊員在我身後，我踩到了簡易爆炸裝置。

I awoke in the hospital where my left leg was fully wrapped, but my right leg was gone completely below the knee.

我在醫院醒來時，左腿已經完全包紮好了，但右腿膝蓋以下完全沒了。

And I was at Balboa Hospital where I was stationed and where I did my rehabilitation in there.

我在巴爾博亞醫院，我在那裡駐紮，我在那裡做了我的康復。

I felt regret 'cause my guys were still out there and I was, you know, in the hospital, and I couldn't do anything.

我感到遺憾，因為我的人還在外面 而我，你知道，在醫院裡，我什麼也做不了。

Once I was pushed to being outpatient is where depression kind of kicked in a little bit more for me.

一旦我被推到門診就是抑鬱症那種對我來說更多一點的地方。

Where I felt a little not myself, I guess.

在那裡我覺得有點不是自己，我想。

I started abusing my medication, my pain meds.

我開始濫用藥物，我的止痛藥。

I didn't really need it as much as I did before for the pain.

我並不像以前那樣需要它來止痛。

It was very hard to find that glimmer of hope or light at the time.

當時很難找到那一絲希望或光明。

One day I was just in bed and just had to ask myself,

有一天，我剛躺在床上，就不得不問自己。

you know, like, "What do I--" like, "Why am--" like, kind of ask myself, "Why am I here?"

你知道，就像，"我做什麼... ..." 就像，"為什麼我... ..." 就像，問自己，"為什麼我在這裡？"

"Why am I still alive?" Talking to someone, I only had my one friend that I-I trusted, and it took a while for us to kind of trust each other.

"為什麼我還活著？"和人說話，我只有我一個朋友，我--我信任的朋友，我們花了一段時間才算是互相信任。

I opened up to him, you know, like, vaguely, and slowly just continued to open up to him, and it felt good to be able to talk to someone, and be able to have someone understand you.

我向他敞開了心扉，你知道的，就像，含糊其辭，慢慢地就繼續向他敞開心扉，能和別人說話的感覺很好，能讓別人理解你。

To where-- if I talk to my friends, you know, they wouldn't be able to understand where I'm coming from.

如果我跟我的朋友們說，你知道，他們不會明白我的來意。

I didn't really talk to a therapist until, like, the last year to where I realized, you know, like, maybe there's things for me to talk-- that I should probably talk about.

我並沒有真正跟一個治療師，直到一樣，去年 我意識到，你知道，像，也許有事情 我談 - 我也許應該談談。

My therapist kinda just allowed me to talk, and she would ask me questions here and there, and after a certain while, I would just open up, and I would just talk and talk a and she would just listen.nd talk,

我的治療師只是允許我說話， 她會問我問題，在這裡和那裡， 並在一定的時間後，我就會打開， 我只是說，說一個和她只是聽，nd談。

I guess for me I had to just keep asking myself--every morning I would wake up, you know, like, "Why am I still alive?" Just, like, trying to find that purpose for me-- or myself at least.

我想對我來說，我不得不不停地問自己... ... 每天早上醒來，你知道，像，"為什麼我還活著？"只是一樣，試圖找到 我的目的 - 或我自己至少。

Decided to ask myself, you know, like, "What makes me happy?"

決定問自己，你知道，就像，"什麼讓我快樂？"

Um, and I realized at that point, you know, making other people happy makes me happy.

嗯，我意識到，在這一點上，你知道，讓別人快樂讓我快樂。

So I started to get into, like, Paralympics camps, so that got me out of the room.

所以我開始進入，比如，殘奧會的訓練營，所以讓我離開了這個房間。

It kind of started that mindset or that slight change of to where I'm--I can still do something with my life.

它開始了那種心態，或者說我的心態發生了輕微的變化... ...我仍然可以用我的生命做一些事情。

Being a part of, you know, active people encouraged me to be more active, and when you see another amputee doing something that you thought you couldn't do, you're just like, "I wanna do that, but better."

成為活躍人群中的一員 鼓勵我更加活躍 當你看到另一個截肢者做著你認為做不到的事情時 你就會想 "我也想做，但要做得更好"

And I've always wanted to be better and better because it's challenging myself because I thought I couldn't do any of these things, and now I'm doing many things I probably would have never done if I wasn't injured.

而我一直想變得越來越好，因為這是對自己的挑戰，因為我以為我做不到這些事情，現在我做了很多事情，如果我沒有受傷，我可能永遠不會做。

I've, you know, done motivational speaking, I've climbed the highest mountain in Antarctica, I've, you know, challenged myself, I've pushed myself.

我做過勵志演講，我爬過南極洲最高的山，我挑戰過自己，我逼迫過自己。

I've done all these things that I never would have thought have been possible.

我所做的這些事情，我從來沒有想過是可能的。

But making that first step of just--from when I was in the hospital, making that step to where it was just like, "I don't want to be this way," and making that change.

但邁出的第一步 只是 - 從當我在醫院， 使這一步，它只是喜歡， "我不希望是這樣的，" 並作出改變。

I've been able to grow in a more positive direction, but it doesn't negate that I have my down days.

我已經能夠朝著更積極的方向成長，但這並不能否定我有谷底的日子。

I still have my depression days, but I know how to control them.

我仍然有抑鬱的日子，但我知道如何控制它們。

You know, I know how to work with them rather then work against them.

你知道，我知道如何與他們合作，而不是與他們作對。

And I feel that's why I still continue to seek therapy.

我覺得這就是為什麼我還在繼續尋求治療。

'Cause I've found that it does help.

因為我發現它確實有幫助。