You're wrong!

錯了!

Unless you got it right

除非你說對了

Then good job!

那麼 幹得不錯!

They are of course Honduras and El Salvador

他們理所當然的是宏都拉斯及薩爾瓦多

One thing these two countries have in common is being fanatic about Football

(這裡的足球是football 英式英文叫法) 這兩個國家的共通點是他們都對"足球"有著瘋狂的迷戀

Or if you're a freedom-loving patriot , Soccer

(soccer是美式英文叫法 "自由國度的愛國者"是指美國人) 或者你是個自由國度的愛國者 "足球"

But do they love it so much, they would go to war over it?

但他們有可能會為了對足球的熱愛而發生戰爭嗎?

You bet they would

他們絕對會

And that is NO BUENO

(no bueno是西班牙文"不好"的意思) 而那絕對是件壞事

If you look at these two countries you might notice one major difference, and that is that this one is a lot bigger than this one

(超簡化系列) (小戰爭系列 第二集 - 足球戰爭)

However, this one had a larger population than this one, made up mostly of farmers

如果你仔細看這兩個國家會發現一個主要的差別

And there wasn't enough land for them to live and work on, so they started moving from El Salvador to Honduras in search of land

那就是宏都拉斯比薩爾瓦多大得多

And by the 1960s a huge number of illegal immigrants had crossed over the border from El Salvador

但是薩爾瓦多的人口較多 而主要由農民組成

Meanwhile in Honduras, it's 1963 and this guy has just staged a military coup to prevent the rise of Communism

所以他們沒有多餘的土地來維生了 所以他們開始移民到宏都拉斯來找尋更多的耕作地

And is now the military leader of the country

而至1960年代為止 有30萬非法移民跨越薩宏邊境

He immediately began harassing the peasants' unions and other left-wing groups

(奧斯瓦爾多 洛佩斯 阿雷利亞諾) 同時在宏都拉斯 1963年 這傢伙剛發起了一場軍事政變 來對抗在加勒比海崛起的共產勢力

But he's a little insecure about the legitimacy of his leadership, so he holds an election and wins

而他現在是國家的軍事領導人了

But then the opposing party says, "Hey man, that election was clearly corrupt and fraudulent

他馬上開始騷擾農民工會及其他左翼團體

And also you've been bribed by the rich American banana companies who are taking all of our bananas tax-free

但他開始感到他非法奪取政權的危險性 所以他舉辦了一場選舉 並贏得了選舉

And now our economy is in ruins"

但敵對政黨則說: "喂老兄 這選舉很明顯的貪汙腐敗且欺騙大眾"

And everyone started to get mad at him

"而且你也被富有的美國香蕉公司賄賂 而他們沒付關稅就幹走我們很多的香蕉"

Now if you ever find yourself the barely

"現在我們的經濟已經垮掉了"

legitimate military leader of a corrupt Central American country and you start getting into hot water

然後所有人都開始責怪他

Here's a bit of advice that has been tried and tested throughout the centuries

現在如果你發現

Blame something else

你只是個非法上任的腐敗中美洲國家的軍事領導者 而且你開始變成熱鍋上的螞蟻了

So he blamed the Salvadoran immigrants for stealing all the land and all the jobs and ruining Honduras

這裡有個百年用不爛的建議

The immigrants found themselves under attack by the hostile locals

怪在其他人身上

Egged on by the rich American banana companies who wanted all the bananas to themselves

所以他怪罪在薩爾瓦多的非法移民身上 因為他們偷走了土地及工作 並搞垮了宏都拉斯

The Honduran government began evicting Salvadoran immigrants

這些移民開始遭到當地憤怒人民的攻擊

Who had been living on the land for generations

被想要所有香蕉的富有美國香蕉公司慫恿

And started sending them back to El Salvador

宏都拉斯政府開始驅逐薩爾瓦多移民

The Salvadoran elite were furious and protested, citing moral reasons

而那些移民已經在此居住幾個世代了

But in reality, they were just getting a little too crowded

並開始把他們送回薩爾瓦多

So tensions were about as high as they could be, but then

薩爾瓦多的高層對此十分惱火 並表達人道主義上的抗議

FOOOOTBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL

但事實上 他們只是人口密度太高了

It's the 1970 World Cup qualifiers and both countries finished top of their qualifying tables

緊張氣氛正在變得越來越高 但是...

So it's now time for them to play against each other in a series of matches

足球~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first match took place in Honduras

(第三組) (第四組) (宏都拉斯) (薩爾瓦多) (哥斯大黎加?) (荷屬圭亞那還是個國家嗎?還是承認吧) (我不知道 大概是瓜地馬拉吧 隨便啦) (到底為甚麼我要幹這些鳥事 你真的想看的話去查維基啦) (喔對了 別忘了按個喜歡跟訂閱喔) 1970年世足盃預賽 且兩國都拿到了能夠晉級的門票

The night before the game, Hondurans gathered outside the Salvadoran team's hotel making noise and taunting them

(1969年6月8日 15日 26日) 所以在賽程中 他們對決的時刻到了

The next day, Honduras defeated the exhausted Salvadorans with a late 90th minute goal

(特古西加爾巴 首都) 第一場比賽在宏都拉斯舉行

After the match, a young Salvadoran fan, unable to bear her country's defeat, shot herself

比賽前晚 宏國民眾聚集在薩國選手居住的飯店前 製造噪音並挑釁他們

Disturbingly, the Salvadoran government glorified the incident and made her into a national hero

隔天 宏國在最後的90分鐘擊敗了疲累的薩國選手

And at the next game, fans brought pictures of her to the stadium

(阿梅莉亞 波拉紐斯) 比賽後 一位年輕的薩國粉絲 無法承受祖國落敗的結果 開槍自殺了

Emotions were running high as the next match took place in El Salvador and this time the tables were turned

(薩爾瓦多報 阿梅莉亞 波利紐斯 一位國家英雄) 令人不安的是 薩國政府讚揚了這次事件 並將他塑造成了一位國家英雄

The Hondurans had to endure a sleepless night in their hotel

下一場比賽 薩國粉絲把他的相片帶到了足球場

And the next day, before the match started, instead of the Honduran flag, the Salvadorans raised a dirty rag

傷感高漲的同時 下一場比賽在薩國舉辦 而薩國粉絲為了此事復仇

So great job at reducing tensions

宏國選手必須在飯店忍受這難眠的夜晚

El Salvador won decisively over the exhausted Hondurans

隔天 在比賽開始前 薩國升起了一張破爛骯髒的旗子 而不升起宏國國旗

While spectators battled in the stands, team Honduras fled home in a bulletproof bus with rocks being thrown at them

所以在使緊張情勢升溫上 幹得不錯

And the Honduran coach reportedly told his players that they were lucky they lost

薩國選手完勝了疲累的宏國選手

In response to the defeat

而觀眾席上 械鬥到處都是 宏國隊伍在一台防彈巴士 伴隨著石頭丟在巴士上的聲響 回到了祖國

Hondurans began terrorising the Salvadoran settlers even more

而宏國隊伍的教練說他們輸掉是件幸運的事

In some cases reportedly throwing them off their land and burning down their homes

因為落敗的結果

And the immigrants began fleeing back to El Salvador

宏國人毆打欺凌薩國移民的情況變得更嚴重了

The final game in Mexico would decide who went to the World Cup

據說還將他們逐出他們的耕地並燒掉他們的房子

It was close

而移民開始逃回薩國

But El Salvador came out victorious, knocking Honduras out of the tournament

而最後一場在墨西哥的比賽會決定誰會晉級世足盃

The atmosphere was riotous, literally

比數十分接近

And back in Honduras attacks on the Salvadoran immigrants further increased

但薩國成為了勝者 並將洪國踢出了比賽

This was too much for El Salvador to bear, with its people under attack

氣氛十分的暴亂 十分的

And an unmanageable refugee crisis on its hands

回到宏國 對薩國移民的攻擊更加擴大

El Salvador severed all diplomatic ties with Honduras and declared WAR

對薩國而言 無法接受人民遭受如此的對待

The Football War is also known as the 100 Hours War because that's how long it lasted

而無法控制的難民潮就要發生了

Making it one of the shortest wars in history

薩國撕毀了所有對宏國的外交條約 並宣戰了

El Salvador started by carrying out air raids in strat egic locations within Honduras

足球戰爭也被稱為"百時戰爭" 因為他只持續了這樣的時間

Including Toncontin International Airport

讓他成為了歷史上最短的戰爭之一

Which prevented the Honduran Air Force from getting into the sky

薩軍開始空襲宏國的戰略要地

Then, with their superior army, they began an invasion along two major roads complete with light tanks and infantry

包含通康丁國際機場

Their advance was rapid and they were quickly approaching the Honduran capital

阻止了宏國空軍升空

Then the Organization of American States met in a bit of a panic

而有了一支能輾壓對方的軍隊 他們開始沿著兩條交通要道以輕戰車及步兵發起進攻

And unanimously agreed that war between El Salvador and Honduras

進軍十分迅速 已經要抵達宏國首都門口了

Was a bad thing and probably shouldn't continue

(以下簡稱OAS) 然後美洲國家組織開始有點擔心了

So they went to El Salvador and said, "can you please stop invading?"

一致認同薩國與宏國之間的戰爭

And El Salvador declared, "NOT UNTIL THEY STOP BEING JERKS!!!!"

(戰爭是壞的) (戰爭是不好的) 是一件壞事 且不應該持續

And so the war went on

所以他們跑去薩國並說:"可以停止侵略嗎?"

The Honduran Air Force finally got into the sky

薩國宣明:"除非他們不要再當個機掰人 不然不要!!!!"

And with aid from neighboring Nicaragua

所以戰爭持續進行

They successfully carried out air raids in Salvadoran air bases and oil facilities

宏國空軍終於升空了

Crippling the Salvadoran supply line and stopping their advance dead

而來自鄰國尼加拉瓜的援助

Caught in a bit of a stalemate, the situation was no longer advantageous to El Salvador

他們成功的空襲了薩國空軍基地及煉油設施

So when the Organization of American States once again asked them to stop and agreed to ensure the safety of the Salvadoran immigrants

切斷了薩軍補給線並阻止了他們的進攻

El Salvador relented and a ceasefire was organized on the 18th of July

兩軍陷入膠著 情勢對薩軍而言已不再保有優勢了

Then the OAS said, "can you now please withdraw your troops from Honduras?"

所以當OAS再問他們能不能停止進攻 並同意確保薩國移民的安全時

"No"

薩國同意了 在7月18日簽訂了停火協議

- "Please" - "No"

然後OAS說:"那現在你可以撤回在宏國的軍隊嗎?"

- "Please" - "No"

"不"

- "Please" - "No"

"拜託" "不"

"Do it or we'll sanction you"

"拜託" "不"

"You know what?"

"拜託" "不"

"Just for you"

"撤軍 不然就制裁你"

"I'll do it"

"你知道嗎?"

So El Salvador pulled its troops out of Honduras on the 2nd of August and with casualties in the thousands,

"為了你這番言論"

The war was over

"我就撤軍吧"

The economies of both nations were damaged by the war

(6000人死亡 15000人受傷) 所以薩國在8月2日撤回在宏國的軍隊 造成了數千人的傷亡

And El Salvador didn't have the capability to take care of all the returning immigrants

戰爭結束了

A crisis that eventually helped cause a civil war

兩國的經濟都因戰爭而受損

The war left behind land and border disputes

而薩國沒有足夠的能力去照顧所有返國的移民

Some of which are still a cause of tension to this day

(我們有些甜蜜的街角給你們住喔!) 這場危機甚至導致了內戰

El Salvador went on to play in the World Cup, but lost every match they played

戰爭留下了領土與邊境爭議

And didn't make it past the group stage

有些則仍然在今日造成緊張局面

So in the end nobody achieved anything and there were no winners

(比利時 墨西哥 蘇聯) 薩國晉級到了世足盃 但輸了每一局比賽

Except for this guy

也沒有撐過團體賽