Have you ever had a weird hobby that you've kept a secret?

你有沒有什麼特殊嗜好是別人都不知道的？

Or maybe there is a song or a TV show that you only watch when you're alone, because you don't want your friends to know about it.

或是可能有一首歌、一齣電視節目是你獨自一人的時候才會看，因為不想讓朋友知道。

These are all things that would happen to me.

這些事情都曾發生在我身上。

And it's because I used to care deeply about what other people thought about me.

原因是我曾過度在乎別人對我的看法。

But there was one moment in my life, where that feeling of caring just went away forever.

但曾經在我人生中的某個瞬間，這種在意他人的感覺一下子稍縱即逝了。

And I'm gonna tell you about it right now.

所以現在我要來告訴你是這是怎麼發生的。

Back when I was living in Melbourne, Australia, I met this really popular YouTuber named Adrian Gee.

我當時還住在澳洲墨爾本，我遇見一位非常受歡迎的 YouTuber 叫 Adrian Gee。

And he would film these crazy YouTube pranks.

他會拍攝一些瘋狂的 YouTube 整人節目。

And I remember one day, he asked me to help him film a video.

我記得有一天，他請我幫他拍攝一支影片。

And I said, "Sure."

我說「好啊。」

And he told me the title of the video was going to be "Making Inappropriate Noises In The Library Prank".

他跟我說影片標題是「在圖書館發出擾人聲音之整人節目」。

Where he would basically pretend to talk dirty to his girlfriend in a public library.

基本上他就是要假裝在公共圖書館和女友電愛。

And even though I thought the video was silly, stupid and obnoxious, it taught me a really valuable life lesson.

雖然我覺得這影片很愚蠢又令人反感，它卻給我上了非常寶貴的一堂人生課。

When he was making all of those noises, people obviously cared at first.

當他製造這些聲音，很顯然大家起初很介意。

But after a couple of minutes, people kind of just stopped caring.

但幾分鐘過後，大家似乎也沒那麼在乎了。

They would go back to reading their book, watching their YouTube video, or back to scrolling through Facebook.

他們會回去看自己原本在看的書、在看的 YouTube 影片，或是繼續滑 Facebook。

They would act as if nothing had happened.

好像什麼都沒發生過一樣。

And at first, I was shocked by this.

起初我很驚訝。

I couldn't believe it was happening.

我簡直不敢相信。

But after I started learning more about people and about human psychology, it actually started to make more sense.

但隨著我開始慢慢了解人、以及人類心理學，這件事也開始變得合理。

The average person is incredibly self-absorbed, and they don't really care about you.

大部分的人都極度自戀，他們其實不怎麼在乎你。

They are much more concerned with their plans for the weekend, or how many likes their last Instagram picture got.

他們更關心自己週末有哪些計畫、自己最新一張 Instagram 照片有幾個人按讚。

They're so wrapped up in their own world;

他們是如此沈浸在自己的世界裡；

That they don't have the mental bandwidth to think about anyone else but themselves for more than five minutes.

根本沒有多餘的心力去想自己以外的人，五分鐘不到他們就會把焦點放回自己身上了。

And it's kinda funny, because I think, to some extent, we all kind of know this.

這蠻有趣的，因為我認為某種程度上來說，我們其實都知道人皆如此。

Yet, we're still hesitant to go and ask out that person who we find attractive.

然而我們面對喜歡的人、想約對方出來，依舊躊躇不前。

Or just talk openly about some weird interests that we might have.

或者我們依舊無法坦白地說自己有哪些奇怪的興趣。

And, I think, some of you are probably thinking, "Well, Mitch, I don't care about what random people think about me."

你們有些人現在心裡應該正想著：「欸 Mitch，我不在乎那些無關緊要的人怎麼想我啊！」

"I care about what my family and my friends think about me."

「我在乎的是，我的家人朋友是怎麼看待我的。」

And here's my answer to that.

而我會這麼說：

If you're talking to a friend about a hobby that you're actually passionate about, and they're not open to it.

當你跟一位朋友提到一個你非常熱衷的興趣，而他們卻不太能接受。

Or they, I don't know, want to immediately end the friendship because of it.

或是他們可能想因此立刻解除朋友關係。

Then they probably weren't really your friend in the first place.

那麼他們可能打從一開始就不是你真正的朋友。

So it's actually good to get rid of the wrong friends, to make room for the right ones.

所以讓這些人離開，把位置留給真正對的人，其實是件好事。

The less you care about what other people think of you, the more people will actually like you.

對於他人的眼光，你在乎的越少，就會有越多人真正喜歡你。

It's why we're all so attracted to people who come across as authentic or real, and we're so turned off by fake people.

這就是為什麼我們都被那些給人感覺可靠、真實的人所吸引，而不喜歡虛偽的人。

And authentic and fake are just fancy words for people who are comfortable and not comfortable expressing who they really are.

真實和虛偽其實就也只是形容一個人對於表達自我感到自在，或不自在的字眼。

So, even though we consciously know this, it is still hard for us to be ourselves.

所以即便我們對這件事都有自覺、也都了解，做自己對我們而言依然是一件很困難的事。

And this is because we're all afraid of our true self getting rejected by the world, which will really hurt our ego.

這是因為我們都害怕真正的自己會被整個世界拒於門外，這真的會很傷自尊心。

So, we would rather keep up our fake public persona.

因此我們寧可保留自己對外的假面具。

I've said this before, but my all-time favorite analogy for how you should live your life, is the songbird.

我之前說過，關於我們該怎麼度過這一生，我一直以來最喜歡的比喻是當一隻「愛唱歌的小鳥」。

Imagine you're walking down the street, and you hear a bird chirping, and you think to yourself, "Wow, this bird sounds amazing.

想像自己走在路上，你聽到一隻小鳥吱吱叫，心想：「哇，這隻小鳥的聲音真棒。」

"I love this bird."

「我好愛這隻鳥。」

But your friend next to you thinks, "God, this bird sounds terrible, I hate this bird."

但你身旁的朋友認為：「天啊，這隻鳥的聲音糟透了，我討厭這隻鳥。」

That bird does not care about your love or your friend's hate.

那隻小鳥並不在乎你對牠的喜愛，或是你朋友對牠的厭惡。

That bird is just gonna keep doing what he does best and sing his song.

那隻鳥依舊唱著牠的歌，做牠最拿手的事情。

Be like the bird and keep singing your song.

我們都應該像那隻小鳥一樣，繼續唱著自己的歌。

Not everyone is going to like the way you sound, but the ones who do like you, will like you for you.

並不會每個人都喜歡聽你的歌聲，但那些喜歡的人會因為你是你，而喜歡你。

And the connection with those people will be real and meaningful.

你和這些人的關係會是真實且有意義的。

Check out my last video about the one habit that will make you happy and successful, and I'll see you there.

想知道哪個習慣能帶你到達快樂成功的人生嗎？趕快來看我的上一部影片，我們到時候見。