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  • Ever since I was a young boy growing up in Brooklyn, I have loved Spider-Man.

    身為一個從小在布魯克林長大的孩子,我一直都很喜歡蜘蛛人。

  • I read the comics.

    我看蜘蛛人漫畫。

  • I had the lunchbox.

    我有蜘蛛人圖案的午餐盒。

  • I slept on a Spider-Man pillow until I was married, I think.

    我到結婚前都還睡在蜘蛛人枕頭上。

  • [laughter]

    [笑]

  • And now a dream I had on that pillow is about to come true.

    現在,我睡在那枕頭上的夢終於要實現了。

  • Because on July 2, I will be part of the new Spider-Man movie.

    因為 7 月 2 日我會出現在新的蜘蛛人電影裡。

  • Thank you.

    謝謝大家。

  • [applause]

    [掌聲]

  • Now, usually Marvel is very secretive about the footage, releasing scenes from these movies.

    通常漫威對這些鏡頭、這些電影片段保密到家。

  • But in this case, for some reason, they were OK with me showing this exclusive extended excelsior scene from Spider-Man: Far From Home.

    但因為某些原因,對於我公開這個《蜘蛛人:離家日》的獨家片段,他們沒有異議。

  • [music playing]

    [播放配樂]

  • [ding]

    [叮]

  • Hey, Joe.

    嗨,Joe。

  • Picking up.

    取衣。

  • Hey, Peter Parker, my number one customer.

    嘿,Peter Parker,我的頭號顧客。

  • [applause]

    [掌聲]

  • Fourth time this week.

    這禮拜第四次了。

  • Yeah, well, you know me.

    對,你了解我嘛!

  • I just love dry cleaning.

    我就是喜歡乾洗。

  • That's what I love about you.

    這就是為何我愛你。

  • A lot of these Millennials, they don't care about dry cleaning.

    很多 80 後的年輕人都不乾洗。

  • They've got washing machines.

    他們有洗衣機。

  • - It's disgusting, quite frankly. It really is. - It's sad, it's really sad.

    - 其實滿噁心的,老實說。 - 非常可悲,真的。

  • Anyway, let me get your stuff here.

    總之,我把你的衣服拿過來。

  • Oh.

    噢。

  • That's you, right?

    這是你的吧?

  • [laughter]

    [笑]

  • - That's me, yes. - All right.

    - 是我的沒錯。 - 好。

  • Thank you so much. Oh my god.

    非常感謝你,天啊。

  • Hey, kid, listen.

    嘿孩子,聽著。

  • It's, uh, not my business to get into your personal balls or whatever.

    你的私事不甘我的事。

  • But can I ask you a question?

    但我可以問個問題嗎?

  • Mmm, yeah, sure.

    嗯嗯,當然可。

  • Why you get your pajamas cleaned every two days?

    為何你兩天要洗一次睡衣?

  • [laughter]

    [笑]

  • Because I, uh--I sweat a lot when I sleep.

    因為我......我睡覺時流很多汗。

  • I have a sweaty syndrome.

    我有流汗症候群。

  • - Sweaty sleep syndrome. - You're a sweaty Betty.

    - 睡間盜汗症候群。 - 你是流汗寶寶。

  • [laughter] That's right.

    [笑] 沒錯。

  • That's correct.

    沒錯。

  • My brother was like that, you know.

    我弟也是這樣。

  • - He was? Shame. - Oh, yeah.

    - 是喔?真遺憾。 - 是啊。

  • He used to-- it was like a puddle.

    他以前-- 就像一攤水一樣。

  • [laughter] We slept on bunk beds.

    [笑] 我們睡上下舖。

  • He'd be on top dripping on me all night.

    他睡在上鋪,整晚汗都滴在我身上。

  • - Oh, man. - It's disgusting.

    - 天啊。 - 超噁。

  • It's not good.

    真糟糕。

  • What about the holes?

    那衣服上的洞呢?

  • The hole-- the holes?

    洞?

  • Yeah, the holes.

    對啊,洞。

  • It almost looked like if, uh, some kind of a mechanical octopus arm had taken a chunk out of the fabric.

    看起來像某種機械章魚手臂把一大塊的布料抓破。

  • [laughter]

    [笑]

  • That's easy to explain.

    這很好解釋。

  • Um, it's the, uh, um--

    嗯...這是...。

  • - Moths? - Moths.

    - 飛蛾? - 飛蛾。

  • - Massive moths, right. - That's what I thought it was.

    - 巨大飛蛾,沒錯。 - 我也這麼認為。

  • Anyway, I don't see my mask in here.

    總之,我沒看到我的面罩欸。

  • Do you have my mask?

    有我的面罩嗎?

  • Oh, Connie, where's his mask?

    Connie,他的面罩在哪?

  • Under the counter, stupid.

    笨笨,在櫃台底下。

  • [laughter]

    [笑]

  • Underneath-- oh, all right. All right.

    下面......喔沒錯。

  • - Hey, Connie. - Oh, here we go.

    - 嘿 Connie。 - 找到了。

  • That's you, right?

    這是你的吧?

  • No, that's Matt's mask.

    不,這是 Matt 的面罩 (夜魔俠)。

  • Mine's the one with the white eyes.

    我的面罩眼部周圍是白色的。

  • Oh, right, right, right, right, right.

    噢,對對對對對。

  • All right, here you go.

    好,給你。

  • That's Wade's mask.

    那是 Wade 的面罩 (死侍)。

  • White eyes with--

    白色眼睛還有--。

  • Connie, it's Wade's mask.

    Connie,這是 Wade 的面罩。

  • OK, I don't care.

    好,我不在乎。

  • Red one. Little red.

    紅色、小紅那頂。

  • White eyes. That's you, right?

    白色眼睛,你的吧?

  • Yeah, that's the one. Thank you.

    對,就是這個,謝謝。

  • - Thank you. - Beautiful.

    - 謝謝。 - 太棒了。

  • All right.

    好。

  • Breaking news.

    新聞快報。

  • New York's very own Spider-Man swung into action this afternoon on the Brooklyn Bridge, saving a bus full of senior citizens from certain death.

    紐約的蜘蛛人今日下午於布魯克林大橋快速行「盪」,拯救載滿年長者的公車。

  • Thanks to the masked hero's efforts, all 35 people on the bus returned home safely.

    由於這位蒙面英雄的努力,全車 35 人已安全返家。

  • [ominous music playing]

    [播著不祥的配樂]

  • That nutball on TV, he's got the same goofy PJs you got.

    電視上那瘋子有跟你一樣的可笑睡衣。

  • He does.

    確實。

  • Hey, I know what's going on here.

    嘿,我知道來龍去脈了。

  • You are an influencer.

    你是個人物。

  • [laughter]

    [笑]

  • What are you on, Instagram or Snapface?

    IG 還是 Snapface 名人?

  • Snapface.

    Snapface。

  • Yeah.

    沒錯。

  • Connie, he's on Snapface.

    Connie,他有玩 Snapface。

  • Oh, I like Snapface.

    噢,我喜歡 Snapface。

  • [laughter]

    [笑]

  • Hey, give the place a little plug maybe?

    嘿,幫這裡打廣告一下?

  • - For sure. - That'd be great.

    - 當然。 - 這樣就太好了。

  • Absolutely.

    一定會的。

  • You truly are the best, and most gullible, dry cleaner in all of New York.

    你是全紐約最好、最容易受騙的乾洗業者。

  • That's what they say.

    他們都這麼說。

  • - That's what they say. - All right.

    - 他們都這麼說。- 好。

  • - I'll see you tomorrow, kid. - I'll see you tomorrow.

    - 孩子明天見啦。- 明天見。

  • Oh, hey, tell your buddy Banner to get some bigger pants.

    噢,叫你朋友 Banner 穿大件一點的褲子 (浩克)。

  • He's busting through them like crazy.

    他瘋狂穿爆這件褲子欸。

  • [laughter]

    [笑]

  • He's pretty angry, but I'll try and tell him.

    他很怒,但我會試著跟他說的。

  • I'm not a miracle worker.

    我不是創造奇蹟的工人。

  • Yes, you are, Joe.

    Joe,你是。

  • See you later.

    待會見。

  • Thanks, kid.

    謝啦孩子。

  • Hey, Connie, let's go in the back and make love.

    嘿 Connie,我們到後面去親熱吧!

  • OK, Joe.

    好的 Joe。

  • [laughter]

    [笑]

  • [music playing]

    [播放配樂]

  • [applause]

    [掌聲]

  • Thanks, everybody.

    謝謝各位。

  • I'm pretty happy with myself too.

    我也很滿意我的演出。

  • Thanks.

    謝啦。

  • If you liked that video, click the subscribe button, but only if you're ready for commitment.

    喜歡這支影片的話,按下訂閱吧!但準備要有所貢獻。

Ever since I was a young boy growing up in Brooklyn, I have loved Spider-Man.

身為一個從小在布魯克林長大的孩子,我一直都很喜歡蜘蛛人。

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