#1) artificial food dyes found in cakes, sport drinks, cheese, candy, and Fruit Loops.

If it's bright to the eye, it's probably dye.

Artificial food dyes are linked to hyperactivity and brain cancer.

But conclusive research is elusive, so Billy's birthday cake is probably safe....for now.

#2) Potassium bromate found in roles, and wraps, and bread crumbs, and what have you.

It causes kidney damage, makes lab rats lumpy, and will do the same to you, my friend.

Assuming you eat thirty three pounds of raw bre ad dough per day.

Making the number one person at risk, Kobayashi.

#3) Azodicarbonamide

Found in frozen dinners, box pasta, and alike. It's known to cause asthma

which makes it hard for Billy to blow out his birthday candles. But...

It mostly causes asthma in its pure chemical form, and since your average T.V. dinner has only 45 parts-per-million of it

you can enjoy your imitation salisbury steak guilt free for the most part...

#4) Arsenic. Bad news friend.

Farm raised chicken contains arsenic and scientists agree that you shouldn't eat arsenic

because arsenic is poison and poison is bad for you.

But farm raised chicken has only 2.3 parts-per-billion, that's right, billion of inorganic arsenic.

In order for that to be toxic you would have to eat ALL of the chickens.

like every single one...

Finally, #5) Olestra, a.k.a Olean. Olestra is an alternative to cooking oil found in fat-free potato chips.

Side effect include stomach cramps and leaky bowels. Most scientists agree you should avoid it

probably because nobody likes leaky bowels. So in conclusion, Happy Birthday Billy,

Chicken is not poison, and only eat fat-free chips if you want a dribbly brown eye.