What is this, what is this?

這是什麼？這是什麼？

How are they?

吃起來怎麼樣？

They're not bad!

還不錯！

Hi, I'm Neil Patrick Harris, and I've been asked to read questions while playing with puppies.

嗨，我是 Neil Partrick Harris，我受邀一邊回答問題一邊和狗狗玩。

And how do you say no to that?

這種邀請怎麼捨得拒絕呢？

Hi! You're that cute! Oh!

嗨！你就是那麼可愛！

Here's a question, what's one of your weirdest or funniest fan encounters?

第一個問題，你遇到粉絲，遇到最怪或最有趣的情況是什麼？

I had an old timey fan once, he was squeaky.

我有一台很老舊的電風扇，非常吵。(英文中，粉絲跟電風扇同義)

So then I got one of the newer Dyson fans, that's better.

所以我後來換成 Dyson 牌的，狀況就好很多。

If you had to give Count Olaf one genuine compliment, what would it be?

如果你必須真誠地讚美 Count Olaf 這個角色，你會說什麼？

He is devilishly handsome.

他真的是非常帥。

He has metal, you know what that means?

他有金屬般的心，你知道這是什麼意思嗎？

Not metal like your collar, but metal, gumption.

不是指你項圈上的金屬，而是指像金屬般堅不可摧的毅力。

What are you plans after the third season?

《波特萊爾的冒險》第三季結束後，有什麼計畫嗎？

I'm assuming last season it will catch up to the last books of A Series of Unfortunate Events,

我猜最後一季的劇情會趕上《波特萊爾的冒險》小說的最後一本，

And when it wraps filming, will you go back to Broadway?

當影集完結後，你會回去出演 Broadway 嗎？

Um, that's my lace, of my shoe, thank you.

呃，你咬的是我的鞋帶，謝謝。

Um, I'd love to go back to Broadway some day.

我是很樂意回去出演 Broadway，如果有那麼一天的話。

I'm looking forward to resting.

我很嚮往能夠休息的日子。

A Series of Unfortunate Events is super fun

拍攝《波特萊爾的冒險》非常有趣，

but all kinds of exhausting,

但真的是各種累人，

much like, you know when you really have to take a dump?

例如：當你發現你非常想要上大號的時候，

But you can't, because you're not outside?

但你不能，因為你還在場內拍攝中，

You know that feeling, and you really gotta go?

但你知道那個感覺，就是你非常需要去廁所，

And then you finally go and you're like, oh I need a rest,

你好不容易解決了，你就會覺得我真的非常需要放鬆一下，

that's kinda my life right now.

這就是我目前的生活情況。

Hey question, what's the craziest rumor you've heard about yourself?

下一題，關於你自己的謠言，你聽到最扯的是什麼？

Um, that i was on Malcolm in the Middle.

被說出演了《左右做人難》。

In a movie about your life,

如果要拍攝你的自傳電影，

who would you want to play you and David？

你會想要誰飾演你和 David 呢？

Oh, that's a good question, who would play me?

這真是個好問題，誰來演我呢？

Josh Dummel.

Josh Dummel。

Who would play David?

那誰來演 David 呢？

Nick Jonas. Next question!

Nick Jonas。 下一題！

C'mon, c'mon.

來嘛，來嘛！

This is my favorite, are we allowed to pick a favorite?

這隻是我最喜歡的，我們可以選一隻最喜歡的嗎？

This one, fine, okay, it's the other one.

這隻，哼，我選別隻。

Fine, it's the other one then.

哼，現在是另一隻了。

What in your opinion, was Count Olaf's best disguise?

你覺得 Count Olaf 最好的偽裝是哪一個？

They were all pretty good.

其實全部都蠻好的。

I think I like the Detective DuPaul the best, right?

我想 Detective DuPaul 應該是最好的，對吧？

He's in the bile village episodes.

他在「邪惡的村子」那集。

And he's a hipster man and he talks like this!

他是個怪咖，他講話這個調調！

Everything he says boop da da boop boop, cool.

他會說 boop da da boop boop, cool。

Is there a celebrity that you've met that left you completely starstruck?

你有遇過哪個藝人，讓你整個被他所迷倒？

David Franco. Easy to look at.

David Franco。很有魅力、很帥。

To put it bluntly, Count Olaf is a garbage human.

講白一點，Count Olaf 就是個大爛人。

How do you get into character to play such a despicable person?

你是怎麼讓你自己入戲以飾演這麼卑鄙的角色？

It's kinda easy because if your ever grumpy, or wishing that you were,

其實蠻容易的，只要你有脾氣暴躁過、或有想變成這樣的人過，

or if you're down and negative,

或傷心過、或消極過，

you can just channel that into the character.

你就能快速切換，入戲這角色。

How often do you get to play someone who is downright awful, answer me!

你多常飾演個性如此糟糕的角色，告訴我！

Do you still talk to the HIMYM cast?

你還有跟《追愛總動員》劇組聯絡嗎？

Would you ever consider collaborating or reuniting with the cast down the line?

有考慮合作或是私底下重聚嗎？

I do still talk to the HIMYM cast, mostly Cobie Smulders,

我還是有跟《追愛總動員》劇組聯絡，主要是跟 Cobie Smulders，

because when you have kids that are similar ages.

因為都有差不多大的孩子。

And she and Taran, her husband, lived in New York for a bit,

而且她和她老公 Taren，有短暫住過紐約，

but yeah we text and shoot the breeze.

我們會互傳簡訊、隨意閒聊。

I don't think we'd ever reunite on the show.

但我不認為我們會在節目上重聚就是了。

Now you are, you are a troublemaker, yes you are.

現在你就是個麻煩製造者，沒錯，你就是。

Yes, thank you.

謝謝。

These are so cute these dogs.

這些狗狗真的好可愛。

You played a lot of really different characters,

你真的飾演過很多不同類型的角色，

do you have a favorite one?

其中有你最喜歡的角色嗎？

My favorite is probably... I don't know. Shirley St. Ives was fun.

我最喜歡的可能是...我不知道耶。但演 Shirley St. Ives 是很有趣。

She was a girl, and I sorta got to play like she was a mad man.

她是個女孩，但我必須把她演得瘋瘋癲癲的。

She talked like this, it was less fun when I had to pee.

她講話是這個樣子，但當我想去小便時就沒那麼有趣了。

Because I was wearing padding and spanx.

因為我穿著襯墊和塑生衣。

And kind of tucking, you know.

全身都被束縛住、很緊，你懂的。

Do you appreciate it when fans come up to you in public, or is it annoying?

公共場合中有粉絲來找你時，你會很感激還是覺得很煩？

No, it's never annoying. I like fans when they come up, I like when people say nice things.

一點都不覺得煩。我很喜歡跟粉絲互動，我喜歡聽別人的讚美。

Less fun is when they just try to take your picture, while you're eating at a restaurant,

當你在餐廳吃飯的時候，他們只是想拍你照片才是不有趣的，

because that's never a good picture.

因為那種照片都不好看。

I'm like talking in the middle of a conversation, scowling or something, I look over, someone like this...

舉例來說，我在講話、談話中皺眉還是什麼的，我發現有人這樣...

But if someone comes up and says something nice, that's always fun to hear, right?

但如果有人上前來說些好話，不管怎麼樣都會很有趣、很開心，不是嗎？

Uh this one, this one, lover boy, girl?

這隻，就這隻，可愛男孩、還是可愛女孩？

Would you ever host the Tony's again?

你會再主持 Tony's 嗎？

Oh I would love to do that again.

我當然很願意這樣做囉。

It's a hard job though, maybe some day,

雖然是個很難的工作。也許有一天吧！

I need to take some time off.

我需要些休假。

The Tony's are great fun, great show for the host.

The Tony's 對主持人來說，是很棒、很有趣的秀。

Because there's all the performances, it is the best show to watch.

因為到處都是表演，所以是最值得觀看的節目。

It's all performances by people who are doing shows live.

所有的演出都是人們現場表演。

So then you get the live show, all around you.

所以，你能親眼看到現場表演，就在你身邊。

What did you learn as a young actor in Doogie Howser, M.D. that helped you later in life as an adult actor?

你早期在 Doogie Howser, M.D 中學到了什麼，並在後來幫助你之後的演藝生涯？

How to suture my own wounds.

如何縫合自己的傷口。

How to neuter dogs, that hasn't helped me that much.

如何幫狗狗結紮，其實沒幫助我那麼多。

What has been the most memorable moment in your life that you would like to cherish forever?

你這輩子最難忘的事是什麼？值得紀念到你想永遠珍惜的程度。

Oh man, the birth of my children.

我孩子的誕生。

Holding newborn babies, that came from you, that's a pretty amazing thing.

抱著新生兒，而且是你的，這就是最棒的事了。

Kids by the way would love you guys.

順便說一句，我的孩子會很喜歡你們的。

Thank God they're not here, because I would be leaving with four more dogs.

還好他們不在這，因為我可能就會多養四隻狗了

How do you go about choosing the themes for your family's Halloween costumes each year?

你是怎麼幫家人選擇每年萬聖節服裝的主題？

And can you hint at some potential options for this year?

可以給些你今年可能選擇的主題的提示嗎？

No hints, we have talked about it. It's much more of a negotiation now.

沒有提示，我和我孩子聊過。現在比較像是溝通。

Because the kids speak the English language and have opinions.

因為孩子們都會說英文了，並表達出自己的想法。

Before was so much easier. Here, put on this Hawaiian costume.

以前比較輕鬆。給你，穿上這套夏威夷服裝。

Here you look like Dorthy. Snap！

你看起來很像《綠野仙蹤》的桃樂絲。喀嚓！

Now it's, c'mon, it'll be fun!

現在是...來嘛，一定會很好玩呀！

You're gonna do this, you're gonna wear this, put this on.

你必須做這個，你一定要穿，給我穿上。

No, we don't do that.

我們是不會這樣的。

What do you think happened with Barney after the show ended,

你覺得《追愛總動員》完結後，Barney 的後續劇情是什麼？

and what would he be up to now?

他現在會在幹嘛呢？

Um, probably same old same old, what would he be up to?

應該還是老樣子，他會幹嘛呢？

Two fingers of scotch, and probably, 15 chips.

喝一小杯威士忌，可能 15 塊錢。

What's your go-to karaoke song?

你唱卡拉 OK 必點的歌是什麼？

That's a good question, Rocket Man is good.

好問題，必點 Rocket Man。

I tend to go with Elton John songs, because they're fun.

我蠻常點 Elton John 的歌，因為很有趣。

I also know all the words to The Devil went down to Georgia.

另外，我記得 The Devil went down to Gerogia 這首全部的歌詞。

That was my New Mexico rap days.

開啟我新墨西哥州饒舌的日子。

He was in a bind, because he was way behind.

他陷入困境，因為他遠遠落後。

He was willing to make a deal.

他願意做一個交易

When he came across the young man,

他遇到一個年輕人，

Sawing on a fiddle and playing it hot.

正鋸著小提琴，鋸得起勁。

What's your idea of a perfect day?

你想像中最完美的一天是怎樣的？

Playing with puppies.

跟狗狗玩。

Or probably a perfect day would be, with my family, in Hawaii, on the beach,

不然就是，和我家人在夏威夷的海灘上，

drinking a Pina Colada, and riding Disney theme park attractions.

喝著 Pina Colada、玩著迪士尼主題樂園的遊樂設施。

I don't think there's a Disney theme park in Hawaii,

但是我不認為夏威夷那有個迪士尼主題樂園，

but that would be a perfect day.

但如果真的那樣會很完美。

Okay, that's my arm, thank you.

你咬的是我的手臂，謝謝。

Out of all the villains in Count Olaf's theater troupe, who is your favorite?

Count Olaf 的壞人集團中，你最喜歡哪一個人？

I got a soft spot for Hook Hand Man,

Hook Hand Man 最得我心。

because he is my right hook man.

因為他是我的最佳好搭檔。(把英文俚語 My man! 跟 hook man 角色融合)

Last question, if you were willingly going to visit a deserted island for a few days

最後一個問題，如果你要去荒島幾天，

and could only have three things with you, what would you bring?

但只能帶三樣東西，你會帶什麼？

Three things on a deserted island.

帶三樣去無人島。

A lighter or a tarp, one of those phones,

帶打火機或帳篷、其中一支手機，

that you can call people that saves you.

才能打電話叫別人去救你。

Luxury items I'd probably bring, I don't know, a ukulele?

我可能會帶的奢侈品，我不知道耶，可能烏克麗麗？

No？ He said no I'm biting his shoe.

不要？他說，我只是在咬他鞋子。

Um, maybe a "FLASHLIGHT".

可能帶個「手電筒」。(其實他是想表達 Fleshlight )

Alright, those are all my questions. Thank you for asking them

好了，這就是我所有回答的問題。謝謝你們問我這些問題。

And thanks for all these puppies, who are all available if you want to own one of these.

也謝謝這些狗狗們，他們都是可以被領養的哦，如果你想養任何一隻的話。

They're all from the North Shore Animal League.

他們都來自 North Shore Animal League。

So, thanks to the amazing people there for doing that,

所以，很謝謝這些很棒的人做這些善事，

and come give yourself an angry, biting dog, ow!

也歡迎來養一隻兇巴巴、會咬人的狗狗給你自己吧！噢！

See ya.

掰掰。