In a few weeks ago it took a turn that no one expected…

幾個禮拜前，這件事變得比想像中還嚴重...

The story is about me and my mom.

這是關於我和媽媽的故事。

Her name is Diane and I am her only child—this is important to the story.

她叫 Diane，而我是家裡的獨生子，這很重要。

She studied to become an architect, but lost interest really fast, so she never actually worked as an architect.

她原本唸的是建築，但她唸一唸很快就沒興趣了，所以從來沒有從事過建築相關的工作。

When she married my dad at 23, she was right at the point where she didn't really know what she wanted to do.

她 23 歲和我爸結婚時，正好是她不知道自己想做什麼的時候。

Then pretty soon after, my mom got pregnant and that eventually helped her to decide.

結婚不久後她懷孕了，這也直接幫她決定她要做的事情了。

She started a blog.

她開始寫部落格。

A mom blog, or a baby blog, whatever you want to call it.

你可以說是媽媽部落格，或寶寶部落格，無所謂。

As parents have told me, blogs were kinda blooming at that time and a lot of people were starting their own.

我爸媽說部落格當時很盛行，很多人都開始在寫自己的部落格。

So this blog started as a kind of online diary for friends and family.

所以這個部落格一開始算是給家人朋友看的網路日誌。

My mom would write posts about her pregnancy and expectations, and share tips and pictures—anything, really.

我媽會寫一些關於懷孕期間的文章、自己的期待，也會分享一些日常實用妙招或照片，其實就是什麼都分享啦！

As the weeks went by, the blog gathered more and more readers, and a lot of them were strangers.

幾個禮拜下來，她的部落格累積了越來越多讀者，很多還是陌生人。

The internet itself was growing quickly at this time.

網際網路在那個時候發展得很快。

After I was born my mom just got more enthusiastic.

而我出生之後，我媽寫部落格寫得更起勁。

Now she had a lot more things to tell her readers about.

因為她有更多事情可以分享給她的讀者了。

Of course this is stuff I can't remember, since the blog is older than me.

當然，這些事情我不記得，畢竟這部落格年紀比我還大。

But as I have grown up, I scrolled all the way down the blog feed to 2005.

但隨著我越來越大，我從現在一路翻回西元 2005 年的貼文。

And there was everything—pictures of me as a newborn baby, then as a toddler and on and on… we'll get to that a little later.

上面什麼都有！從我剛出生，一路到我慢慢長大...我等下再回頭講這段。

And it was not just about the pictures, of course.

當然，不光是照片的問題。

Almost every day she would write about what happened during that day, with the most intimate details.

她幾乎每天都會鉅細靡遺地寫下今天發生的所有事情。

And I guess I learned a lot of stuff most kids are not supposed know: like the fact that I was not planned.

我也因此看到其他小孩不該知道的內容，像是我的出生其實是個意外。

I mean… I'm totally fine with that, and all of these early posts are no problem in general.

其實我是完全無所謂啦，這些早期的貼文對我來說無傷大雅。

Things just got awkward as I was growing up.

只是我慢慢長大之後，整件事變得越來越尷尬。

You don't have many secrets when you are a toddler, but as you get closer to your teenage years, you start to experience stuff you'd rather keep private.

我們小的時候還沒有什麼秘密，但雖著年齡越大、離青少年時期越來越近，我們心裡開始會有秘密。

The problem was: my Mom didn't seem to understand that.

問題來了：我媽似乎無法理解這件事。

I think I was around twelve when I started to have problems with what she was posting.

我記得我開始對她的貼文有意見是在 12 歲的時候。

Because, you know, I grew up with the blog, and for a really long time I didn't think it could be any other way.

你們知道的嘛，我從小到大都被寫在她的部落格裡，我也一直覺得她大概會這樣持續寫下去。

And the thing that still amazes me is that my mom did not lose interest over all these years.

不可思議的是，我媽經過這麼多年都還寫不膩。

Of course, she doesn't post every day anymore, but she still does it at least two or three times a week.

當然，她現在不會每天都發文了，但她一週還是會寫個兩到三次。

And the content changed—it was now about being a mom of a teenager.

但她的貼文內容變了，現在的主題是「家有青少年」。

And that was the problem.

這就是問題所在。

Let me give you an example.

我舉個例子好了。

When I was thirteen I told my mom I liked a girl from my school.

我 13 歲的時候我跟我媽說，我喜歡學校裡的一個女生。

You see, I'm not that close with any of my friends and I feel awkward sharing stuff like that with my dad.

因為我跟朋友們都不太親近，這種事跟我爸講又很尷尬。

So I told my mom about my feelings and we had a nice talk, or so I thought at the time.

所以我跟我媽講了這件事，而且聊得蠻愉快的，至少我當時這麼認為。

And I felt terrible when I found out that the whole story got posted online.

我發現這件事被她貼在網路上的時候，心情糟透了。

What made things even worse is the fact that the girl's mom was one of the blog's active readers.

更糟的是，那女孩的媽媽是我媽的忠實讀者。

And even though my mom didn't mention the girl's name, it wasn't that hard to guess.

所以就算我媽沒有說出那女孩的名字，答案也蠻明顯的。

That girl and I never brought this up, but I'm pretty sure she found out.

我和那女孩都沒有提起這件事，但我蠻確定她應該是知道的。

That was the first time that my mom and I had a serious fight about the blog.

這是我和我媽第一次因為這部落格大吵一架。

I was trying to tell her that this stuff was private and the last thing I wanted was for everybody to know.

我一直跟她說這是我的私事，我根本不想讓任何人知道。

But she just didn't seem to understand.

但她就是聽不進去。

She said that these are things every child is going through and there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

她說這是每個小孩都會經歷的過程，沒什麼好丟臉的。

I wasn't embarrassed, I just didn't want to be exposed like that!

但我並不覺得丟臉啊，我只是不想讓全世界都知道！

Several months after this, things got even worse.

幾個月後，事情越來越嚴重。

One of my classmates came across my mom's blog online somehow.

班上其中一個同學不知道是怎麼發現這個部落格的。

Of course he was fast to tell the rest of the guys, and all of them found the time to scroll down her feed.

想當然，他立刻跟我這群朋友們分享，他們也一路翻回我媽以前的貼文。

Long story short, the next few weeks weren't easy for me.

簡單來說，就是我接下來的幾個禮拜過得很慘。

There were so many things my classmates were not supposed to know, including things I had said about them.

部落格裡有太多我同學們不該知道的事情了，包含我說過關於他們的事。

And, of course, every post had something that they could make fun of.

而且當然，他們在每則貼文裡都能找到可以取笑我的點。

I was deeply hurt.

我心裡很受傷。

And I tried talking to my mom again, but she still refused to see the problem, so I just made the only decision possible.

我試著再跟我媽溝通，但她還是不願意了解問題出在哪... 所以我別無選擇。

I stopped telling her anything about my life.

我不再跟她分享我的生活。

And as the months passed, our relationship just got worse.

幾個月下來，我們的關係越來越糟。

Once she tried to talk to me about the problem and I even thought we understood each other.

有一次她試著跟我聊這件事，當時我還以為我們能理解對方了。

But the next day she wrote a post about me being offended about the blog.

但隔天她發了一篇關於我因為部落格被惹怒的貼文。

I saw this post when we were having breakfast, I stood up, and I left in tears.

我是在吃早餐的時候發現這則貼文的。我站了起來，哭著離開。

I was desperate.

我感到非常絕望。

I guess that was the point when my mom realized what she had done.

我想大概就是那一刻，我媽才驚覺事情的嚴重性。

That same night she came to my room and said she was sorry.

當天晚上她到我房間跟我道歉。

She finally realized that there was a problem.

她終於看到問題出在哪了。

And imagine my surprise when she told me that she DELETED the blog.

她還說她把部落格刪掉了，你們可以想像我聽到的時候有多驚訝吧！

I remember saying, totally shocked: “ You… didn't have to do this.”

我記得我當時說：「妳可以不用這麼做... 」

But deep inside I also knew that was the only way.

但內心深處我知道這麼做才是唯一的解決方法。

And I know it wasn't easy for her to do, at all.

我也知道這對她來說有多麽不容易。

After all the blog was a part of her life for fifteen years.

畢竟這個部落格佔了她 15 年的人生。

I guess there are hundreds and hundreds of moms worldwide that she helped over all this time.

我想，她寫部落格的這段時間，應該幫助了全球各地好幾百位媽媽了吧。

Now we are building our trust up all over again.

現在我們重新建立彼此的信任。

Do your parents post stuff about you online?

你的父母也會在網路上分享你的事嗎？

Share your thoughts and stories in the comments!

歡迎在底下留言聊聊你的想法和故事！

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並訂閱我們的頻道，才能收看更多影片。