I don't remember what you look like?

我其實不太記得你的外表？

I am pretending to be busy, but I am literally Instagram stalking you.

我在裝忙，但事實上在滑你的 IG。

You don't edit your photos.

你跟照片長得一樣，都沒有修圖耶！

You do.

我看得出來你有修圖，有點照騙。

Doing my job.

只是在做好我份內的事。

Oh, um, ordering something that makes me sound feminine, yet, strong.

恩...我來點個會讓我散發女人味但又不失主見的東西吃。

Um, ordering something I memorized years ago to make a good first impression.

嗯...我來點個會給人留下好印象的東西吃，這個我有特別記下來。

Call back to a conversation we had online.

重提當初在網路上聊過的話題。

Oh, quick comment, to let you know I'm on board.

好，我來很快地給點回應，讓你知道我有在狀況內。

Standard question about your life.

來問一個很普通、關於人生的問題。

Ah... generic answer, trying to hide my crazy.

喔...以很籠統的答覆隱藏我內心的瘋狂。

A thing that worked with other guys.

我來試試看這招對你來說管不管用，其他男生都有中招。

Things that worked with other girls.

我來試試看這招對你來說管不管用，其他女生都有中招。

Oh, thing that worked with other guys.

那這招呢？

Thing that some girls actually like.

這招對你們女生鐵定有用的。

Controversial joke to test the waters.

開個有點爭議性的玩笑來試水溫。

Negative reaction; shutting this down.

給你負面的反應；試圖結束這個話題。

Being nice to the wait staff.

對服務生表示善意。

Not noted.

沒有注意到這個舉動。

Awkward silence.

尷尬的沈默。

Talking about the menu...

聊聊菜單上的東西...

To avoid silence...

來避免沈默。

Or ongoing conversations...

或許我們該繼續聊天...

- about our actual lives. - about our actual lives.

- 互相分享自己的真實生活。 - 互相分享自己的真實生活。

That's what I was going to say!

我正要這樣說呢！

(laughter)

(笑)

Hey, I'm going to take the biggest poop I possibly can and tell you it was a pee.

好，我現在要去好好上個大號，然後騙你說只是去小號而已。

I'm going to text all my friends and let them know this could be going better.

我要趕快跟我所有朋友說這次的約會真的糟透了。

Lie about how long that line was.

騙你說排隊的人有夠多。

Actually checking myself in the reverse camera.

其實我在用手機內鏡照鏡子。

Hey, a joke at my own expense.

然後現在來自嘲一下。

Teasing with humor.

幽默的戲弄一下。

Self parodying with humor.

幽默的自我解嘲一下。

I am touching you right now to let you know that this is back on track.

現在摸你是想讓你知道氣氛一切都回歸正軌了。

Oh, geez...

喔天啊...

Trying to be valiant.

試圖表現的很英勇。

I am mortified, but I'm playing it off as adorkable!

我其實覺得很丟臉，但假裝沒事，表現出傻白甜的樣子！

Realizing I am touching your leg and...

發現自己觸碰到你的腿部...

- sexual joke. - sexual joke.

- 開黃色笑話。 -開黃色笑話。

Different sexual joke.

不一樣的黃色笑話。

Trying to keep this energy going.

試圖讓彼此之間的火花持續。

Letting my guard down.

我慢慢卸下防備心了。

Comfortable silence.

舒服的沈默。

Sexual silence.

很曖昧的沈默。

Okay.

好喔。

A reference to how much food is still on my plate.

你看，我盤裡還有多少食物沒吃完。

A reference to how much food is still on my plate.

也提起自己盤裡還剩很多食物還沒吃。

Because we are not comfortable eating in front of each other yet.

因為我們還沒熟到能在彼此面前放鬆吃飯。

Showing my protector quality, and financial stability.

展現一下自己的紳士風度和財力。

Accepting this general because it benefits me.

因為這樣對我來說是好事，所以我就大方接受你請客了。

Texting my friends to let them know that I like you.

來密一下朋友跟他們說我對你的好感。

Thinking about our future?

我們要更深入交往嗎？

Yeah.

好啊！

(farts)

(放屁)

(farts)

(放屁)