Name: 比爾-伯爾你們都是一樣的人 2012年｜比爾-伯爾脫口秀演員史上最強喜劇演員 (Bill Burr You People Are All The Same 2012 | Bill Burr Stand Up Comedian Ever)
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T08:06:28.000Z
Duration: 1 h 12 min 47 s
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Told him. I really do I never had that feeling before so I moved out to Los angeles

The city just messes with your mind. You know so but populated, technically doesn't have a water supply

Right the dollars crashing shit keeps you up at night. You [just] [thickened] what am I doing the SAmba scum. I?

Start reading up on shit get some powdered [food] plant some zucchini

But if you don't know how to fight all you're doing is gathering supplies for the toughest guy in the block

Right [think] about that what am I gonna? Do some dude turns me upside down starts shaking the gold coins out of my pockets I?

Coming out in a little gun store, right come walk into some redneck down like a man

I don't want to get a gun like I hear you what you looking [for] what you want mossberg over on merit

357 Magnum right such rattling off all this gibberish

[all] right, [I] don't know shit. [I'm] trying to play it off. I feel like a bitch cuz I don't know anything about guns

Hello, I'm in both honesty. I don't look dude. I know anything about guns they terrify me, but I'm worried about the zombies

[Cz] the Low doesn't have a lot of working parts got a good spread. He kept saying that it's got a good spread

Like what does that mean you could love me you ain't gotta be too accurate

Get it good spread farther way you are and the more shit you it?

Got a good spread. Thank you got a problem over here. You now look at this room wow it

Anything no, it's even remotely a problem. Ain't there anymore trust me, and then these people here

They saw what you just did here. You ain't got a problem harry

Graves taking care of right there one shot these people get smart flipping over [wow], it's it's friends

Don't like laughs am I yourself I'm like dude look I just want to shoot the guy

I don't think do a bunch of drywall work. Yeah

Reframe my diploma get my parakeet another friend. Yeah, I

Just want to shoot the guy. I'm like [another] one. He's pistol. So he does like that classic like that redneck trailing off thing like

Feels like the what's wrong with getting a pistol you guys. I'll tell you what buddy cuz life life ain't a movie

Like now can you please stop speaking and these backwards riddles?

Can you just say what you're saying I told you? I don't know shit about guns come on. Do me solid here with

Those look if you're watching movie kaka blah blah blau he keep kill sweet people real laughs man. You miss you, miss all fuckin time

You miss enough [fans], man you miles you're acting miles would you stand there with big Stapler here?

Man what you gonna? Do I was like well fuck it. Let's get the shotgun

He's [already] to box the thing up, and then I'm like wait [a] minute. I live with my girl

I can't [you] show up [with] [a] shotgun, [right]?

[that's] not some shit. You can just come home with I

Found this stool on the side of the road I can come on with this look at it. We we can refinish it

We can carve our initials today. We did a good time, right?

You show up with a shotgun. I got it for us I

So the other night somebody broke into our car sitting in the driveway

Starts fucking with her head right so she starts reading up on guns

You know she's reading too much cuz now she wants to get one but she's just like well

I heard you got to keep the bullets in this day keep the stock in the garage

And then what then when I run around the house and assemble it if some dudes chasing me with an axe

They don't even thinking this thing through sweetheart running around with where's the stuff. It's in the living room in the living room

Forgetting this thing. I want that fucking thing loaded right on the bedroom wall right there. I'll put that into my gym gym sleep

That's funny though when you talk about getting a gun. You know people like they eat. It totally forward or completely against it

You [know] [either]. Go nuts and start screaming, right?

They start sawing off those stats actually you increase your chances of getting shot by 80% your second you get a gun in the house

Really what cuz I'm going to load it and shower with it like

You're gonna pull in your backyard [you'll] immediately increase your odds of drowning in your backyard

You couldn't do that before now. You step on a rake and you go

No telling you. I don't buy any of that shit

Now that this stupid. It's the way people apply them you're any of your mind made up

And then you go - I'm right calm you start memorizing a bunch of shit, and [you] [try] just throw it up at people

Guy trying to get me to go Scuba diving [like] I'm not going. I don't want to get Eaten by a shark

[he's] like well actually 90% of shark attacks actually happened in Shallow water. It's like no shit. It's where the people are

90% of people are frolicking along the coastline

These people swim [into] Europe [Gonna] [Iceland] your pussies

But actually I actually like Los angeles one of the few east coast people that likes it all my [moron]

New York friends and Boston friends that come out there try to get a good slice of pizza at 4:00 in the morning

It's not it's like exactly where I left. What's the point of traveling if it's Gonna be different?

So fucking stupid get a burrito and go on a hike [what's] wrong with you

You're gonna go to Hawaii. There's no pause hockey. Just place socks [I]

Got to admit the only thing that freaks me out

About Los Angeles is all a plastic surgery. I don't get it

Why do people [get] plastic surgery you know why can't you just admit? It's over

You know you had your time stop trying to look fuckable in your 50s

Weird their faces yank back look at all shiny, right?

Not to mention they haven't even figured enough

You know why would you get a facelift? Can't you look at other facelifts and realize they haven't worked all the bumps out yet?

Like that's what you want to look like like you just lost the fight three days ago

Don't be a hero [let] somebody else go in there take the fucking beat you you lay back

[they're] [just] lying to people. I know let's go. Let's go put a little ice on [it]

[we'll] [see] [in] a couple weeks. I take it easy

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比爾-伯爾你們都是一樣的人 2012年｜比爾-伯爾脫口秀演員史上最強喜劇演員 (Bill Burr You People Are All The Same 2012 | Bill Burr Stand Up Comedian Ever)

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