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字幕列表 影片播放

  • Now I thought I'd share some of my favorite

    現在要來分享幾個我的最愛

  • #ThatWasTMI stories from you guys.

    來自各位的 #太多了。

  • This first one´s from @jeremyart. She says,''One tim eI called my mom and she asked, 'Are you drunk dialing me?'' I told her no, ans she said,'Well, I'm drunk answering.''

    第一則來自 @jeremyart。他說:「有一次我打給我媽,她問我:『你吃錯藥打我幹嘛 ?』我回她沒有啊 ! 她回我:『我也只是隨便說說的。』」

  • Last call.

    不會再打了。

  • This one´s from @emilyscoby.She says, ''A cashier once carded me and said, ''Oh, your birthday is October 2nd, That means your parents did it on New Year's Eve!''

    這則來自 @emilyscoby。她說:「收銀員過我會員卡說:『你生日是 10 月 2 號,代表你爸媽在跨年夜慶祝得很『嗨』!」

  • This one´s from @MexicanSamoan. He says--

    這則來自 @MexicanSamoan。他說 ...

  • Right there is TMI almost.

    這就太多了。

  • That's TMI, yeah. Tell me everything about him. He says, ''One time a random guy using the urinal next to me told me he knew how to plan the ''perfect murder.''

    是吧 ! 再告訴我更多呀 ! 他說:「一次一個男的在我旁邊小便,跟我說他知道怎樣計畫謀殺。」

  • Don't want to piss that guy off.

    不想讓他 377。

  • This one's from @camdfish. She says,'' A client on the phone once asked me to ''make the birthday cake as ugly as possible because I hate this woman's guts.''

    這則來自 @camdfish。她說:「一個客戶來電要我做一個醜吱吱的蛋糕,因為她恨死了這個女人。」

  • Why even get her a cake?

    那幹嘛要蛋糕 ?

  • I don´t know, man.

    無解。

  • Give her a sock on the nose.

    給她聞一隻臭襪子。

  • This is from -- Kuh--jade? Kuh--ji--

    這則來自 Kuh ... jade ? Kuh ... ji ...

  • Kay-ya-day? Key-hade?

    Kay-ya-day ? Key-hade ?

  • K-E-J-A-D-E.

    K-E-J-A-D-E。

  • Could be Key-yah-day? Kuh-jade?

    還是 Key-yah-day ? Kuh-jade?

  • Kej-dee?

    Kej-dee ?

  • Shazh.

    Shazh。

  • It's pronounced "Shazh." She says,''My grandma told me she bought a dress for her funeral and she was gonna give it a test run at my wedding.''

    是「 Shazh」。她說:「我奶奶告訴我她買了件壽衣,要在我的婚禮當天穿穿看。」

  • Thanks a lot.

    感謝。

  • You never know.

    誰知道誰先 ?

  • This one´s from @CXO-Insights. She says,''A woman sitting next to me at ''Hamilton'' told me that the key to avoiding long restroom lines at the theatre was to wear an adult disper.''

    這則來自 @CXO-Insights。她說:「在 Hamilton 劇院裡坐在我旁邊的女士告訴我,上廁所不想排人龍,那就穿幫寶適成人紙尿褲。」

  • Can I change seats, please?

    可以換個位置嗎 ? 謝謝 !

  • This last one here is from @-jeffreyhudson. He says,''My family was having a party, and I offered my grandma more cake. She said, 'No, thanks, honey,' then winked at my grandpa and said, 'I'm gonna have more cake later.'''

    最後一則來自 @-jeffreyhudson。他說:「家裡辦派對,我遞給奶奶多一點蛋糕。她說:『不了,謝謝乖孫 !』,然後對爺爺拋媚眼說:『我等等要吃更大攤的。』」

  • There you have it.

    感謝收看。

  • Those are our "Tonight Show" hashtags.

    以上是「今夜秀」。

  • To check out more of our favorites,

    更多我們的精選,

  • go to TonightShow.com/hashtags.

    都在 TonightShow.com/hashtags。

Now I thought I'd share some of my favorite

現在要來分享幾個我的最愛

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