Name: 為什麼分手後會心如刀割？看看如何忘掉你的前任，成為更好的人 (How To Get Over Your Ex)
Uploaded: 2019-03-26T21:01:10.000Z
Duration: 3 min 47 s

程度副詞

Almost everyone experiences romantic love in their lifetime.

幾乎每個人一生之中都有經歷過浪漫的愛情。

轉承詞

And although it comes with happiness, euphoria, and increased life satisfaction, break-ups are associated with depression, mood swings, and anxiety.

愛情雖然會帶來幸福、愉悅及滿足感，但當分手時，抑鬱、情緒起伏和焦慮不安也會油然而生。

So, are there any scientific strategies for moving past a break-up?

那麼有什麼科學方法可以忘掉這段破碎的關係嗎？

你第一件該做的事情是什麼呢？

別再從社群軟體偷窺他們的生活了。

Although we might think it's harmless Facebook monitoring a former partner, (it) has been shown to lead to greater feelings of sexual desire and longing for an ex, as well as a decreased level of personal growth.

或許你會認為用 Facebook 看看自己的前任無傷大雅，但研究證實這麼做的確會讓你更渴望對方，因而阻礙了自己成長的機會。

This is similar to research of real life contact with an ex.

這跟「在分手後還與前任保持連絡」的研究結果相仿。

That is, people who continue to see their ex after a break-up report greater sadness and love, ultimately decreasing their ability to move on.

那些在分手後還跟前任繼續見面的人表示，自己會感到更難過、更難放下對前任的愛，而這也減低了讓人向前邁進的動力。

Similarly, for the 30-50% young adults in on-again, off-again relationships, habitually breaking-up and getting back together is associated with increased anxiety and depressive symptoms as well as poorer communication and commitment.

同樣地，在那些感情狀況不穩定的青少年中，有 30-50% 的人因為不斷跟前任分分合合，而越發焦慮、抑鬱，隨之下降的則是互動性與忠誠度。

Other studies have shown that people who Facebook stalk or subtweet at their former partners' are six times more likely to participate in a relational intrusion in real life.

其他研究也顯示，那些偷偷在 Facebook 上關注前任或在 Twitter 上批評前任的人跟一般人比起來，闖入對方現實生活圈的機率高達六倍。

Behaviors like showing up at the ex-partner's classroom or workplace.

像是出現在前任的教室或工作地點。

All this may be related to the fact that sensory areas of the brain associated with physical pain become activated when shown a picture of an ex.

上述的這些情況可能是因為當受試者看到前任的照片時，大腦感知生理痛覺的區域會被激活。

In short, break-ups and social rejection can physically hurt.

簡單來說，分手或拒絕社交的確會造成生理上的疼痛。

So overall, it's probably best to cut the digital, and real life cord with your old flame.

所以總體而言，最好的方法就是徹徹底底地切斷你跟舊情人的所有聯繫。

If that fails, perhaps a dose of tylenol.

如果無法成功做到這點，試著吃顆泰諾吧！

taking acetaminophen, the common pain killer, during a period of social rejection decreased self-reported levels of social pain

受試者自我檢測後回報，在人際互動上受到排斥的期間服用像是乙醯氨酚這類常見的止痛藥，能夠降低因心理因素而導致的疼痛。

and also decreased brain activity in regions associated with social rejection and physical pain.

也能降低大腦在面對社會排斥及生理痛覺區塊的活躍程度。

Tylenol also seems to decrease areas of the brain responsible for aggression, which may help mitigate, say, any desire to carve your name into a leather seat.

泰諾也能夠抑制大腦掌管攻擊性的區域，也就是說它可以紓緩你對前任報復的欲望。

列出前任的缺點呢？(burn book 出自美國電影《辣妹過招》，裡面寫的盡是老師與同學的壞話。)

You might actually benefit from focusing on the bad parts of your ex to get over them.

把注意力放在你前任的缺點上，的確有可能讓你好受一些。

One study had people look at photos of their ex and immediately used a strategy called Negative Reappraisal, which involves thinking about the negative qualities of a former partner, or imagining negative future scenarios with them.

一項研究要受試者看著自己前任的照片，並用「負面重新評估」的策略，要他們回想前任的缺陷，或想像繼續跟他在一起後可能會發生的爭執等等。

This is actually similar to a strategy used for people who are alcohol dependent.

這個做法其實跟對付酒精依賴者的方法很相似。

Thinking about the negative consequences of repeated alcohol consumption can decrease craving significantly.

想想因酗酒而導致的負面結果便能夠讓依賴者大大降低對酒精的欲望。

Some participants used a distraction strategy.

部分受試者則使用轉移注意力的策略。

When given a photo of their ex they were asked unrelated question to distract them.

當受試者看到前任的照片時，研究人員會詢問他們毫不相關的問題，讓他們分心。

Negative Reappraisal, decreased love feelings for the ex but caused a short term unpleasant feeling whereas distraction increased pleasantness but did not decrease love feelings.

負面重新評估可以讓你對前任的愛漸漸減少，但當下會讓你不太好受，而分心策略造成的結果則完全相反。

In other words thinking poorly about an ex may put you in a bad mood for a short period of time, but will be beneficial in the long run by decreasing your feelings for them.

換句話說，想想你前任的缺點在短時間內可能會讓你心情很糟，但就長遠來說，藉此減少對他的感情還是對你有益的。

While distraction may boost your mood for a bit but not help you get over an ex in the long run.

而使用分心策略可能會讓你當下的心情好轉，但對於「忘掉前任」這件事可說是毫無幫助。

Based on this research, one researcher suggests writing a list of as many negative qualities about your ex that you can think of at least once a day, until you feel better.

根據這項研究，一名研究員就建議每天盡可能寫下前任的缺點，寫到你漸漸放下他為止。

總而言之，分手是很痛苦的事。

Psychologists described one of the most important challenges is to regain a sense of self separate from a former partner.

心理學家說明，分手後其中一個最重要的挑戰就是擺脫前任、找回完整的自我。

So it may be best to unplug and reconnect with old friends and old hobbies, in order to heal and move on to the next one.

而最有效的方法就是跟老朋友們見見面、重拾自己的興趣，以好好療傷、繼續前進。

So we made this video because we broke up...

我們會做這支影片是因為我們分手了...

Joking! But we probably should've called it something like "we broke up" because that would've gone more viral.

開玩笑的啦！但我們真該幫這部影片取叫「我們分手了」，這樣才更有可能爆紅。

你可以在  YouTube 上收聽我們最新一集的播客。

It's about vlogging where we debate it. I love it.

在這個網誌中我們會進行辯論，我超愛這集。

- 我恨死了。 - 讓我們知道你們覺得誰才是贏家。

We take controversial subjects, then we tell stories about and then we debate them, all while splicing in the science throughout.

我們會用科學的角度討論一些具爭議性的主題、談談一些案例，接著再進行辯論。

You can subscribe to SideNote on YouTube, but we'll also see you back here next Thursday for another science video.

你可以在 YouTube 訂閱 SideNote ，我們下週四也會在這個頻道發布科學影片。