[ APPLAUSE ]

TODAY IS DAY 26 OF THE

GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN, THE LONGEST

SHUTDOWN EVER.

IT GETS LONGER EVERY DAY.

SINCE NOBODY SEEMS TO BE ABLE TO

GET ANY MOVEMENT ON THIS,

REPUBLICANS, DEMOCRATS, NOBODY'S

EVEN TALKING, I WANT TO MAKE MY

CASE DIRECTLY TO THE PRESIDENT.

MR. PRESIDENT, YOUR ROYAL

BIGLINESS, SIR, ON THE OFFCHANCE

YOU AREN'T WATCHING JUDGE JANINE

PE

PIRRO WITH YOUR PANTS OFF RIGHT

NOW, WE KNOW YOU'RE NOT GOING TO

END THE SHUTDOWN UNTIL YOU GET

THE MAGICAL MEXICAN WALL, YOU

AND I KNOW THIS IS JUST NOT

GOING TO HAPPEN.

I WANT TO APPEAL TO SOMETHING

THAT'S EVEN MORE IMPORTANT TO

YOU, AND I KNOW IT DOESN'T MEAN

MUCH TO DONALD TRUMP THAT A

BUNCH OF AMERICANS ARE BEING

FORCED TO WORK WITHOUT PAYCHECKS

OR THAT VITAL SERVICES LIKE FOOD

INSPECTION AND THE TSA,

ANTI-TERRORISM EFFORTS ARE BEING

COMPROMISED, BUT I KNOW WHAT

DOES MATTER TO YOU, DOWN DO THE

BOTTOM OF YOUR KENTUCKY FRIED

LITTLE HEART.

AND THAT IS GOLF.

DONALD TRUMP HAS NOT BEEN ABLE

TO PLAY A ROUND OF GOLF IN 52

DAYS.

THE ONLY TIME HE GETS TO YELL

FORE NOW IS ONLY WHEN HE TELLS

HIS STAFF HOW MANY BURGERS YOU

WANT.

WITH ONE CRAZY ZIGZAG OF YOUR

SHAR

SHARPIE, YOU COULD BE BACK ON

THE GREENS OF MAR-A-LAGO FASTER

THAN YOU CAN SAY POCAHONTAS.

IF'S A WIN/WIN.

THE FEDERAL EMPLOYEES CAN GO

BACK TO WORK AND YOU CAN GET

BACK TO WHAT YOU DO BEST,

CHEATING AT GOLF.

IT'S GOOD FOR YOU, GOOD FOR

AMERICA.

WE NEED YOU OUT ON THE GOLF

COURSE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE TO

KEEP FROM YOU DOING THINGS.

SO THINK ABOUT IT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YOU WANT A SHUTDOWN?

OR PLAY GOLF? 62 00:02:03,190 --> 00:00:00,000 LET'S PLAY OUR WAY OUT OF THE