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  • Sneaky Advertisements.

    心懷不軌的廣告。

  • You all know what I'm talking about,

    你們都知道我指的是什麼,

  • it's when those companies try to get away with some crappy products

    就是當一間公司想要擺脫一些爛商品,

  • by sneaking around details and drawing you in with good deals.

    他們會避談細節,用好價格來吸引你。

  • There's countless products out there that companies make seem SUPER AMAZING in the commercials, and then you buy it and it's complete crap!

    市面上有無數個公司刻意讓他們的產品廣告看起來很生火,接著你就會入手,然後發現那完全是垃圾!

  • So, here's some tips companies on whether you should sell your products or not.

    各位賣家,這裡有一些提示,可以告訴你到底該不該賣你的產品。

  • Because we, the consumers are very sick and tired of your sneaky little plans and stuff.

    因為我們買家對於你們這些偷偷摸摸的伎倆既感冒又厭倦。

  • If you have to hide something about your product, don't sell it.

    如果你對於你的商品有所隱藏,不要賣。

  • "Okay, how do we say this product will completely blind you if you get it in your eyes?"

    「好,我們要怎麼說明如果這個產品碰到你的眼睛,你會完全失明?」

  • "How about we say that, blindness is pretty serious and we don't want anyone getting hurt."

    「如果我們這樣說,失明是相當嚴重的,而且我們不希望任何人受傷。」

  • "But we can't have people looking at the bottle and seeing that they could get blinded and get scared and not buy it.

    「但我們不能讓大家看到瓶身上寫說他們有可能會瞎掉,他們會害怕,然後不買它。」

  • Jeremy, how about we write 'do not let come in contact with face'?

    傑若米,如果我們寫說「勿使用於臉上」?

  • But that makes it seem not as serious.

    但這看起來並不會很嚴重。

  • Exactly.

    沒錯。

  • Jeremy, make the print really small and put it at the back of the bottom of the product!

    傑若米,把那行字放在背面瓶底,印超小!

  • If you have to hire actors or write a script for people on what to say about your product, don't sell it.

    如果你需要雇用演員或作家寫劇本,來杜撰產品的好處,不要賣。

  • Okay, so what you're gonna say is; I love this product. It saves me countless hours of work!

    好,所以你要這樣講,我好愛這個產品,它幫我省下好幾個小時!

  • But I haven't even used the product before, how do I know if it does?

    但我之前根本沒用過這個產品,我怎麼知道他有沒有用?

  • Just say it and we'll pay you lots of money, okay?

    不要為了要讓產品看起來更好而把所有警語說得好像很正當。

  • Don't try to make things seem better by making all the warnings all proper.

    所以你是說,如果有人喝了這個產品,它會慢慢地破壞他們的胃壁,

  • So you're saying that if someone were to drink this, the product will slowly break down their stomach wall,

    造成胃酸分泌,再去消化胃本身,導致嚴重傷害,甚至幾天之內就會死亡。

  • causing the stomach acid to digest itself, resulting in serious injuries and maybe even death in a matter of days.

    對,沒錯。

  • Yes, that's correct.

    這、絕、對、不、能、賣!

  • Not. For. Consumption.

    如果你需要用贈品來吸引人們買的你產品,不要賣。

  • If you have to 'woo" people into buying your product with gifts, don't sell it.

    特別優惠!

  • Special offer!

    如果你買這個自動加熱咖啡馬克杯,你會再得到一個

  • If you buy the self-heating coffee mug, you also get a second one,

    免費!

  • Free!

    另外,如果你付運費跟裝卸費

  • Also, if you pay shipping and handling,

    你會免費得到五包咖啡豆,口味自選!

  • you get 5 free packs of coffee beans of your choice!

    跟你又新又酷的馬克杯配成一組!

  • To go with your amazing new mug!

    而且,限時贈送一支作工非常精細的湯匙來讓你攪咖啡!

  • And, there's also a limited time offer for a really neat spoon for your coffee mixing!

    不過等等!

  • But wait!

    今日就快下訂這個加熱咖啡馬克杯!

  • If you act now, you get a very exclusive mystery prize!

    如果你賣的是藥品,但它的副作用比其針對的症狀還要糟糕,不要賣。

  • Order your self - heating coffee mug today!

    副作用可能包含:打噴嚏、眼睛癢或感染、流鼻水、暈眩、喉嚨痛、沮喪、萌生輕生的念頭或行動、嘔吐

  • If you're selling a medicine and the side effects are worse than the actual problem, don't sell your product.

    某些形式的癌症以及失憶,

  • Side effects may include: sneezing, itchy or irritated eyes, runny nose, dizziness, sore throat, depression, suicidal thoughts or actions, vomiting,

    亦有一些死亡案例。

  • some forms of cancer and memory loss,

    呃,這樣聽起來單單治療過敏就有很多副作用。

  • some deaths have also been reported.

    是啊,但很值得!

  • Errr, that sound like a lot of side effects for just curing allergies.

    但大部分的副作用是過敏本身就有的症狀,

  • Yes, but it's worth it!

    像是打噴嚏、眼睛癢或感染、流鼻水以及喉嚨痛。

  • But most of the side effects include what allergies actually are;

    這就有點像你付錢買過敏。

  • like sneezing, itchy or irritated eyes, runny nose and sore throat.

    是啊,但很值得!

  • It's basically like you're paying money for allergies.

  • Yes, but it's worth it!

Sneaky Advertisements.

心懷不軌的廣告。

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    Aniceeee 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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