B1 中級 美國腔 238 分類 收藏
Sneaky Advertisements.
You all know what I'm talking about,
it's when those companies try to get away with some crappy products
by sneaking around details and drawing you in with good deals.
There's countless products out there that companies make seem SUPER AMAZING in the commercials, and then you buy it and it's complete crap!
So, here's some tips companies on whether you should sell your products or not.
Because we, the consumers are very sick and tired of your sneaky little plans and stuff.
If you have to hide something about your product, don't sell it.
"Okay, how do we say this product will completely blind you if you get it in your eyes?"
"How about we say that, blindness is pretty serious and we don't want anyone getting hurt."
"But we can't have people looking at the bottle and seeing that they could get blinded and get scared and not buy it.
Jeremy, how about we write 'do not let come in contact with face'?
But that makes it seem not as serious.
Jeremy, make the print really small and put it at the back of the bottom of the product!
If you have to hire actors or write a script for people on what to say about your product, don't sell it.
Okay, so what you're gonna say is; I love this product. It saves me countless hours of work!
But I haven't even used the product before, how do I know if it does?
Just say it and we'll pay you lots of money, okay?
Don't try to make things seem better by making all the warnings all proper.
So you're saying that if someone were to drink this, the product will slowly break down their stomach wall,
causing the stomach acid to digest itself, resulting in serious injuries and maybe even death in a matter of days.
Yes, that's correct.
Not. For. Consumption.
If you have to 'woo" people into buying your product with gifts, don't sell it.
Special offer!
If you buy the self-heating coffee mug, you also get a second one,
Also, if you pay shipping and handling,
you get 5 free packs of coffee beans of your choice!
To go with your amazing new mug!
And, there's also a limited time offer for a really neat spoon for your coffee mixing!
But wait!
If you act now, you get a very exclusive mystery prize!
Order your self - heating coffee mug today!
If you're selling a medicine and the side effects are worse than the actual problem, don't sell your product.
Side effects may include: sneezing, itchy or irritated eyes, runny nose, dizziness, sore throat, depression, suicidal thoughts or actions, vomiting,
some forms of cancer and memory loss,
some deaths have also been reported.
Errr, that sound like a lot of side effects for just curing allergies.
Yes, but it's worth it!
But most of the side effects include what allergies actually are;
like sneezing, itchy or irritated eyes, runny nose and sore throat.
It's basically like you're paying money for allergies.
Yes, but it's worth it!


心懷不軌的廣告 (Sneaky Advertisements)

238 分類 收藏
Jessieeee 發佈於 2019 年 1 月 25 日    yining 翻譯    Jessieeee 審核
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