but decided not to because you were afraid

卻又不敢哭，因為你害怕

of what you would think of yourself

對於自己哭泣的想法

or what other people would think of you?

或其他人對於你哭泣的想法嗎？

What if a girl heard that you were crying?

要是有個女孩聽說你會哭

Would she even think that you were a real man anymore?

她還會覺得你是真男人嗎？

In this video, I'm going to break down exactly

這部影片中，我會確切指出

why you should cry and why believe it's only the weak men

為什麼你該哭泣，以及為什麼只有軟弱的男人

who think it's not masculine to cry

會覺得男人哭泣很沒有男子氣概

and to hold back his emotions.

並壓抑自己的情緒

To illustrate my point,

為了說明我的觀點

I'm going to tell you a personal story

我要告訴你一個，我朋友 Chris

about my friend Chris.

的個人故事

Chris was a guy who was incredibly good looking,

Chris 是一個非常帥

confident, funny, smooth,

有自信、幽默、圓融的人

and he always did phenomenally well with girls.

他和女生都相處得非常好

One day, Chris met this beautiful Brazilian girl

有一天，Chris 認識了這位漂亮的

named Andrea.

巴西女孩：Andrea

She had long brown hair, brown eyes, dark skin,

她有一頭咖啡色長髮、棕眼、深色皮膚

and a very warm smile.

還有溫暖的笑容

Chris and Andrea immediately got along

Chris 和 Andrea 一見如故

and they started to date each other for about two months.

並開始單獨約會了兩個月

They were not officially boyfriend and girlfriend

他們還不是正式男女朋友關係

but Chris was experiencing real emotion

但這是 Chris 多年來，第一次對一位女孩流露出

towards a girl for the first time in many many years.

真實的情感

One day Chris is walking home from his bartending job

有天，Chris 酒保的工作結束後，要走路回家

and he decided to stop by Andrea's house to say hi.

他決定順道去 Andrea 家打聲招呼

When he got there, he noticed that she was not there

當他到 Andrea 家門前，發現她不在家

which was strange because it was so late at night.

這很奇怪，因為當時已經很晚了

He didn't think much of it

他沒想太多

and then the next day he texted her asking her

接著隔天 Chris 私訊問 Andrea

how it was going.

妳昨天去哪了？

But she did not reply.

她沒有回覆

He then texted her again the following day

接下來幾天也傳訊息給她

but no response.

她也沒有回覆

And he did this for the next three to four days.

接下來的三到四天，都傳了訊息給她

And then finally, Chris receives a text

終於，Chris 收到了

from her saying, "Sorry, I've been very busy

她的回覆：「抱歉，最近幾天

over the past few days and I was with a friend

我都很忙，你來找我的那晚

that night you came by."

我和一個朋友在一起」

When Chris asked her to hang out,

當 Chris 想要約她出去時

she responded with, "Sorry, I'm also very busy

她回：「抱歉，這週

for the rest of the week."

我都很忙」

Chris continued to try to plan a date with her

Chris 繼續約她出去

but Andrea kept blowing him off last minute saying

但 Andrea 常常到最後一刻才說不能赴約

that something had come up like a last minute dinner,

像是有臨時晚餐

a last minute surprise party, that kind of thing.

臨時驚喜派對，之類的事情

After about three weeks of her continually canceling

經過大約三週後，Andrea 還是一直取消

on him, he finally gave up trying to organize a time

約會，最後 Chris 放棄約她出來

to meet up because it was torture for him

見面，因為對方一直取消和他的單獨約會

to keep making plans only for her to break them last minute.

對他來說是一種折磨

So eventually they stopped messaging

最後，他們也沒再互傳訊息了

and just like that it was over.

他們的關係就這樣結束了

When Chris told me the story,

當 Chris 告訴我這件事時

I could tell that he was very upset.

我聽得出來他很難過

I told him that he needs to cry or hit a punching bag

我跟他說：「你需要哭一下、打個沙包

or something to release these bad emotions

或是其他事物來宣洩心中的

that are currently inside of him

負面情緒

but he kept telling me, "Nah, I'm fine.

但他一直跟我說：「不用啦，我現在很好

I just want to forget her.

我只要忘記她就好

Thinking about this really puts me off."

想到這件事就讓我很嘔」

I think we all have seen a friend who has been very hurt

我們都看過自己的朋友因為某人

over someone or a bad break up to the point

而受傷，或是經歷不好的分手時

where he or she was so quiet and not acting

變得非常安靜

like their normal selves, they are almost unrecognizable.

不像平常一樣，就像變了個人

You can often tell just by looking at someone

光看著別人，你就可以知道

that they have some bad emotions in them.

他有心事

This can appear through their posture, facial expressions,

這可以從他的姿態、臉部表情

the inability to smile, and even the way they look at you.

笑不太出來，甚至是面對你的樣子

Bad emotions will keep you down just like chains.

負面情緒就像枷鎖，拖累著你

I'm also sure we all know someone

我們也看過身邊有人

who has never really 100 percent recovered

從未百分之百從不好的分手經驗中

from a bad breakup even years after it happened.

復原，即使分手是兩年前的往事

Some people go their whole lives still torn up

有些人，一生都被

about a bad breakup.

不好的分手經驗折磨

The thing that most people don't understand

大多人不了解情緒

about emotions is that you need to take the necessary steps

需要用一些方法

to get them out of your body,

宣洩出來

but if you don't, they will always stay inside of you.

如果不宣洩出來，負面情緒會一直存在心中

Releasing these bad emotions can be done

你可以用很多種方法

in a variety of ways.

宣洩這些負面情緒

You can yell, you can workout, you can laugh,

你可以大叫、可以健身、可以大笑

you can even have sex.

甚至是性愛

But the most effective way to release these emotions

但宣洩這些負面情緒最有效的方法

is the one most men stay away from which is crying

也就是大多男性拒絕的─哭泣

and this is because men do not think it is masculine to cry.

因為大多男性認為男生哭泣，很沒有男子氣概

So let's go back to my friend Chris.

回到我朋友 Chris 的事件上

Out of these two options,

這裡有兩種選擇

what sounds like the more masculine thing to do?

哪一種聽起來比較有男子氣概？

Option one: run away and hide from sad emotions

選項一：逃避並隱藏悲傷的情緒

because thinking about them is too difficult

因為想起這些事很痛苦

and he does not want to deal with them.

他也不想面對這種情緒

Or option two: he looks inside of himself

或是選項二：看進內心深處

and faces his sad emotions head on.

面對當下的悲傷情緒

He does not hide from them.

他沒有逃避負面情緒

He is not embarrassed by them

也沒有因此感到羞愧

and he knows it will probably make him cry

他也知道悲傷的情緒，會讓他想哭

but he understands that in order to move on

但他知道要走出陰霾

he has to deal with them even though it's really hard

他必須面對，即使這很困難

and it's going to really hurt him.

也會讓他感到難受

Strong people confront their fears and emotions.

堅強的人會面對恐懼與情緒

Weak people run away from them.

懦弱的人則會逃避

You have to deal with your emotions

你必須面對你的情緒

because that is the only option if you want to move forward

因為這是想要釋懷並感到快樂

and be happy.

唯一的方法

So if you're watching this and you have some sadness

如果看到這裡，內心還有一些悲傷

that is laying within you,

情緒的話

this is what I'll invite you to do.

我建議你這麼做

Go to your room, close the door, put on some headphones,

走進房間、關上門、戴上耳機

and listen to some really sad music

聽一些非常悲傷的音樂

and think really deep and hard about that sad thing

並深思那件讓你感到

that has been bothering you.

傷心難過的事

When you do this, you will feel that emotion come up

這樣一來，你會感覺情緒湧上心頭

and you could feel these tears come up

你能感受眼淚正在醞釀

but this time, do not fight it, do not block it off.

但這次，不要反抗、不要忍

I want you to embrace the emotion and embrace the tears.

我要你面對情緒，並面對眼淚

Confront your emotions and move on.

面對你的情緒，走出陰霾

Share this video with a friend who needs to see it.

分給這部影片給需要的人

Thanks again for watching and I'll see you in the next one.

再次，謝謝觀看這部影片，下部影片再見

(soft piano music)

(輕柔的鋼琴音樂)