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  • On that day, humanity received a grim reminder:

    那一天,人類又重新想起了那種恐懼

  • *suspense*

    雖然說這一幕已經被惡搞到一點都不正經了 ´_ゝ`

  • That this scene has been parodied so much that no one could take it seriously anymore.

    巨人會把我們當食物吃掉!

  • *gasp*

    可是我們在城牆裡面欸

  • Eren: THE TITANS ARE GONNA EAT US 'CUZ WE'RE CATTLE!

    他們是絕對不可能破門而入的啦

  • Mikasa: But we have walls.

    σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ

  • Hannes: and there's no way they can break through the front door.

    ……大概啦

  • *sounds of excruciating pain*

    天啊,我們得把老媽救出來!

  • *sounds of excruciating pain in background*

    艾倫,快救救我

  • Probably.

    別怕,我來拯救大家啦!

  • Eren : OH GOD, WE GOTTA SAVE MUM!

    漢斯,有你在真是太好了

  • Carla : Oh Eren, put your back into it!

    漢斯,趕快幫艾倫一起把我給--

  • Hannes : Have no fear, I'm here to save the day!

    塊陶RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

  • Hannes, Thank god!

    漢斯你衝三小啦 (☉д⊙)

  • Alright, I need you to help Eren-

    漢斯,快救我媽啊

  • FUCKING RUUUN!!!!

    去你媽啦

  • HANNES, WHAT THE FUCK!?

    去你的漢斯 (☉д⊙)

  • HANNES, MY MUM!

    (*゚∀゚*)

  • Fuck ya mum!

    天啊,我褲子都脫了你給我看這個? (「性感熟女在兒子面前被生吞活剝」)

  • Mum: Fuck you, Hannes!

    ♫:Linked Horizon - 紅蓮の弓矢

  • NOOOOOOOoooooOOOOoooooo

    Jäger!!! (/‵Д′)/~ ╧╧

  • Oh God, this is not what I thought when I clicked this link!

    爽啦唱得真好 (゚∀゚)

  • *humming Guren no Yumiya*

    艾倫,你感覺如何?

  • JAEGER!

    我發誓從今以後我要殺爆所有巨人!!!!!! 讓他們死無葬身之處!!!!!!

  • *clap* Nailed it!

    我要屠殺所有的巨人,用他們的鮮血沐浴!!!!!! 他們將聞風喪膽!!!!!!

  • Eren, how are you feeling?

    (/‵Д′)/~ ╧╧

  • FROM THIS DAY, I SWEAR I'M GONNA KILL EVERY LAST TITAN!!!

    他還在繼續嗎?

  • BUT NOT BEFORE I DANCE ON THEIR GRAVES!

    是啊(嘆

  • WHEN I'M SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD OF ALL THE TITANS I'VE MASSACRED, THEY WILL KNOW THE NAME!

    所有的巨人都會死在我的手裡!!!!!!

  • EVERY LAST DAMN ONE I'M GONNA FUCKIN- *constant rambling*

    老天艾倫你已經他媽的吼了兩年了 你到底在大聲什麼啦

  • Mikasa : Is he still going?

    所以……你剛剛說你喜歡巨人?

  • Armin : Yep. :I

    噢天啊,別再跟他提起巨人了

  • EVERY TITAN WILL DIE AT MY HAND!

    歡迎你們進入訓練兵團

  • JESUS EREN IT'S BEEN TWO FUCKING YEARS SHUT THE FUCK UP!

    雖然說大部份的訓練根本沒用 因為你們十之八九都會掛掉

  • So, do you like titans?

    配角們,自我介紹一下

  • Oh my god.

    我是網友的惡搞素材

  • NO, FUCK THEM ALL, I'LL NEVER SUBMIT!

    我有媲美「巨人」的翹臀

  • Welcome to Military school, all of this training will probably be useless

    反正沒人會記得我

  • Because 90% of you will die anyway.

    我會活下來 (*゚∀゚*)

  • SIDE CHARACTERS, INTRODUCE YOURSELVES.

    立旗囉 σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ

  • Sasha : I'm an internet meme!

    而我就是本作的搶眼配角啦!

  • Annie : I have a great ass when it's titanic.

    閉嘴啦那個誰的

  • I'M GOING TO BE FORGOTTEN!

    等你變成主角再來跟我抬槓吧

  • I'M GOING TO BE ALIVE!

    (讓的戲份88)

  • *silence*

    等等,我的戲份又不像SAO的克萊茵一樣被砍掉

  • *distant shout* TOO SOON!

    別理那傢伙,對我來說你就是主角

  • Jean : Well I'm going to be an actual interesting character

    閉嘴啦馬可

  • Shut up Jean or Jeaaan

    等你不是領便當的免洗角色 再來跟我抬槓

  • come back when you're a main character.

    (馬可88)

  • *sad violin*

    早就告訴你不要亂立旗了吧 σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ

  • Hey hold on a second, I have screentime!

    恭喜各位從訓練兵團畢業

  • Don't listen to him, you're my main character

    從今天起你們都是官方認證的巨人飼料啦

  • Shut up Marco, come back when you're not a disposable character.

    現在我有能對付巨人的武器了!

  • *sad violin*

    事實上我並不認為中二病算得上是武器

  • *sad violin* TOO SOON!

    別理米卡莎,我一定會砍爆那些蠢巨人

  • CONGRATULATIONS ON GRADUATING, YOU ARE NOW

    你怎不當著我的面再說一次要砍爆我啊你這小賤貨?

  • OFFICIALLY CERTIFIED CANNON FODDER!

    巨人入侵啦!

  • I now have all the weapons I need to kill the titans.

    終於到了我大顯身手幹爆巨人的時刻了!

  • Actually, last time I checked, edge isn't actually a weapon.

    一想到要真的和巨人作戰我就有點怕怕啊!!!

  • *internal thoughts* Don't listen to her, those stupid titans don't stand a

    我完全沒有感到怕怕的!!!

  • chance against me.

    為什麼我們都要用吼的講話!!!

  • *thunderbolt*

    誰知道!!! 這部動畫裡的人不都是這樣講話的嗎!!!!!!

  • Why don't you say that against my face you lil' bitch

    你工三小!!!!!!

  • THE TITANS HAVE INVADED!

    你到底在工三小啦!!!!!!

  • Looks like we get to fight titans!

    大家我嚇到尿褲子啦!!!!!!

  • I AM SLIGHTLY FRETFUL OF THE THOUGHT OF FIGHTING TITANS!

    馬鈴薯!!!!!!

  • I STRONGLY DISAGREE WITH YOUR SENTIMENT THERE!

    σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ

  • WHY ARE WE ALL SHOUTING!?

    搞屁啊大家喊那麼大聲,結果馬上就死光了

  • I DUNNO, ISN'T THIS HOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO

    除了我!因為我可是主--

  • COMMUNICATE IN THIS SHOW?

    (--梶裕貴)

  • WHAAAAAAAAT?

    米卡莎,妳男朋友兼哥哥死了

  • *epic music over the shouting*

    嘿!艾倫才不是我男朋友呢

  • WHAAAAAAAAT?

    -還不是啦 (*´∀`)~♥ -怕. jpg

  • GUYS I JUST PISSED MYSELF!

    你知道為什麼艾倫對我來說如此重要嗎?

  • GRRRRRRRR!

    嘿米卡莎,這條蠢圍巾拿去!

  • AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

    噢天啊他竟然把他的圍巾給我了

  • GRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

    這聞起來超讚的,只要我一直戴著Senpai就會注意到我

  • POTATOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEE!

    然後我們就可以約會結婚生一堆小孩RRRRRRRR ♥

  • *series of deaths*

    妳喜歡嗎?

  • WHAT THE FUCK? EVERYONE IS DEAD!

    嘛,還、還可以啦

  • Except for me, 'cuz I'm the main-

    是啊,失去艾倫之後,我活著還有什麼意義呢?

  • Yeah, your boyfriend/brother is dead.

    哇你們有看到那隻巨人嗎?那會是誰呢?

  • Hey, he's not my boyfriend...

    (廣大網民:)艾倫

  • ...yet.

    認真說,不然還有可能是誰?

  • Gross.

    噢拜託那樣也太明顯了吧--

  • Do you even know why he means so much to me?

    哇!快看!真的是艾倫變的耶!

  • Here Mikasa, have this dumb scarf!

    (廣大網民棒讀:)哇,我的天啊!誰知道呢?太神啦!太出乎意料啦!

  • OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE HE GAVE ME A SCARF

    吃屎吧你們

  • IT SMELLS SO GOOD MAYBE IF I WEAR IT ENOUGH

    我給你們五分鐘證明自己是清白的!

  • HE'LL START TO NOTICE ME AND THEN WE'LL START DATING

    不然我們就用大砲轟飛你們的腦袋!

  • AND THEN GET MARRIED AND GET A BUNCH OF KIDS

    阿爾敏,現在大家都覺得我是人類的威脅

  • AND THEN KYAAAAAAAHHHHHH

    就交給你證明我的清白了!我相信你辦的到!

  • Do you like it?

    別射你們這群豬頭RRRRRRR

  • Eh, it's alright.

    別殺他們,也許我們能靠他們來把城牆上的洞補起來呢

  • THAT'S RIGHT, WHAT'S THE POINT OF LIVING ANYMORE?

    是擅長想作戰計畫的朋友呢,趕快把計畫告訴大家吧

  • Guys, did you see that titan, what do you think it could possibly be?

    聽好了各位,我們要發起瑪麗亞之牆奪還計畫!

  • Eren, Eren, Eren, Probably Eren

    仔細聽好了,以下就是我們的作戰計畫

  • Seriously who else is it gonna it be?

    他應該知道這裡距離上面有200英尺吧?

  • Oh come on! That's way too obvi-

    宰了那些巨人

  • oh look it's actually eren

    用王子妙事多的風格

  • oh wow, oh my god i knew this- see that? *constant rambling

    不,他完全不知道我們根本聽不到

  • god that's such a surprise(!)

    但這就是我們的作戰計畫!有任何問題嗎?

  • Fuck you all.

    .....

  • YOU HAVE EXACTLY 5 MINUTES TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF

    很好,妳了解作戰計畫了嗎?

  • BEFORE WE BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT!

    讓艾倫發現自己也是巨人,然後崩潰打爆自己的臉

  • Armin, everyone thinks I'm now a threat to humanity

    就是這樣

  • It's up to you to convince them. I trust you'll know how to.

    嘿艾倫,你猜怎麼著

  • *clears throat*

    你是巨人!

  • *large inhale*

    σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ

  • DON'T SHOOT DICKHEAD!!1

    快讓他再打一次!

  • *they shoot*

    等等,我們應該先按照計畫讓他去搬石頭

  • Pixis : Maybe instead of killing our only hope, we should

    各位不好意思,借過一下,這玩意超重的

  • use him to plug up the wall!

    呃……金木你第二季還沒走完啊?

  • That's a great plan sir, you should probably tell everyone

    這裡是哪裡啊?

  • RIGHT SO LISTEN UP!

    等等!你們不就是……

  • We are going to take back the wall

    調查兵團(天曉得英文版為什麼會有這麼多不同的譯名)

  • from the Titans

    隨便啦

  • So, hear this plan

    而我是里維兵長

  • What we're going to do is

    迷妹尖叫-(*´д`)~♥ (*´д`)~♥ (*´д`)~♥

  • *inaudible*

    剛剛那尖叫聲是三小?

  • He does realize he's like, 200ft up now, right?

    別管他

  • WE'LL TAKE THEIR LIVES, AND TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN,

    艾倫,這把通往你家地下室的鑰匙是劇情關鍵

  • PRINCE OF BEL-AIR STYLE!

    你能告訴大家地下室裡到底有什麼嗎?

  • Nope, he has absolutely no idea.

    好的,我父親曾經告訴我,要怎麼知道地下室有什麼

  • BUT THAT IS THE PLAN, DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?

    嘿爸,我們家地下室到底有什麼啊?

  • *extremely far away* whaaaat?

    想知道嗎?兒子

  • Alright, did you catch all that?

    是不會自己去看漫畫喔?

  • Get Eren so triggered by his titan self that he punches

    幹你原作黨

  • himself in the face.

    動畫黨哭哭

  • YeeeEEES!

    針對艾倫是否要被處決的審判開始

  • Hey Eren!

    雙方請發表意見

  • Guess what?

    -宰了他 -別他媽宰了他,拜託

  • YOU'RE A TITAN!

    雙方都提出了強而有力的論點!

  • *mocking laughter*

    城牆教徒有什麼看法嗎?

  • Do it, do it again!

    身為一個虔誠的城牆教徒

  • Ah wait we should probably get him to carry the boulder.

    我們相信所有非我族類的外來者都很危險

  • Outta the way guys, this thing is quite heavy.

    我們偉大的先知兼創始教主「全能川普」早就預言了

  • ~Unravel playing~

    被告你有什麼要辯護的嗎?

  • Excuse me, I'm walkin' here.

    冷靜,艾倫,你知道怎麼樣應對最有效

  • *scoff* Where am I?

    大聲吼就能解決我的問題嗎?!

  • Wait a minute, you're the-

    太棒了,繼續踢 ♥

  • Erwin : Survey Corps.

    夠了

  • Levi : Scouting Regiment.

    再來 ♥

  • Scouting Legion.

    不要再爽了

  • Recon Corps.

    喔寶貝繼續踢我吧 ♥

  • Whatever.

    夠了

  • Yes, and I'm Captain Levi.

    隊長,艾倫很享受過程

  • *fangirls scream*

    艾倫,你不準再爽囉

  • Uhh, what was that?

    用力一點 ♥

  • Ignore that.

    艾倫!

  • So Eren, remember this key which opens your basement?

    原來在腐女心中這一幕是這樣演的啊

  • That's gonna be a HUUUGE plot point now?

    夠了

  • Would you mind telling us what's in it?

    我提議從今以後由我來私下全天候監視艾倫

  • Yeah, I remember. My dad told me before..

    噢天啊太爽啦 ♥♥♥

  • Hey dad, what's in our basement?

    天殺的

  • Ah, sure thing son, it's called:

    通過!反正現在所有粉絲都知道你們是這種SM關係了

  • Go read the fucking manga.

    終於把雜事處理完了,來介紹里維小隊的隊員吧

  • God damn it.

    死人一號

  • Every bloody time.

    死人二號

  • Alright, in the trial of whether or whether not we should execute Eren Jeager,

    死人三號

  • will both side please state their cases?

    還有佩托拉

  • Kill him.

    大家只關心我因為我是唯一的萌妹子

  • Don't fuckin' kill him, please.

    那她又是誰?

  • Compelling arguements!

    巨人讓我慾火焚身!

  • How does the wall religion view this?

    我有沒有聽錯?

  • As a follower of the wall, it is our belief that

    沒錯喔 ♥

  • any foreign object will pose a great threat to us,

    錯了

  • As foretold long ago by our founder and Supreme Prophet,

    介紹就到此為止,該出動了,調查兵團

  • Lord Trump.

    但是在此之前……

  • Does the defendant have anything to say?

    該打掃囉 ヽ(✿゚▽゚)ノ

  • Okay, Eren you can get through this the best way you know how:

    噢老天看到你打掃讓我整個都濕惹

  • DOES SHOUTING REALLY LOUD SOLVE MY PROBLEMS?

    三小?

  • *grunt* yeah

    沒事 (*゚∀゚*)

  • stop

    等等 我們要騎多久的馬啊?

  • urghuh, again.

    大概5集左右吧

  • oof, ahh

    三小?之前明明一集就可以跳好幾年的

  • stoooop.

    現在下半季有一半拿來騎馬是要衝三小?

  • aww baby yeah

    編劇到底在幹嘛?

  • GRRR STOP!

    這隻巨人的翹臀超讚

  • guh, ahahuh!

  • as

    噢現在他媽是什麼情況!?

  • STOP.

    別擔心,艾倫 艾爾文的計畫就算失敗也不會死人的

  • *tattletale* Captain, Eren's enjoying it!

    沒錯,這個計畫就算失敗也不會死人啦

  • Eren, stop enjoying it.

    任務成功啦

  • aghfff

    任務失敗啦

  • more!

    里維小隊,解決她!

  • yeh

    GG,里維小隊要被殺光啦

  • Stop.

    (*゚∀゚*)

  • Eeerrrren!

    佩托拉!不!

  • AUGH

    打得真準啊!智障

  • Is this really how the Fuijoshis saw this scene?

    我的老天鵝啊,艾倫你可以不要再被吃掉了嗎?

  • Look, enough of this. I propose that from now on that

    我的老天,難道凡事都一定要讓我自己動手嗎?

  • Eren will be supervised by me privately at all times.

    迷妹尖叫-(*´д`)~♥ (*´д`)~♥ (*´д`)~♥

  • Eren : OH GOD YES!!!

    我不知道你怎麼想,但我認為這次任務根本是場悲劇

  • God damn it.

    感謝調查兵團的努力,一天又平安的過去了

  • SUSTAINED! Under the notion that all fans now think

    (六人行4ni)

  • you have this weird dominatrix thing going on with each other.

    嘿嘿嘿嘿♫

  • Now that that's over, allow me to introduce my crew.

    笑屁啊林北整個小隊都死光了誒

  • Dead 1

    我知道大家現在都有點消沉

  • Dead 2

    但是至少我們知道亞妮就是女巨人了

  • Dead 3

    雖然真是超級有夠明顯的

  • and Petra

    連瞎子都看出來了

  • Petra : I'm the only one who everyone cares about

    不過這次我準備了一個防呆的計畫

  • because I'm a cute girl.

    絕對可以把亞妮引誘到陷阱裡

  • What about her?

    什麼計畫?

  • Hange : TITANS MAKE ME HORNY

    亞妮!快過來!霸托霸托霸托!

  • *silence*

  • Did I just hear that correctly?

    根本沒屁用啊!

  • Yes.

    幹他媽該死

  • No.

    艾倫,現在是憤怒變身的好時機

  • Enough of this! Survey Corps, head out.

    那不就是我的強項嗎,我無時無刻都很憤怒啊

  • But first, we CLEAN!

    RRRRRRR 豪痛RRRR

  • Oh god, seeing you clean makes me so wet.

    呃……剛才應該有什麼事該發生嗎?

  • Levi: What?

    我也不知道!我只是覺得這樣咬手好像很酷

  • Eren: Whut?

    讓我再試一次!

  • *Indiana Jones theme*

    RRRRRRR 幹第二次更痛 RRRRRR

  • Eren : Wait how long are we gonna be riding on these horses?

    艾倫,快變成巨人啊

  • Oh, about 5 episodes or so.

    我在試了!OK?

  • WHAT?

    你試得還不夠努力啊!

  • How have we gone from years passing in a single

    你到底要我怎麼樣!?

  • episode to spending half an arc on a fuckin' horse?!?

    夠了艾倫,就閉嘴然後變成她媽的巨人

  • What is this arc even about?

    只有我這樣想嗎? 這場面看起來像是超級狂野的巨人性愛

  • That titan's got a nice ass.

    夠了阿爾敏,這場面已經夠詭異了

  • FUACK!

    束手就擒吧,亞妮

  • Aw, what the fuck is that?

    幹她媽這又是尛鬼東西!?

  • Don't worry Eren, it's all part of Erwin's failsafe plan.

    外掛!? 這是他媽的外掛

  • Erwin : It's all part of Erwin's failsafe plan.

    艾爾文,才幾天就造成了數百人死亡

  • Mission Success!

    需要數年才能修復的城市損害

  • *powerful scream*

    而我們唯一的戰果是一個根本碰不到的犯人

  • *another thunderbolt*

    你有什麼話想說的嗎?

  • Mission Failed!

    感謝調查兵團的努力,一天又平安的過去了

  • Levi Squad, get her!

    哈哈哈哈哈♫ 嘿嘿嘿嘿♫

  • *A-Team theme*

    製作人:艾倫他家地下室

  • *cut*

    領銜主演:等了4年的第二季

  • *bash*

    為什麼你對我媽見死不救!你這畜生!

  • *kick*

    對不起,我也不願意

  • oh no, levi squad...

    但是喬斯達家族的秘密武器就是逃跑啊

  • they're dead...

    你剛剛是用了一個JOJO梗嗎?

  • *scream of anguish*

    艾倫你在胡說什麼,你媽都死了誰還跟你JOJO梗

  • *stomp*

    不管誰死了都還是可以用JOJO梗啦

  • PETRA! NOOOOOOO!

    好啦,沒錯

  • *crunch*

    剛剛那個是JOJO梗沒錯啦

  • *distant shout* NICE PUNCH JACKASS!

    現在她媽是什麼狀況?

  • Oh my god...

    嘿大家好 希望你們喜歡這一集

  • EREN CAN YOU STOP GETTING EATEN ALREADY?

    這個月非常感謝

  • Jesus Christ, do I have to do everything myself?

    如果你對更多「__分鐘看動畫」系列有興趣

  • *action music and fangirls screaming*

    可以看看我其他類似的作品

  • Well, I dunno about you but I'd call this mission a complete bust.

    然後我要感謝所有的工作人員

  • Erwin : JUST ANOTHER DAY FOR THE SURVEY CORPS!

    和我的編劇把這寫的那麼好

  • *Seinfield theme plays*

    時間也差不多了 下周我會待在日本

  • *Seinfield theme plays* ehehehe

    但我不在時影片還是會上傳

  • MY ENTIRE TEAM IS DEAD!

    在那之前我是gigguk 我們下回再見

  • I know we're all feeling a lil' bit down but we figured out

  • Annie is the female titan even though it's blindly obvious to everyone watching,

  • Even for blind people.

  • And I have an absolutely foolproof plan to lure her into a trap

  • What's the plan?

  • Annie, come with us, please, please, pleeeaaasee?

  • no.

  • It didn't work!