We are at an restaurant called Jisaku, and we are about to enjoy a ceremonial meal called a kaiseki.

我們現在在一間叫つきじ治作的餐廳，等著要享用迎賓晚宴，叫懷石料理。

Kaiseki.

懷石料理。

Kaiseki.

懷石料理。

Yeah.

嗯哼。

Isn't that what I said?

我有唸錯嗎？

Yes, it is, I reinforced what you said.

沒有啊，我只是再次強調而已。

Okay, you look lovely.

好，你穿得很好看。

Thank you.

謝謝。

The high priest of meaningless conversation.

看起來像個只會講廢話的大祭司。

Arigatou.

謝謝。

I understand that you just learned the word arigatou, but it is not applicable for every situation.

我知道你剛學會謝謝這個詞，但它不是適用於每個場合。

It is to say thank you...

它是在向對方表達謝...

I was thanking her for coming into the room.

我在謝謝她進來房間服務啊！

Right.

好。

So...what's wrong with that?

是有哪裡不對嗎？

- Well, contextually... - Thank you is never wrong.

- 好，從剛剛的情況... - 「謝謝」這句話不會有什麼不妥好嗎！

Konbanwa, Iowa.

晚安，愛荷華。(日文)

Iowa is a state that is not relevant here.

愛荷華是一個美國的州，跟日本一點關係都沒有。

Ohayou is what I wanted to say.

我是想說 ohayou 啦！

Yes. Uh-huh.

嗯哼。

What's ohayou?

那 ohayou 是什麼意思？

That would be hello in the morning.

那是早上打招呼的用語。

I said Iowa 'cause I thought that was me saying hello.

我會說愛荷華只是因為我以為那是日文的你好。

Right.

好哦！

- And that was not me trying to be funny. - You made a mistake.

- 我不是故意要搞笑。 - 所以你錯了。

You were incorrect.

你講錯了。

Well, I do applaud the effort.

但我很讚賞你的努力。

She is moments away from drowning herself in the koi pond rather than hear one second more of this babble.

她寧願把自己溺死在鯉魚池，也不想聽你在那邊胡言亂語。

Ooh!

哇嗚！

What is that?

這是什麼？

Just sit.

乖乖坐好。

You work for me.

我是你的老闆耶！

You don't have to constantly speak.

你沒必要一直講話。

This from you, the man who turns the slightest answer to a question into a Russian novel.

這話竟然會從你這種可以把最簡單的回答講成俄羅斯小說的人嘴裡說出來。

Sorry for my friend. Babababababababa...

抱歉，我朋友就是這樣，嘰哩呱啦的一直吵。

Yeah, right.

對吧。

International language.

這就是國際語言啦！

What are you doin'?

你在幹嘛？

You're a pervert.

你是變態喔！

That's the same face you make when you're smelling a lady's shoe.

你在偷聞女生鞋子的時候就是這個臉。

Let's just remember that every aspect of Japanese culture is influenced in some part by the Shinto beliefs that the gods, the Kami, are everywhere.

日本文化的每個層面都受到神道信仰的影響，神的日文稱作かみ (kami)，他們認為神是無處不在的。

They are in every object, and they flow through us.

神存在於世間萬物，也在我們體內流動。

The Shinto is everywhere, in us, as well.

神道無所不在，此刻亦然。

I think you're full of Shinto.

我覺得你現在就是。

If you pass me your glass, I will honor you by filling your sake glass.

如果你把你的酒杯遞給我，我會幫你酌酒以示尊敬。

- Oh, you fill mine? - And you can choose...

- 噢！你要幫我倒嗎？ - 然後你可以...

- And then, I can... - Whether you want to do the same, return the honor for me.

- 然後我可以... - 看你要不要也幫我倒，回敬我。

And no.

我不要。

That is good soup.

這湯真好喝。

A probiotic soup like miso will fortify your intestinal flora, improve both your digestion, but also your overall health and immunity.

像味噌這種富含益生菌的湯可以增強腸道菌群、改善消化系統、免疫系統和整體的健康狀況。

Really?

真假？

Yeah.

對啊！

That's funny 'cause I find you hard to stomach.

真有趣欸，因為你總是讓人胃痛。

Domo arigatou, Mr. Roboto.

非常謝謝您，機器人先生。

- Now, some of these dishes were... - Shh...

－現在上的餐點呢... - 噓噓噓...

Yes, you are right to laugh, I am very funny. Arigatou.

真懂我的幽默，我知道我很搞笑，謝謝。

Yes, genius.

太聰明了。

She knows what you want to see, and she gives it to you.

她知道你想要什麼樣的回應，她是刻意這麼做的。

She is laughing for real.

她是發自真心的微笑好嗎！

- No, she honors you. - She can tell that I'm being funny.

- 不是，那只是因為她尊敬你。 - 她知道我在搞笑。

- No. - She is not humoring me.

- 才不是。 - 她才不是在迎合我。

- There is nothing... - She's laughing because I am a naturally... - I understand you, and I don't think you're funny right now.

- 現在沒什麼... - 她會笑是因為我真的... - 我懂你，你現在一點都不好笑。

I doubt that she thinks you're funny.

我認為她才不覺得好笑。

What is funny about you?

你哪裡有趣？

And I'm sure this nice waitress, while she may not understand what we say, assumes that I'm the one in power here.

雖然那位貼心的服務生不知道我們在說什麼，但我敢說她一定覺得我才是這裡的老大。

Why do you think she thinks...

你又知道她在想什麼...

Because I understand this culture, and we resonate.

因為我了解日本文化，而且我們之間有共鳴。

Like a window pane upon hearing a certain frequency vibrating back and forth, she and I are resonating.

就像當窗戶的玻璃感受到特定的頻率，它就會跟著來回震動，我跟她就是這樣。

You think you're resonating with her.

你覺得你跟她有共鳴？

Yes.

沒錯。

I'm the one that makes her laugh every time.

我才是那個讓她開懷大笑的人。

You are the fly banging against the window.

你只是朝窗戶亂撞一通的蒼蠅。

I'm the one she likes.

她喜歡我。

She likes you because you're a jester.

她會喜歡你是因為你是小丑。

I'm the one she will eventually marry.

我會是最後跟她結婚的人！

Oops, that's awkward.

噢噢，尷尬了。

Could you pour me some more?

你可以再幫我倒一些嗎？

Yes.

好啊！

- I honor you, and you can choose whether you want to do the same for me. - Glass, please.

- 我敬你，你可以選擇要不要也回敬我。 - 麻煩給我杯子。

And no.

我才不要咧！

My question for you is, Jordan.

喬登，我要問你一個問題。

Yeah.

嗯哼。

In addition to Italy, you've had a long obsession with Japan.

除了義大利之外，你也對日本文化很感興趣。

When did that begin for you?

從什麼時候開始的？

My fascination with Japanese culture began with the Karate Kid Part II.

自從我看了龍威小子第二集後，我就對日本文化漸漸著迷。

Now, that movie was shot and took place in Okinawa, which is a southern part of Japan.

電影中的故事發生地跟拍攝地點都是在沖繩，位於日本的南邊。

Mhm.

嗯。

- And well, Daniel was staying in a ryokan, which is a... - Daniel?

- 電影中，丹尼爾住在一間旅館，那裡... - 丹尼爾？

Oh yeah, Daniel-san.

對啊，丹尼爾先生。

Played by Ralph Macchio, which is actually the Italian way pronounced Macchio.

由雷夫．馬奇歐飾演，但其實這個名字的義大利發音是馬「基」歐。

But I believe he pronounces it Macchio, and I'll respect his decision.

但他本人應該是唸馬奇歐，我尊重他的唸法。

So Jordan, let's recap.

好了，喬登，我們言簡意賅地回顧一下。

Yeah.

好。

Your entire fascination with Japan...

你對日本的著迷...

Mhm.

嗯。

Stems from the fact that you saw Karate Kid 2.

是源自於《小子難纏》第二集。

Yeah.

沒錯。

And that it was filmed in, where?

那它是在哪裡拍攝的？

- Okinawa. - Okinawa.

- 沖繩。 - 沖繩。

I have a message here for you, please press play.

我有個訊息要給你，請你按下撥放鍵。

And hold that out to the camera as you watch it.

在看的時候麻煩拿著手機對著鏡頭。

Hi, Conan, it's me, Ralph Macchio.

嗨！康納，我是雷夫．馬奇歐。

Listen, I'm sorry to interrupt.

不好意思打斷你們一下。

I just wanted tell that Jordan guy that all the scenes in Karate Kid Part II that was supposed to be Japan were actually shot in Hawaii.

我只是想跟喬登那傢伙說，《小子難纏》第二集裡面所呈現的日本場景其實是在夏威夷拍的。

Oh, and Jordan, those weren't real dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.

噢，還有！喬登，那些侏儸紀公園裡面的恐龍不是真的。

Sayounara.

再會囉！

It was Hawaii!

是在夏威夷！

Thank you, Ralph Macchio.

雷夫．馬「基」歐，謝啦！

You fraud.

你這騙子。

- I understand that movies are make believe. - You fraud.

- 我知道電影不是真的。 - 你再騙啊。

- I think right now you're in shock. - Yes, I am in shock.

- 我想你現在應該很震驚。 - 是，我是蠻驚訝的。

And you're gonna try and talk yourself out of it.

你現在想為自己開脫。

No, no, I'm in shock.

沒有，我真的還在震驚中。

Your childhood hero just came out of my phone.

你童年的英雄剛剛就出現在我的手機上。

- Yeah. - And took a shit into your mouth.

- 是。 - 直接打你臉。

I am shocked that you had our talent booker reach out to his publicist, you have the connections.

我驚訝的點在於你居然可以聯絡到他的公關，你居然有那個人際關係。

Yeah, I can get to Ralph Macchio.

對，我可以聯絡到雷夫．馬奇歐。

Yeah, yes, you can.

對啊，是，你辦得到。

You, sir, are a fool.

而你則是個笨蛋。

- I do not know where Ralph Macchio shot the Karate Kid 2. - It's Macchio!

- 我不知道雷夫．馬基歐的《小子難纏》第二集是在哪裡拍的。 - 是馬奇歐！

- Because I'm a fool. - It's Macchio!

- 因為我是笨蛋。 - 是馬奇歐！

- I am a fool for not knowing where that movie was shot. - It's Macchio!

- 我是個不知道這電影在哪裡拍攝的笨蛋。- 是馬奇歐！

It's Macchio.

是馬「基」歐啦！

- And I could get to him if I wanted to.

- 如果我真的有心的話我也可以聯絡到他。

- It's Macchio. - Do you understand?

- 是馬奇歐！ - 你懂我的意思嗎？

- Oh yeah, oh great. - I can get to Macchio.

- 嗯哼，好哦，很好啊。 - 我可以找到他。

Listen to you, right now, you sound like an insane stalker.

聽聽你自己在講什麼，你現在聽起來就像變態跟蹤狂一樣。

We have footage of you with your eyes as wide as an owl saying, "I could get to Macchio, I can get to him!"

我們現在有你像貓頭鷹一樣雙眼圓睜，一邊說著「我也可以找到馬基歐，我也可以找到他」的片段喔！

I can get to Macchio, I can get to Macchio.

我也可以找到馬基歐！我也可以找到馬基歐！

I can get to Macchio.

我也可以找到馬基歐！

Sayounara！

再會啦！