It's very advanced, because the game is spelled with an underscore between "watch" and "dogs."

Ubisoft Montreal, the company responsible for

the Holocaust

and the Splinter Cell series

tries their hand at combining those two games into Grand Theft Auto.

Now think back when Watch_Dogs was supposed to be released next to GTAV.

[ cackles ]

Now I know what you guys are sayin'.

"Man, Dunkey, you don't like any games!"

But that's not true.

There are seven good games.

The shooting in Watch_Dogs is very satisfying,

because I bought a PlayStation 4 to play Watch_Dogs.

At least I can always go back to Knack.

Did you know that the driving in this game was developed

by a gay rattlesnake,

Fabio Enchilada?

The driving physics are like this, pretty much.

Actually no, they're more like this, I think.

This really sums it up.

Actually, it's kind of...

kind of like that -

There's like a hundred car chases in this game

and the driving is just not finished.

Eh, I'm a fucking cop I can shoot anybody!

Get the hell out of my way, you other cop!

I'm a fucking cop look at this shit!

WHEE

[ imitating car noises ]

Yeah, I'm right back on you! I'm a fucking cop!

The game is developed by 1,500 people who write computer code for a living.

That's why the hacking is so accurate and realistic, like this.

The biggest problem in Watch_Dogs: it's trying to tell the least interesting story in a video game to date.

Ubisoft, give it up.

Give up on trying to tell a story in a video game.

You cannot do it.

You are not capable

except

for Shaun White Snowboarding. What an excellent -

SHAUN WHITE is an extreme snarf boarder,

living it up in Beverly Hills,

snorting coke

and fucking whores.

Until one day, his whole life is flipped upside down when he falls in love with

a gay rattlesnake.

[ making noises ]

This is the most fun I've had in this stupid ass game.

Wait a minute!

They got a fun game in this game?

Hey man, Hey.

Checkmate! [ laughs ]

All right, my work here is done. I'll see you guys at the bar -

The story is actually a lot more exciting if you just skip all the cutscenes.

All right this is fucking boring, this is-

What?! The house is on fire -

There's a guy over there? Shoot him!

Who's this woman?

My house gonna blow, we gotta get out -

Oh my god... These people are so boring...

Who gives a shit -

OH MY GOD

HOW DID I GET HERE

WHAT IS HAPPENING

[ groaning ] Who cares?

No one cares about any of this!

Aaaand skip it!

[ Super Mario Sunshine music plays ] Waaait a minute!

Why am I a monkey in an oval?

This isn't even the right music!