I go to the bathroom and I pull out my phone,

我回到房間並拿出我的電話

and he has texted me,

他傳來簡訊

“I hope you're enjoying your peecess.”

「我希望妳能享受正在上廁所的過程。」

It may seem like there couldn't be a worse time to be alive and single.

似乎沒有比活著卻單身還要更糟糕的時候了

And then texted me asking me if he could come home with me.

然後他傳訊息給我，問我可不可以跟我一起回家

Just a slew of, like, poor dates, and, like, mediocre dates, and s***ty dates.

只是一堆，比如，糟糕的約會、無聊的約會以及爛透了的約會

But the truth is that for as long as it's been around, dating has always sucked.

但真相是只要有約會這件事，就會很糟糕

It's the late 1800s.

這是 19 世紀末

These are the presidents.

這些是總統們

This is how people dress.

這就是人們穿著的方式

This is the music they listen to.

這是他們聽的音樂

And this is how single people get together.

這就是單身人士聚在一起的方式

I see you've already chosen your corner.

我看到你已經選擇了你要站的地方了

Better known as “calling,” it's the predominant mode of courtship among the middle class.

這種方式通常稱為「呼喚」，為中產階級主要的求愛模式

The basic setup of calling was that a woman would have hours when she was receiving callers

呼喚的基本設定就是，女士會待在家幾個小時來招待

at home.

追求者

This is Moira Weigel.

這位是 Moira Weigel

I'm a junior fellow at Harvard University and the author of a book called Labor of Love:

我是哈佛大學大三的學生，也是一本名為「愛的勞動」書籍的作者：

The Invention of Dating.

約會的發明

The basic script is that a man shows up at your house,

基礎的劇本就是男生會出現在妳家

asks whether you will see him,

問妳要不要跟他約會

and then you sit together in a parlor and sort of spend time together,

然後妳們一起坐在客廳，共度時光

with either direct or sort of from-the-next-room family supervision.

伴隨著直接或間接來自家人的監督

Sounds super hot.

聽起來很火辣

At the time, 75% of Americans lived in small towns or on farms.

在那個時代，75% 的美國人住在小城鎮或是農場

If you think meeting someone at a bar is tough,

如果你認為要在酒吧認識另一半很困難

try finding a spouse in a town where you'd only encounter

試著在你有機會遇到你一生中潛在配偶的小鎮中

a handful of potential partners in your lifetime.

尋找你的伴侶

And while it may seem like the way we date is dictated by things like love and affection,

雖然我們約會的方式看起來像是由愛和感情之類的東西決定的

it was actually driven by something far less romantic:

但它實際上是由一些不那麼浪漫的東西所驅動的：

In America in the 1880s, 1890s, you have these floods of migration both from the countryside

在 19 世紀 80 及 90 年代的美國，有來自鄉村

to the city

的移民

and from other countries to the United States.

或來自別的國家的移民

As the country industrializes, urban populations explode.

隨著國家工業化，都市人口大增

The population of New York increases seven times between 1850 and 1900,

紐約人口在 1850 年到 1900 年之間增加了 7 倍

and Philadelphia's goes up 12 times.

而費城的人口增加 12 倍

You only have people going out into public spaces and meeting and mixing in this way

人們出外之公共場合見面及交流，這種方式

that we call dating

我稱之為約會

once you have lots of young people moving to cities

一旦有很多年輕人移到都市

and especially women entering the paid workforce.

尤其是女性進到職場工作

Many women step outside their homes to work for the first time,

許多女性踏出家門初次開始工作

and that gives them exposure to potential suitors in a way they never had before.

這賦予她們從未有過的，能夠遇見自己潛在另一伴的機會

Courtship shifted from something that happened in private, tea and supervised small talk

求愛的方式從私下、喝茶以及在家由家人監督下的

in your home,

小小交談

to activities that happened in public:

變成會在公共場合下進行的活動：

going to restaurants, movies, and amusement parks.

去餐廳、看電影以及去遊樂園玩

From that point on, in order to meet somebody, you had to spend money,

從那時開始，你為了要與某個人出去，你必須要開始花錢

and dating became entangled with the economy.

而約會變成與經濟狀況息息相關

After World War II, the American economy flourished.

在第二次世界大戰後，美國經濟蓬勃發展

Between 1940 and 1960, the GDP soared from $200 billion to $500 billion.

從 1940 年到 1960 年，國內生產總值從 2000 億美元飆升至 5000 億美元

The economic boom after World War II in the United States means that young people have

第二次世界大戰後美國的經濟繁榮意味著年輕人

much more disposable income than they've ever had.

擁有的可支配收入遠遠超過以往

By 1956, there were 13 million teens with an average income of $10.55 per week.

到 1956 年，有 1300 萬青少年，平均每週收入 10.55 美元

That's the same amount of disposable income an entire family had 15 years prior.

這是 15 年前一整個家庭的收入

And they wanted to spend it.

所以他們會想要花錢

Unlike previous generations that were expected to help support their families,

與上一世代不同，有幫助維持家庭生計的渴望

this new generation had time for leisure and recreation.

這新一代的年輕人有時間進行休閒娛樂

This consumer-driven period was about affluence,

這個消費者充斥的時期是富裕的

and the dating scene closely reflected that economic prosperity:

而約會的方式密切反映經濟的繁榮：

shiny new cars, rock 'n' roll, drive-in movie theaters — and don't forget about

閃亮的新車、搖滾樂、可開車進去的電影院 ─ 不要忘了穩定地

going steady.

和對方交往

There was no looking back after that ...

那個時候過去了....

a disposable income and access to technology democratized dating for decades to come.

可支配收入、科技的普及、民主的約會，在幾十年後到來

We're riding on the internet, cyberspace set free, hello, virtual reality.

我們在網際網路裡，自由的網絡空間，哈囉，虛擬現實

Access to the internet meant access to more people.

進入到網際網路代表著能夠認識更多人

From 1995 to 2005, the number of internet users worldwide increased from 16 million

從 1995 年到 2005 年，全球網際網路用戶數量從 1600 萬增加到

to almost 1 billion.

將近 10 億

As with every previous era of dating history,

如同先前提到每個約會的歷史時代一樣

there's sort of this new economic sphere, and romance and flirtation becomes part of

這是一個新的經濟領域，浪漫和調情成為其能商業化的

how it gets commercialized.

其中一個原因

So chat rooms about sex or the opportunity to flirt with people online is a big part

所以能夠談有關性的聊天室或線上調情的機會

of what's appealing about AOL.

是美國線上主要吸引人的地方

By 1999, there were already 2,500 dating websites.

到了 1999 年，已經有 2500 個約會網站

But the big moment came around 2010, when mobile phones started changing the way people

但重大的時刻是在於 2010 年左右，因為手機改變人們交流

connect.

的方式

Because in the '90s, I think there's still this sense that the internet is sort of, you

因為在 90 年代，我認為還存在著網際網路是一種，你知道的

know, it's cyberspace.

網路空間的概念

It's this other universe that lives in your desktop and that you go to sometimes and chat

這是個存在於你桌上的一個宇宙，讓你有時可以去造訪

with a stranger.

並與陌生人聊天

Once everyone is carrying a computer on their person at almost all times and our physical

一旦每個人時時刻刻身邊都帶著一台電腦，而我們實際及虛擬的生活都交織在一起

and digital lives are interwoven, that really changes the dynamics.

這真的會改變現階段的平衡

It's no surprise that dating piggybacked on this explosive growth.

約會受到這爆炸式的成長影響並不意外

Dating apps, dating apps, dating apps.

約會 app、約會 app、約會 app

According to a recent survey, 77% of Americans own a smartphone and 15% of American adults

根據最近的一項調查，77％ 的美國人擁有智能手機和 15％ 的美國成年人

use dating apps.

有使用約會 app

Grindr launched in 2009, Tinder in 2012, and now there are hundreds of dating apps to choose from.

Grindr 於 2009 年推出，Tinder 於 2012 年推出，現在有數百種約會 app 可供選擇

So meeting new people has never been easier.

所以認識新朋友再簡單不過

But does that make us any happier?

但這有讓我們比以往更快樂嗎 ?

Dating is kind of a necessary evil.

約會是一種必要做的罪惡的事

The thing about online dating is that you don't trust anyone.

你不需要相信任何人就能進行線上約會

You get to pin your top hate or like, and this guy “hates abstinence.”

你可以標記你最討厭或最喜歡的人，像是這個人「討厭禁慾」

Every new technology, every new kind of social practice, inspires anxiety

每一種新科技、新的社會實踐

about how folks are meeting and pairing up.

都會激發人們對人們如何認識相見和配對的焦慮

So dating still kind of sucks.

所以約會一樣是爛透了

But that's nothing new.

但這並不是什麼新鮮事

My name's Tian, I'm gonna be 25.

我是 Tian，我將要 25 歲了

I'm looking for someone who...

我在尋找

comes from a long line of European nobility.

有歐洲貴族血脈的人

Absolutely, that is critical for me.

顯然地，那對我非常重要

Someone whose family has land holdings

一個其家族擁有，最理想的是，

across, ideally, the south of France.

南法土地所有權的人

And will take me vacationing in their summer castle.

然後帶我去他夏季的城堡中度假

I'm interested in going to bed early, to wake up even earlier.

我喜歡早一點上床睡覺，早一點醒來