Name: 【今夜秀】#為什麼我還是單身 (Hashtags: #WhyImSingle)
Uploaded: 2018-10-22T09:01:21.000Z
Duration: 6 min 51 s

"Why I'm Single" stories from you guys. Here we go.

來自各位的「為什麼我還是單身」，要開始囉

He says, "I order my food at the drive-thru with my regular voice,

他說了：「我在得來速用一般音量點餐」

then pretend I have a passenger and use another voice so they don't think it's all for one person.

「假裝另一個乘客，用另一個聲音點餐，這樣他們就不會以為都是我一個人要吃的。」

[ Southern accent ] Yeah, and two cheeseburgers!

[ Southern accent ] Super-size that thing, man!

She says, "I tried flirting with a guy by saying his smile was nice.

她說了：「我跟一個男生搭訕，說他笑容可掬。」

He said he got it from his mom. I replied," Your mom must be hot then."

他回說，他媽遺傳給他的。我回他：「你媽當時一定是個辣媽。」

He says, "The last time I was leaving a restaurant, the hostess said, "Enjoy your night,"

他說：「昨晚我要離開餐廳時，女店長說：『晚安。』」

She says, "Whenever I wear ripped jeans, I only shave the patches of leg hair that will be exposed.

她說：「當我穿破牛仔褲時，我只把露出腿毛的地方刮掉。」

She says, "Last night, I punched myself in the face with both hands trying to take my quilt out of the dryer.

她說：「昨晚，我試著從烘乾機拿被單時，不小心用兩手揍自己臉。」

I don't think -- You shouldn't be single for that.

-不對呀，化容膠布嗎 ? - 卸下面部的什麼 ?

我知道化容膠布，但是要卸下甚麼 ?

-De-mask somebody? -"Phantom of the Opera" thing?

還是卸下某人的 ? 歌劇魅影之類的 ?

Hey, how did he get that mask, the phantom of the opera?

等等，他是怎樣拿到歌劇魅影的面具的 ?

-So he like -- Did he smelt it or something?

Got his face burned with acid or whatever,

He does that on there. -That's true, yeah. Yeah.

And so the phantom makes the thing, and he cuts it out.

The music and the movement of the plaster of Paris mask

巴黎魅影石膏像，伴隨音樂的亦步亦趨

A dude with one side of his face missing.

One side of his face? I never saw the play.

There was a fire at the Paris Opera House,

so he moved into the subway? -No, no, no.

-Oh, the Paris Opera House. -...not his parents' house.

喔，是巴黎歌劇院 -不是他雙親家

Oh, I thought you said a fire at his parents house.

I love "Phantom of the Opera" and Andrew Lloyd Webber.

我愛「巴黎魅影」還有 Andrew Lioyd Webber

That's an Andrew Lloyd Webber joint, isn't it?

剛剛 cue 到 Andrew Lioyd Webber，注意到了嗎 ?

She says, "I once ate a dog biscuit on accident, and then again on purpose because it tasted just like a Mini Muffin.

她說：「有一次我不小心吃到狗餅乾，然後有一次是故意的，因為吃起來真的很像小瑪芬。」

He says, "I'm single because I'd probably have to update my wardrobe.

他說：「我單身，我應該要換換衣櫥裡的衣服了。」

I want to thank Simon Cowell for sending in that --

我想要感謝 Simon Cowell 送這張照片

Or the phantom of the opera wears the black.

字幕列表影片播放

【今夜秀】#為什麼我還是單身 (Hashtags: #WhyImSingle)

apparently

accent

pretend

dude