"Why I'm Single" stories from you guys. Here we go.

來自各位的「為什麼我還是單身」，要開始囉

This first one is from @wickedclos.

第一則來自 @wickedclos

He says, "I order my food at the drive-thru with my regular voice,

他說了：「我在得來速用一般音量點餐」

then pretend I have a passenger and use another voice so they don't think it's all for one person.

「假裝另一個乘客，用另一個聲音點餐，這樣他們就不會以為都是我一個人要吃的。」

Can I get a Big Mac?

我要一個大麥克

[ Southern accent ] Yeah, and two cheeseburgers!

[南方口音] 還有兩個起士漢堡

And two cheeseburgers.

好的，兩份起士漢堡

[ Southern accent ] Super-size that thing, man!

[南方口音] 要加大

Can you super-size --

另一個也要加大

Hey, let me order, all right?

讓我好好點餐好嗎 ?

What happens when they pull up, though?

取餐時見真章

Where's the other dude?

另一個老兄咧 ?

This one's from @KatyDombroski.

這則來自 @KatyDombroski

She says, "I tried flirting with a guy by saying his smile was nice.

她說了：「我跟一個男生搭訕，說他笑容可掬。」

He said he got it from his mom. I replied," Your mom must be hot then."

他回說，他媽遺傳給他的。我回他：「你媽當時一定是個辣媽。」

-Blblblblbl! -What?

-咳咳咳 ! - 蝦米 ?

This one from Avi Abrahamsen.

這則來自 @Avi Abrahamsen

He says, "The last time I was leaving a restaurant, the hostess said, "Enjoy your night,"

他說：「昨晚我要離開餐廳時，女店長說：『晚安。』」

and I said, "Love you too!"

我回她：「我也愛妳！」

This one's from @NicoleAsselin1.

這則來自 @NicoleAsselin1

She says, "Whenever I wear ripped jeans, I only shave the patches of leg hair that will be exposed.

她說：「當我穿破牛仔褲時，我只把露出腿毛的地方刮掉。」

That's good spatial awareness.

很有空間概念

Those are very hairy knees.

膝蓋毛叢叢

This one's from @KSchafheimer.

這則來自 @KSchafheimer

She says, "Last night, I punched myself in the face with both hands trying to take my quilt out of the dryer.

她說：「昨晚，我試著從烘乾機拿被單時，不小心用兩手揍自己臉。」

That's cute. That's cute.

很可愛，很可愛

I don't think -- You shouldn't be single for that.

我不覺得妳應該還單身呀

This one's from @demaskingtape.

這則來自 @demaskingtape

De-masking?

卸下面部什麼 ?

De-masking, Am I missing something?

卸下面部，是這樣嗎 ?

-No. Masking tape. De-masking?

-不對呀，化容膠布嗎 ? - 卸下面部的什麼 ?

I know masking tape. De-masking?

我知道化容膠布，但是要卸下甚麼 ?

Is that, like, to de-mask?

是說，像這樣卸下嗎 ?

-De-mask somebody? -"Phantom of the Opera" thing?

還是卸下某人的 ? 歌劇魅影之類的 ?

Hey, how did he get that mask, the phantom of the opera?

等等，他是怎樣拿到歌劇魅影的面具的 ?

He made it.

他手作的

-So he like -- Did he smelt it or something?

意思是他喜歡 ... 他聞了嗎 ?

Got his face burned with acid or whatever,

遭強酸腐蝕臉之類的

and then he made that mask.

然後做了個面具

Does he start with a balloon?

先用氣球做嗎 ?

I think he starts with a balloon.

我想是的

And then you use already-read --

然後用已經看過的

yesterday's newspaper. -Right.

隔夜報紙 -沒錯

Some flour, water.

佐以麵粉、水

-Or, he uses plaster of Paris.

或是他用巴黎般的雕像石膏

'Cause that's where he is.

他根本雕像吧

He does that on there. -That's true, yeah. Yeah.

他是這麼做的 -沒錯，是的

So, there, they call it...

所以，他們才這麼稱呼的

Plaster.

石膏

-That's correct.

正確

And so the phantom makes the thing, and he cuts it out.

是魅影做的，然後他切了下來

Right.

是的

Finds the eye hole.

找到眼窩

Right.

是的

-You know. -Right.

-你知道的 -沒錯

So he can see.

所以他看得見

The music and the movement of the plaster of Paris mask

巴黎魅影石膏像，伴隨音樂的亦步亦趨

But why --

但是為何 ?

Is this part of his face that good?

這邊好看嗎 ?

Well...

嗯 ...

Like, why not just do -- you know.

為何不這樣就好 ... 你知道的

Like, one of those -- a regular mask.

像一般的面具就好

I'm still the phantom of the opera.

我依舊是歌劇裡的魅影

-Right. -I look cooler than --

-沒錯 -我看起來更酷

Who wears a one-sided mask?

誰還在戴單眼面具的 ?

A dude with one side of his face missing.

半臉毀容的老兄囉

One side of his face? I never saw the play.

半臉 ? 我沒看過這齣劇

Apparently this side of the face got --

很明顯地一邊已經

One side of his face is missing?

一半毀容了 ?

Yeah, it got burnt or something.

被火吻之類的

Doesn't mean it's missing.

不是毀容的意思

There was a fire at the Paris Opera House,

巴黎歌劇院祝融

and he's ashamed of it.

他覺得羞恥

There was a fire at his parents' house,

他雙親的家遭祝融

so he moved into the subway? -No, no, no.

所以他喬遷到地下鐵 ? -不不不

The Paris Opera House...

是巴黎歌劇院

-Oh, the Paris Opera House. -...not his parents' house.

喔，是巴黎歌劇院 -不是他雙親家

Oh, I thought you said a fire at his parents house.

我以為你說他雙親家火災

I think I've seen it.

我看過

Anyways,

總之

I love "Phantom of the Opera" and Andrew Lloyd Webber.

我愛「巴黎魅影」還有 Andrew Lioyd Webber

This is from

來自

That's an Andrew Lloyd Webber joint, isn't it?

剛剛 cue 到 Andrew Lioyd Webber，注意到了嗎 ?

This one is from demaskingtape.

這則來自 demaskingtape

Oh! Like the phantom.

喔 ! 真的是魅影

-You're saying that the phantom

- 你又提到魅影幹嘛呀

She says, "I once ate a dog biscuit on accident, and then again on purpose because it tasted just like a Mini Muffin.

她說：「有一次我不小心吃到狗餅乾，然後有一次是故意的，因為吃起來真的很像小瑪芬。」

Don't eat dog biscuits.

別吃狗食好嘛

That is ruff.

這是才是王道

This one is from @MetalFanInBlack.

這則來自 @MetalFanInBlack

He says, "I'm single because I'd probably have to update my wardrobe.

他說：「我單身，我應該要換換衣櫥裡的衣服了。」

Look at this picture.

看看這張照片

Oh, my goodness.

我的天呀

I want to thank Simon Cowell for sending in that --

我想要感謝 Simon Cowell 送這張照片

Or the phantom.

搞不好是好兄弟喔

Or the phantom of the opera wears the black.

歌劇好兄弟穿黑的也說不定

What happened at the end

「歌劇魅影」

of "Phantom of the Opera?"

最後發生什麼事了 ?

Do they get married?

他們結婚了嗎 ?

I think he burns alive, doesn't he?

我記得他浴火重生，不是嗎 ?

That's just a guess. That's just a guess.

我只是隨便猜猜

Does he really? Have you seen it?

他真的 ? 你看過嗎 ?

-Me? -Yeah.

-我 ? - 就是你

Nah.

還沒

-No one in this -- No one's seen "Phantom of the Opera?"

-在場沒有人 -沒人看過「歌劇魅影」?

Wait, Stro says he saw it.

等等，Stro 看過

-What happened? -What happens at the end?

怎麼了 ? 最後怎麼了 ?

I don't remember.

我不記得了

Why would you even say that you saw?

有看過等於沒看過

This last one -- -Oh, thank God.

- 最後一則 - 喔，謝天謝地

The last one is -- "I saw it, I saw it.

- 最後一則是；我看過我看過

I don't remember anything.

我不記得了

This last one's from U.S. ski team member, Lindsey Vonn,

最後一則來自美國滑雪隊隊員，Lindsey Vonn

our pal!

她是我們的筆友 !

What?

認真 ?

She played the hashtag game, "Why I'm Single."

她也參加 #「為什麼我還是單身?」

She said, "I'm single because I only have

她說，「我單身，因為我眼裡」

eyes for the Olympics."

「只有奧林匹克」

"Also, where's my pep talk, coach?"

「還有，教練，我的激勵士氣的話在哪？」

Oh, I did promise her.

喔，我承諾過

I promised Lindsey I would do a pep talk before the Olympics.

我承諾過我會在奧運前給她勉勵的話

So, they start tomorrow.

明天就要開始了

Do you guys mind if I give Team USA a little pep talk?

你們願意讓我給美國國家隊一些激勵士氣的話嗎 ?

All right. Give me. Give me my onesie.

我豁出去了，上吧，給我連身裙

Here we go. All right.

來吧，穿上

I've got to put my onesie on here.

現場穿上

Quest, can I get a drumroll?

Quest，可以來個打鼓聲嗎 ?

Got to get my rat tail.

戴上老鼠尾巴

Hey, team USA.

聽好，美國國家隊

Do it!

做

Just do it!

做就對了

You're going to the Olympics! I need you to ski!

要參加奧運 ! 我要你給我用力滑 !

Bronze did it, silver did it.

銅牌有了，銀牌有了

So do it! Be the gold!

那就金牌吧 !

Ski down the hill! Speed skate!

往下滑 ! 雪橇加速 !

Triple Lutz!

來個勾手三周跳 !

Sweep the ice! Curl!

橫掃冰場 ! 甩尾 !

You're the best, so be the best, and beat the best!

你們是最好的，當最好的，做最好的 !

Do it!

做吧 !

Good luck to all the athletes

祝，所有運動員

competing in the Winter Games next week.

下周冬奧參賽好運