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Hey guys its Victor Foote from TransMind and today I am here to help you understand basic
principles to help you improve your social skills. The reason I'm doing this is because
I suffered for a long time with social anxiety. Basically I had no idea how to talk to people
which prevented me from living the life that I wanted. If I tried to talk to someone my
mind always draw blanks and I would feel so embarrassed. By the time I reached 17 I was
so over whelmed by my inability to speak to people that I began my journey in discovering
how to communicate effectively with others. It all began with my journal. I started writing
down my feelings in order to create a record of who I am. As the wheels started turning
I started to feel hope. Looking back at an entry I wrote over 10 years I said “I promise
when I am able to find a way to cure my social anxiety I will help others cure their own!”
Well, I never break a promise, so here it is….
Picture: Technique #1 Flooding Smile The first thing you need to start working on is your
smile. A big warm smile will allow people to open up to you. We tend to judge people
the first few seconds of meeting them. By using your smile you will seem more approachable.
Your main goal is to not flash your smile and over use it. When you first meet a person
you want to look at that person's face for a second. Be in the moment. Then show them
a big warm smile. Remember don't rush the smile. The smile is genuine and meant for
them.
Picture: Technique #2 Sticky Eyes Eye contact is very important. You want to be able to
maintain it and not fidget around. It has the ability to speak more then you know. Even
more then your words. Intense eye contact is also linked to awaking feelings of respect
and affection. It gives off the impression of being an intelligent, focused person. It
also allows people to feel pleasure while they are talking because you look interested
in what that person has to say. Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation partner's.
Remember to not break eye contact even if that person has stopped talking. Slowly allow
your eyes to leave your partners. Quick movements will only leave the person thinking you want
to leave the conversation as soon as possible.
Picture: Technique #3 Epoxy Eyes. Epoxy eyes must be used on a person you are interested
in that you want to be more then just friends. I used this technique on a girl I was working
with. When ever a group of us would talk I would give her the most eye contact even if
someone else was talking. Epoxy eyes combined with my warm smile sent her the underlying
message that I was interested. Plus everyone in the restaurant knew I was interested in
her as well. I didn't hide my intentions. And guess what? We have been together ever
since we used to work at the restaurant. Our bodies are always giving off signals to everyone
showing how we really feel. When we are nervous we tend to shrink and lower our voices.
This next technique is all about tricking your mind into making your body seem like
you are comfortable. Remember, mindsets are very important with everything you do. The
next time you are going to meet someone new use “technique number 6 hello old friend”
Pretend as if they are an old friend. Imagining them as a person your are comfortable talking
to. This will change your body language instantly. This will also allow the person you are talking
to feel comfortable. On a subconscious level we can sense the energy that is around us.
If someone is nervous, we almost start to feel the same emotion. Radiate good energy
by acting as if you have known this person your entire life. If you were a dog you would
be wagging your tail right now!
This next technique will make you come across to people is being more confident and credible.
“technique number 7 limit the fidget” By moving around too much and fidgeting you
come across as someone who doesn't believe in themselves. The human body externally projects
what the person is feeling on the inside. Changing the way we externally act will change
the way people view us. Whenever you have a conversation that really counts, you want
to use this technique to get your point across. Fight that urge to scratch your nose or rub
your arms. Keep calm and don't fidget.
Start experimenting with these techniques. At first you are going to feel uncomfortable
and nervous. With enough practice it will become second nature. Trust me it took me
awhile but realize with enough effort and hard work you will reach your destination.
Trust the process and believe. Click on the affiliate link in the description box if you
wanted to purchase the book. Im Victor Foote from TransMind. For more videos like this
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the people that need these videos the most. Take care!