So excitingly, next week

is international week of the deaf.

Ooh!

I'm going to be making three videos

That are going to go through the week

They're going to be on a different schedule

*gasp*

How will we cope?

We will cope fine.

They will be on a Monday, Wednesday

and Friday

rather than my normal Thursday, Friday and Saturday

And by the way, can we again just discuss Saturday,

because what a sign, the day we clean stuff.

I mean I'd say it's the day

we go shopping and then go out and party, *but*

Yes, historical signs.

I wanted to start

my deaf video week

with thirteen things I want

my hearing friends

to know.

Number one! I'm faking it.

Yeah. My understanding, that is. Because really,

I have no clue!

Probably 50% of the time,

I, I'm, I'm just, I've lost the plot.

I'm good at it!

Er, It's second nature now.

But I hate it!

I'll have a conversation with you,

We'll walk away from each other,

you'll think: "Oh, yeah, completely,

She completely knows what's going on-

*No*. No.

For the last ten minutes, maybe? I've had absolutely no clue.

It is amazing how far

"Oh, yes!"

And "Really!"

And this face:

can get you in life.

Number two!

Please can we meet somewhere

with really good lighting?

Going to a pub or a bar is really great, and I love dancing,

but I really can't understand without lip-reading, and maybe a little bit of sign.

So, somewhere with good lighting is pretty much vitally important.

*Please*.

Number three.

If you could learn just a few signs, that would be really helpful for me.

Like: mainly toilet.

Or: toilet!

Actually probably *just* toilet.

Toilet...

Please...

Four!

When I follow something that you were just saying with a completely unrelated story,

and I speak very loudly, and with a lot of emphasis for a *very* long time!

I didn't really mean to talk over you, or, to act like I wasn't listening to what you were saying,

it's just that literally I wasn't listening to what you were saying and I could not understand what you were saying,

and now I don't really want to be left alone, and isolated from this conversation, because I am terrified of the isolation of deafness,

OK? So here is a story that vaguely relates; please just nod.

Five!

Please don't play games with my hearing.

Hmm.

Even if it's just holding your hand over your mouth, and saying: "Can you hear me now?"

*Sarcastic laughter*.

No.

It's like if someone's on crutches and you take their crutch away from them - Hah!

Can you walk now?

No. And you're an arse.

Six!

Please feel free to complain about how really loud and noisy it is in here,

and how you've got earache, and ugh!

It's totally fine! It's OK. You're not offending me.

My hearing can exist in a completely separate realm to yours; it's OK.

Seven!

But do not say: "Oh! I wish I was deaf!"

Do you? Do you.

Just because the baby's crying,

that doesn't mean it's great

to not be able to use one of your senses properly.

K?

You wish that you had really selective hearing, and you could choose when to turn it off.

You are *not* wishing that you were left entirely on your own, unable to hear anything,

and you have absolutely no choice in the matter.

Eight!

*Please* tell me any and all juicy gossip!

I am dying to hear.

I LOVE a good gossip, but you know I can't overhear, and then jump into your conversation,

so please, please, *please*,

Tap me on the shoulder and say: "Hey! Did you know about this?"

I'm like- *gasp* I did not! Tell me more.

I am an awful gossip. I should probably work on that, but-

I don't want to!

Nine!

Using your phone to communicate with me is totally fine!

In fact, it's a really great idea. Yes please! Do that more.

If you've already said it twice, and I still don't understand, then go ahead -

whip out your phone, text away and then just- just show me the screen

Got it- got it? You understand- understand?

Yes! *Please*.

And don't worry, it's not rude, it is an excellent idea.

Ten!

I'm only half-sorry that I can't sing in tune, or- or dance to the beat.

Um, mainly I just... don't care.

I'm busy. Having too much fun.

So, we're gonna go to karaoke,

and you will probably have difficulty ever seeing me in the same light *ever* again.

I... probably sound like a... cat has been murdered.

But I don't care!

Eleven!

It's all in the eyes!

OK, no, it- it's not, it's all in the face - your face.

Could you please just add some expression to it?

Thank you.

I can't hear your tone, so I- I can't really read between the lines of what you're saying.

I... *sigh*

If you're joking then, could you please just wink at me?

I know you'll feel really... stupid, but it's *very* helpful!

Twelve!

Following on from that:

I didn't mean it that way, I'm *so* sorry!

I *constantly* accidentally offend people with my tone of voice.

My poor wife gets the- gets the real brunt of this.

I'll say something nice, and then she'll look at me with such... offence! Such hurt! Such pain!

And... I'm just a bit confused.

I'm a *very* happy person, uh, but my voice is sometimes a little passive-aggressive.

And, um - and sarcastic.

But- but it's not me. I promise. I'm so sorry. Please be my friend again!

Thirteen!

And, finally, can I *please* have your attention?

Look up when you're talking, don't turn away mid-sentence.

And please, please, *please*, stop talking to your phone!

Being deaf means that I am *forced* to truly listen to you.

So... please could you just do the courtesy of... listening to me?

So, there you go, my thirteen things I want my hearing friends to know.

Hi- hi friends.

I think I'm just gonna post this on Facebook like: Hi! Hello everyone who- who knows me - be my friend again!

If you enjoyed this video, then please, hit the like button, that's very kind of you and it really does help spread my little message.

And, if you are not already, then come along, subscribe, come in, join us,

and I hope that you are looking forward to next week's videos! The first of which will be coming on Monday.

Yay!