But to speak in a way that people would want to listen to, is definitely one of the hardest things to do.

可是要說得讓人想聽，絕非易事。

In fact, speaking is the reason why we have problems in the first place,

事實上，談話正是問題的源頭，

starting from a simple conflict in the family that might end up with a breakup and tear apart the entire family,

從可能導致家庭分裂的紛爭，

to an argument between politicians that might end up with a war.

到可能引起戰爭的政客間針鋒相對。

That's why mastering the art of communication is probably the best thing you can do!

這就是為什麼掌握溝通的技巧可能是你最該做的事！

So, let's talk about the 2 rules that if you follow, people will certainly listen to you!

所以，如果遵從以下兩點，一定能讓大家願意停下來聽你說話！

First of all, choose the right time and the right place.

第一，選擇對的時機和地點。

How often do you talk about serious topics in the kitchen during dinner

你有多常在晚餐之際，在飯桌前討論嚴肅的話題，

when everyone had a long day and all they want is to relax?

正當大家累了一整天，只想要放鬆休息時？

Or criticise a friend in front of others when you are chilling out there?

或是休息聊天時，在別人面前批評自己的朋友？

Speaking is so easy that we do not consider it as a special activity that we have to plan and prepare for,

開口說話輕而易舉，所以我們不會認為談話是特別需要計劃或準備的行動，

and that's why we mostly end up doing it in the wrong time and the wrong place!

這就是為什麼我們大都在錯的時間和地點發言！

When someone is angry or had a bad day, it's not the time to criticise them

當別人生氣，或是心情被搞得烏煙瘴氣時，就不是適合批評他們的時機，

because that will only lead to an argument and won't result in anything good.

因為這只會造成爭執，並不會有好結果。

Next time, you want to pull out a joke or raise an important question,

下次，你想開個玩笑，或問個問題前，

ask yourself if NOW is the right time to do that?

先捫心自問：現在的時機適合這樣做嗎？

Secondly, know what are you saying and why, and there are 3 steps for it.

第二，知道自己在說什麼，還有原因。有三個步驟可以幫助你：

First, what the other person should know after the conversation and why?

首先，對方應該要從對話中得到什麼資訊，以及原因。

If you can't summarise your message into a single sentence, then you shouldn't start the conversation in the first place.

如果你無法用一句話概括你的重點，那一開始就不該開啟話題。

Because the other person you are talking to, most probably will misunderstand you!

因為你說話的對象，可能會誤會你的意思！

Secondly, what should he feel after the conversation?

接著，對話之後，對方應該感覺如何？

What kind of emotions do you want him to experience?

你想要對方有什麼感受？

Do you want him to feel sad, happy, angry, inspired?

你想要對方感到難過、開心、生氣，還是受到激勵呢？

Have you ever considered this before talking to someone?

在談話之前，你有想過這個問題嗎？

If you want your message to be understood clearly, you have to be very careful with his or her emotions!

如果你想要對方充分了解自己的意思，你必須注意對方的情緒表現！

Thirdly, what action do you want him to take after the conversation?

第三點，你想要對方在談話過後，付諸什麼行動？

Help you out, change his behavior or you simply want him to read a book, for example?

幫助你、改變他的行為，還是想要對方讀本書就好？

The problem is that, we often throw out words without a specific purpose, so they ruin the entire conversation.

問題在於，我們常常說出沒有明確目的的話，這就毀了整個談話的過程。

By applying these 2 rules, you will find more people listening to you.

實踐以上兩點原則，你就會發現更多人願意傾聽你。

You will avoid countless numbers of unnecessary arguments and conflicts.

你會避開無數不必要的爭執和衝突。

Thanks for watching and I will see in the next one!

謝謝你的收看，我們下支影片再見！