When comparing yourself to someone who is inferior than you, you may feel content with who you are and lose the passion to grow to your full potential.

和比自己低下的人比較時，可能因為會對自己滿意，進而失去完全發揮潛力的熱情。

When comparing yourself to someone who is superior than you, it could just make you feel bad about yourself and focus on how little you've progressed in comparison to them.

和比自己優秀的人比較時，可能會覺得自己很糟，只注意自己和他人相比下有多麼不足。

And this can be very discouraging altogether.

這兩件事都很使人洩氣。

I mean if you look at someone else and work your own goals around theirs you're actually following someone else's path.

我指的是，如果你把眼光看向他人，並以此為目標努力，你其實是在追尋其他人的腳步。

But that path is probably not the same path as yours and will not be the path you need to take in order for you to achieve your own dreams.

但那條路和你實現夢想要經過的路不見得會是同一條。

The thing is, everyone is different.

重點是，每個人都不一樣。

Diamonds are valuable because it doesn't pretend to be Topaz.

鑽石之所以有價值，因為它不會假裝是黃玉。

Topaz are valuable because it doesn't pretend to be Rubies.

黃玉之所以有價值，因為它不會假裝是紅寶石。

Everything is beautiful in it's own way.

每個東西都有其吸引人之處。

We are all valuable in our own way.

我們有屬於各自的價值。

For example, if you're a fish but you compare your running skills to a tiger, you will undoubtedly be disappointed in your own value.

舉例來說，如果你是一條魚，但卻和老虎比賽跑步，無庸置疑，你會對自己的價值感到失望。

But actually, you can swim way better than a tiger can.

但事實上，你游得比老虎好很多。

And that there is your value.

而這就是你的價值。

Therefore, what you should be focusing on is finding yourself.

因此，你要做的是專注找尋自我。

Walking on your own path and competing with yourself.

走自己的路，和自己比賽。

Instead of looking at yourself and the things that you don't have, you should be focusing on the things that you do have and do well.

而非挑出自己的毛病，或缺少的東西，專注在你擁有且做得很好的事物上。

And even if being yourself doesn't always succeed, like maybe you'll fall, or maybe you'll fail, you just have to think that whatever the outcome is, it's the best outcome you could have.

即使做自己並不代表一定會成功，你可能會跌倒或是失敗，你要想的是，不論結果如何，這都是你所能擁有的最好結局。

Now you're probably wondering something like: Hey I lost the race, hey I didn't do as well on my exams as my friends, hey I did terribly in the job interview, and then think how is that the best outcome I could have?

你現在可能想著，可是我輸了競賽，可是我考試考得比我朋友差，可是我搞砸了工作面試，這怎麼可能是最好的結果？

It's the best outcome because of the circumstances in that moment.

因為這是就當下情況能有的最好結果。

I'll give you an example, there was a runner who finished in 4th place because the night before she raced, she didn't sleep very well therefore not getting enough rest and not having enough energy to run as she did when she was training.

讓我為你舉一個例子，有個跑者比賽得到第四名，因為比賽前一天她沒有睡好，所以沒有充分休息，也沒有獲得她在訓練時該有的足夠能量。

She was really sad and she blamed herself because she thought that she didn't do the best that she could because if she had had more rest, she would have done better.

她很沮喪，也怪自己沒有發揮最佳表現，如果她有更多休息，她一定可以做得更好。

But in reality, she's not able to turn back the time to when she didn't get enough rest.

但現實是，她沒辦法回到沒睡好的那個時間點。

Which means that ultimately, we cannot control everything and we cannot change anything even if it wasn't done as well as we had hoped.

這代表，我們最終無法控制和改變任何事情，即使它發展得並不如我們所預期的好。

It really was the best outcome considering the situation.

這真的是當時狀況下能有的最好結果。

The voice in our head that's always telling us things like "had I known, I wouldn't have done it that way" or "if I hadn't done it like this, I wouldn't be in the position I am in now", they comes from our hope and expectations that want to fix our disappointments but in reality we aren't able to turn back the time to fix what's already happened.

我們腦中的聲音總是告訴我們：「早知如此，我就不會這麼做了」，或是「如果我沒有那麼做，我現在就不會在這個處境了」，這些想法來自我們想要改變失望處境的期待和心情，但現實生活中，我們無法倒轉時間改變已發生的事。

And because we can't fix it, then we think that's it's our fault and we blame ourselves.

因為無力改變，所以我們認為是自己的錯，並且責怪自己。

But no matter how much we blame ourselves, we can't change the past.

但無論多自責，我們仍無法改變過去。

Therefore, the only thing that can release us from blaming ourselves is to understand that we are not the only cause for what happened.

因此，能做的唯一一件事就是從自我責備中解脫，了解我們並不是造成事情發生的唯一原因。

The runner finished in 4th place not just because she was too excited to fall asleep.

跑者得到第四名，不光是因為她太興奮睡不著。

But it was also because of several other reasons.

也有其他因素使然。

The 3 winners had trained 6 months longer than her and were more familiar with the trail.

前三名的跑者們多訓練了六個月，而且比較熟悉跑道。

Not only that, but actually there was another runner that didn't make it because of a major traffic jam.

不只如此，也有其他跑者因為嚴重的交通堵塞無法到場。

There was traffic because there was construction.

會有交通堵塞是因為有施工。

There was construction to fix a broken telephone pole.

這項施工在修理壞掉的電線桿。

There was a broken telephone pole from the lightning and there was lightning from the storm.

電線桿會壞掉是因為閃電，有閃電是因為有暴風雨。

Now you can see that had the storm not hit last night, our racer would've finished 5th place because the other runner would have made it to the race.

所以你現在可以知道，如果昨晚沒有暴風雨，這位跑者可能會變成第五名，因為其他跑者就可以到場參加比賽。

There are so many other reasons that this could have happened.

還有很多可能的原因會發生。

We are not the only ones to cause something to happen and we can never go back to change the past.

我們不是唯一造成事情發生的原因，也沒有辦法回到過去改變任何事。

So if we can remember that when we are disappointed in ourselves, we may learn to blame ourselves a little bit less, have a little bit more understanding and be able to accept the things that happen to us.

所以只要記住這點，當我們對自己失望時，就能學會對自己少一點責怪，有更多的了解，並能夠接受發生在我們身上的事。