..when I first shake someone's hand.

當我第一次與人握手時

And maybe it's just me.

也許只有我吧

Maybe I'm just awkward.

也許我就是個怪咖

Nah, that couldn't be it.

不, 才不是咧~

I'm sure everyone has experienced an awkward handshake before.

我相信大家或多或少都有一些尷尬的握手經驗

Especially to all you guys.

特別是你們

You know what I'm talking about, right?

你知道我要說什麼了, 對吧?

Every single group of friends has different handshakes that they use...

不同的朋友有不同的握手方式

and I can never remember which of my friends do which type of handshakes.

然而我卻無法記住跟每個朋友握手的方式

And I've had a lot of awkward handshakes in my life,

所以常常在握手時很尷尬

but recently I just had one of the most awkward handshakes...

但我最近有一個極其尷尬的握手經驗...

..I've ever experienced before.

我之前都沒經歷過的

And it basically inspired me to make this video.

而且它也給了我拍攝這部片的靈感

There's really no way to reenact how bad or awkward this was...

實在沒辦法重演那多麼糟糕或尷尬...

..but it kind of went like this:

不過事情的經過大概是...

So there I was, about to enter a house party with my friend Derrick,

我和我的朋友 Derrick 正要去參加派對

but we'll call him Darren to protect his identity.

為了保護隱私, 我們先叫他 Darren

I'm not going to lie. I was a little nervous because I don't go...

說真的, 我有點緊張...

..to many parties where I don't know anyone and these people...

因為我通常不去那些我不熟的人的派對

..were all Derrick's--Darren's--friends.

而他們都是 Derrick 的朋友 ... 我是說, Darren 的朋友

We entered the house and, just like any other party,

我們進到屋子裡, 它就像其他的派對一樣

there was a lot of people there.

裡面有很多人

Instantly, my heart started beating faster and faster, knowing what was coming next.

瞬間, 我的心跳越來越快, 覺得可能有什麼事要發生了

That's when the guy throwing the party came over to greet Devin and myself.

這時候, 主辦者過來招呼 Devin 和我

I watched as he went over to Dennis and gave him...

我看到他走到 Dennis 那邊, 並...

..the classic handshake-to-hug flawlessly.

跟他做了一個經典完美的握手擁抱

And that's when it happened.

就在這時

Donovan pointed at me and said the words that would lead to my inevitable doom.

Donovan 指著我, 並說了引我走向末路的話

Hey! Meet my friend, Ryan.

嘿! 這是我的朋友 Ryan

Hey! What's up, man?

嘿! 你好嗎?

And as he turned to me, I had to make a decision.

當他轉向我, 我不得不做出決定...

What handshake should I give him?

我要跟他用哪種方式握手?

I know for a fact that he does the handshake-to-hug maneuver...

我知道他可能會用握手擁抱

..because I just saw him do it to Dexter, but he also lives...

因為我看到他跟 Dexter 是這種握法, 但是他住在...

..in a relatively nice house, which means he's probably...

這個不錯的房子, 這意味著他可能...

..some kind of business man that does a lot of business handshakes.

是某種生意人, 所以可能用談生意的方式握手

But this wasn't business.

但是現在不是在談生意啊

This was a house party with his buddies.

現在是在他為他朋友辦的派對裡耶...

So maybe he just wants to pound it.

所以他可能只會碰一下

Yeah. That's what he wants.

對, 這就是他要的

To pound it.

碰一下

-Hey, what's up, man? -[inauduble] Um...

-嘿! 你好嗎? -嗯...

Hi.

嗨...

And that's when I realized I had to get out of here, with or without Darren.

我突然覺得, 不管 Darren 要不要離開, 我想先閃了

Either that or I would have to kill every single person that--

如果不是這樣, 我要殺人滅口了...

Who's Darren?

誰是 Darren ?

And that's when I realized...I was narrating out loud.

這時候我才意識到... 我把我的內心話說出來了...

Okay, so maybe I exaggerated that just a tad.

好吧, 也許有點誇張, 只是說了一點點

That's not what happened.

事情不是那樣...

But the situation was pretty awkward.

但是當時情況真的超尷尬的

And I probably won't be hanging out with those guys anymore.

我可能不會再跟那伙人出去了吧

I'm tired of always having awkward handshakes with people.

我已經厭倦跟人用尷尬的方式握手了

There's so many different handshakes in the world...

世界上有非常多的握手方式

and I believe that the more handshakes you know,

而且我相信當你知道越多握手法

the more prepared you'll be when it happens.

握手時就需要更多的準備

And after countless hours of research and lab tests and...Googling,

經過我數小時的測試和估狗...

I created the ultimate handshake that will help you in any situation,

我創造了一個究極握手法, 可以在任何情況下幫助你

no matter how awkward.

不管有多尷尬

But before we jump into that, you have to learn all the basics.

但是在進入正題之前, 你必須學會所有的基礎握手法

The Single Grip.

單手握

The Double Grip.

雙手握

The Pound-it.

碰握

The Fist Bump.

碰拳頭

The Pound-it to Fist Bump.

碰握 + 碰拳頭

The Pound-it to Fist Bump to Explosion.

碰握 + 碰拳頭 + 爆炸

The Cup.

握杯法

The Chicken Fight.

拇指大戰法

The Cup to Chicken Fight.

握杯法 + 拇指大戰法

The Cup to Chicken Fight to Emily Rose.

握杯法 + 拇指大戰法 + 倒數

One, two, three, four, five, six. One, two, three, four, five, six.

1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 1 2 3 4 5 6 ...

One, two, three, four, five, six.

00:02:28,237 --> 00:02:29,190 抱握

The Handshake to Hug.

抱握 + 彈指

The Handshake to Snap.

擊掌 (五指)

The High-5.

雙擊掌 (十指)

The High-10!

擊掌 (六指)

The High-6.

拍兩下

The Double-Hit.

握太大力握手法

The Too Much Strength handshake. (Ryan whimpers)

藥頭握法

The Drug Dealer.

搖搖手握法

The Hand Shake Handshake.

無手握法

The No Hand Handshake.

交叉擊掌

The Cross Arm.

法式握法

The French Handshake.

擊杯

The Cheers.

握腳

The Foot Handshake.

「林來瘋」握法

The Lin-Sanity.

E.T. 握法

The E.T.

手剛洗濕濕的握法

The I Just Washed My Hands Handshake.

噢...抱歉...

Oh, sorry...um...

「留住一片情」握法 (註: 電影名稱)

Walk to Remember Handshake.

「新鮮王子妙事多」握法 (註: 電視劇名稱)

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Handshake.

「大頭仔天空」握法 (註: 動畫片名稱)

The Hey Arnold.

「如何成為流氓」握法

The How-To Be Gangster Handshake.

耶!!!

(together) Yeah!

鴿子握法

The Pigeon.

烏龜握法

The Turtle.

蜘蛛握法

The Spider.

呀~~

(yells)

水母握法

The Jellyfish Handshake.

狗握法

The What Up Dog?

嘿! 狗你好嗎?

Hey! What up, dog?

抱手握法

The Hand-Hug.

運動員握法

The Sports Handshake.

蝙蝠俠握法

The Batman Handshake.

告訴我哪裡有小丑...你想從我這裡得到什麼?

(in gruff voice) Tell me where the Joker is. What do you want from me?

-嘿, Bruce! -哦, 嘿...

-Hey, Bruce! -Oh, hey there.

江南Style握手法

Oppa Handshake Style.

耳機握手法

The Beats by Dre Handshake.

♪也許我要下去♪

-Maybe I'm going down. -Maybe I'm going down.

♪也許我要走出我的腦海裡♪

Maybe I'm out of my MA.hm.A.hm

強大的英雄聯盟握手法

Powerful Heroes Teaming Up Handshake.

忍術握法

The Jutsu Handshake.

十指交扣握法

The Fingerlace Handshake.

十指交扣握法 + 電流

The Fingerlace Handshake to Wave.

十指交扣握法 + 電流 + 電流

The Fingerless Handshake to Wave to Wave Handshake.

還有這個...

And...this.

最後的重點來了... 究極握手法

And, last but not least, The Ultimate Handshake.

為了執行這個握手法

In order to perform this handshake,

你需要一個也會這種握手法的朋友

you're going to need a friend who knows it as well.

現在你應該熟悉每一個握手法了

By now, you should be comfortable with every handshake.

但是要呈現這個究極握手法

But in order to perform this handshake,

除了你剛剛學的基本握手法之外

not only are you going to need everything you've learned so far...

你還需要一些前置作業, 像是...

but you're going need to prep. Like this.

00:04:37,227 --> 00:04:38,118

Yeah...um...

00:04:38,581 --> 00:04:39,103

(glasses tinkle)

00:04:41,858 --> 00:04:42,518

(shake)

00:04:43,352 --> 00:04:44,797

(drums)

00:04:45,307 --> 00:04:46,906

(thud)

00:04:52,304 --> 00:04:53,882 全部都準備好之後

(strums guitar)

你就可以開始這個究極握手法之...

And once you're prepped and ready to go,

握手之歌

you can finally perform The Ultimate Handshake:

00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:16,544 ♪我不知道這和杯子歌有什麼關係♪

The Handshake song.

♪不過怎樣都無所謂♪

(all sounds made before blend into one song)

♪因為杯子也是一個很酷的部分♪

♪ I don't know the words to the real Cup Song ♪

♪而且我們一天就拍完了耶♪

♪ But it doesn't matter anyway ♪

♪握手之歌♪

♪ Cuz' the cool part is the part with the cups ♪

♪握手之歌♪

♪ and the fact that it was done in one take ♪

♪這就是我為什麼創造握手之歌♪

♪ Handshake Song ♪

♪我不知道怎麼玩杯子這東西♪

♪ Handshake Song ♪

♪我也不知道 Anna Kendrick 在唱啥♪

♪ That's why I made The Handshake Song ♪

♪這就是我為什麼創造握手之歌♪

♪ I don't know how to do the cup thing ♪

耶!!!!

♪ I don't know what Anna Kendrick sings ♪

嘿! 兄弟, 謝謝你來我的派對

♪ That's why I made The Handshake Song ♪

從來沒有人能讓現場的人共同參與到...

(together) Yeah!

這個如此棒的團康歌

Hey, man. Thanks for coming to my party, bro.

嘿, 老兄, 這是我能做的

No one has ever gotten everyone to participate...

所以... 我們待會見吧...還是?

..in such a poorly spoofed song before.

我不知為何DJ不放歌了...

Hey, man. It's what I do.

00:06:24,002 --> 00:06:25,094 就這樣了

So...I guess I'll see you guys later? Or...

現在讓我們照一下鏡子

I don't know why the DJ stopped, but--

我認為這看起來沒我想的那麼酷

(laughs)

00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:38,153 大聲一點, Sean

(phone rings) There you go.

我不知道什麼是...

Now let's do one looking in the mirror.

只要對這相機說話, 像我一樣

-That doesn't look as cool as I thought. -Aw.

嘿大家好, 我是 Ryan Higa !

(everyone cracks up)

你剛才吻了一下!

Louder, Shawn.

嘿! 你好嗎?

I don't know what--

-耶! -哈哈...我忘了...

(Ryan) Just talk to the camera like it's me.

00:06:58,881 --> 00:06:59,812 完成了

Hey, guys. I'm Ryan Higa!

(Sean) You just kissed it!

(together) Hey! What's up?!

-Yeah! -Hah. Hah. I forget.

(laughs)

(director) I'll take that.

(everyone cheers)